(Closed) Really Who’s Wedding is it?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It is one thing to have friends and family help set-up beforehand….I am also having people help me with pre-wedding stuff on the day of.  But I would not want any friends to act like a photographer or caterer during my wedding and reception.  I want them toasting and drinking and dancing with me, not stuck behind a camera or serving spoon.

But that is just me, and every person’s wedding is different.  Meh….do whatever you want.  

Post # 5
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

To respond to one part of your post, the family friend to whom your mom offered help may not have wanted her style of catering and would rather have had a different kind of meal/wedding than what you and your mom usually put togeher.

Just as you and your mom want to help and have a certain idea of the kind of wedding you want to throw, this family friend may have wanted something different. Why would you insist that you be allowed to help when they have already made their own plans?

Post # 7
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our wedding was a very much DIY wedding, I did a lot of the work preparing but the day of, it was my fiance (now husband), friends and family. When we anounced we were getting married, so many people would say “If you guys need any help, just let me know). We asked those to help that volunterred and we had so much help that no one “worked” the wedding and didn’t enjoy it as a guest. Those that were paid to do a service was a different story.

I have a friend who loves to cater and as a wedding gift she wanted to make all the food for the wedding, we would buy the food. We felt that was to much work and settled on her doing some of the appetizers. She did a fantastic job and the food was delish!!!

Some brides and goorm have the financial resources to pay entirely for their wedding and have no need to have help from family and friends. We had a beautiful wedding for 150 people for $13,000. We did a lot of things ourselves, got great deals, bought things second hand (Craigslist, Goodwill) and friends and family volunteered time or services. We’re grateful to everyone and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Post # 10
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

The ceremony is for the couple and the reception is for the guests. It’s your wedding in the end. No one else has the right to dictate any choices made.

Post # 12
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Rock Hugger: ditto. I think I said this in her TWO other posts about this same topic…

I get that people insist on helping and sometimes you can’t say no without hurting their feelings. My problem with your multiple posts about this same topic is that you are bragging about these free services. If I were your friend who was helping you out of the kindness of my heart and I read these posts, I would not be happy with you. I may be reading your tone wrong, but you seem to be on a high horse that you are having friends pitch in for free and can pull of a wedding on a “2k” budget -it’s in quotes since you have admitted this doesn’t include some other costs like the marriage license or the groom’s attire, etc.

Post # 13
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s great that you’re doing this as well as having your friends and family help with everything.  But what I don’t understand is the fact you feel the need to justify yourself again for the 3rd time.  It’s like “Great, we get it.  It’s not slavery but just merely help from the goodness of their hearts.  Good for  you.”  Hasn’t your sentiment been express from the last 2 threads?

And again, good for you that you have such great friends and family wanting to help you from the planning up to the actual wedding.

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