Post # 1
My Darling Husband and I are both AD USN. He deployed in June, and less than 24 hours after he left my mom died. He’s finally set to come back soon, and I have all these weird feelings. I’m happy he’s coming home, but I can’t definitively say that I missed him. I think it’s because I’m emotionally overwhelmed right niw, and im trying to be there for my siblings; I feel like they need me more than he does right now. I feel bad, because I get irritated when he calls, it’s almost like talking to a stranger. I just feel bad for feeling the way I do, I love my husband so much, but he’s on the backburner and I feel like I’m neglecting our marriage. It’s like I’ve forgotten who we were as a couple, because so much has changed.
Post # 3
@NaijaPuertoDorian: I’m so sorry for your loss.
I wish you the best of luck and I’m sure you’ll figure things out.
I don’t think it’s that you don’t love your husband or not want to be with him. You had a big death in your family and everyone reacts differently.
So don’t beat yourself up over it.
Post # 4
@NaijaPuertoDorian: My husband is not in the military but at least once a year he’s away for several weeks (if everything works out he’ll leave for a month 2 days after we return from our honeymoon). While there are aspects about him that I miss (his cooking, cuddling at night, sex of course), I don’t generally miss him. I get into a routine. I get to stay in bed until noon on a Saturday if I want. I only have to think about what I want or what I want to do.
When he’s gone, I honestly don’t like talking on the phone much either. It’s just not the same and I’m not much of a phone person anyway.
I think once he gets home, and you both have time to adjust, things will be fine. You’ve gone through a difficult period and it will take you time for things to return to “normal”. You will likely feel completely different when you actually see him again than you are feeling now.
Post # 5
@SeaSalt: this is exactly how I am. I was never a big phone person to begin with, so I get kind of irritated regardless talking to folks on the phone, which has alot to do with a childhood stutter. The exception to that was my mom. Thanks for making me feel that im not a douchebag of a wife lol.
Thank you @oxstardust421xo:
Post # 6
You haven’t had time to miss him! You have been mourning, and trying to be there for your siblings. Our plates are only so big and yours runneth over.
Can I encourage you to call MilitaryOne Source? Some personal counseling so that you can mourn would be good, and it sounds like you guys just need to adjust fire a bit to get the marriage off the backburner.
This happens. When my brother was dying in 06 and my dad being terminally ill 07-jan 08, it happened to us. (DH is civilian, I was AD). I lived 300 miles from my family and was driving that every weekend to be with them. DH was pretty awesome, but we were definitely on the backburner.
Your Darling Husband has been deployed so he has is own busy issues and misses you. He isn’t here to see what you are going through so he may not understand right now. You aren’t a bad person at all here – you are overloaded.
Please consider calling MilitaryOne Source to help ease your burden. Best of luck to you.