Really upset with parents. Am I overreacting?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

There’s stress in this situation for everyone involved. Just remember that they mean well, and humor them in their concern for you. It might end up being fun having him around. 

Post # 47
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You told them not to come.  You told them numerous times.  You can easily not be home when he gets there.  You can stay at a hotel.  You can ask him to leave.  You can not open the door and pretend you aren’t home.  I certainly wouldn’t reward the boundary stomp.

Post # 49
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

Bee, I have to agree with one of the PPs. It seems like you may not need them now, but later on it’s comforting looking back on it seeing that they were there.

i was in the EXACT same position. My dad flew to see me and didn’t say anything. I was so ashamed because divorce felt like a failure. But later on I realized no matter how much we don’t see eye to eye, they wanted to watch out for me. With my upcoming second marriage, having my dad’s support suddenly meant the world to me.

Post # 51
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Aww he’s your dad he’s just worried and so is your mum it’s hard for parents to see their children be screwed over. My phine died in a conversation with my mum the other day and I was too tired to dig out the charger so I thought she will know it’s died I’ll speak to her later. Darling Husband wasn’t home. An hour later my mum is on my door step! She had phoned Darling Husband who said he wasn’t home and couldn’t get hold of me so despite the fact she had worked a night shift the night before and was working another one that evening she drove up to check I was ok (I am pregnant so she’s extra worried) that’s just what parents do they worry and they do insane things to checker are ok. 

Post # 53
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

pw067 :  I’m so sorry about your impending divorce, although it definitely sounds like he did you a huge favor. You have already gotten advice from both sides, so I’m just going to address what is going on with your mother. I think you should stop texting her. She is hurt, and now you are trying to force her to speak with you. In a way, you are not respecting her boundaries like she didn’t respect yours. While I do think it’s very immature for your mom to freeze you out, I also know that we can’t expect everyone to act like we would. She is reacting from hurt. Let her lick her wounds, eventually you will talk. No avoiding that. Hopefully when you do, both of you can express your feelings and hurt and come to new understanding. 

Post # 54
4029 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

pw067 :  I’m really happy to read your most current update about your dad and having a nice time with him last night, this sounds similar to the relationship I have with my dad, it’s just easy…

Your other update about your mom on the other hand is upsetting and sounds a lot like my mother, the nasty attitude if she doesn’t like something or guilt tripping you even though you’ve apologized profusely.

Your mothers behavior is her own and has nothing to do with you. You’ve apologized, you need to move on and not worry about how she’s feeling for the time being. Enjoy this time with your dad. I think you will be happier than you think with him there as your update also confirmed… Good luck op…

Post # 55
4570 posts
Honey bee

Why do you keep doing it then?  Her phone isn’t broken.  When she’s ready to move on she’ll respond.  Why do you insist on repeatedly messaging her over and over checking if she’s ready to speak to you, particularly when you say it’s so triggering for you?  It’s the equivalent of a child in the backseat of a car on a road trip – Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  How about now?  Are we there yet?

One message:  Mom, I’m sorry I over-reacted.  I appreciate that you and dad care so much about me.  Give me a call when you can. 

Then go about your business writing your papers or whatever it is you need to do.  Not everyone wants to communicate on the same timeline you do.  When she’s ready, she’ll do it.

Post # 56
220 posts
Helper bee

pw067 :  If I acted like a bitch to my parents then I would have to deal with the consequences so give your mother some time your dad was understanding but obviously it will take your mother some time to come around.

Post # 57
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

Your mom sounds like she is being really manipulative.  Don’t let her have the power.  You apologizd once; stop contacting her.  

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