(Closed) Reasonable expectations vs. Bridezilla madness

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I TOTALLY AGREE!! I hate this word. I don’t think it’s fair that we’re labeled just because we have certain expectations (not even unreasonable) and people just don’t cooperate accordingly. I think that I have done pretty good, but people think that it’s funny to call me that…I was thinking if one more person says that…I’ll show them what a Bridezilla really is!! LOL

Post # 4
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh man, I am so there.  I had a horrible hair/makeup trial over the weekend and when I told everyone about it later and they saw it they said I should have demaded my money back.  But I am non-confrontational to begin with and I didn’t want people thinking I was going bridal on them, so I let it go.  But in retrospect I should have stood up fo rmyself.

Post # 5
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know exactly what you mean!  Last night my Fiance called me a bridezilla.  Would you like to know why?  Because I’m stressed out and trying to figure out how to stretch our $4,000 (not counting my dress) budget far enough to have a honeymoon.  I’m the only person really planning anything.  He even said that I’m going to get so frustrated that I’ll say that there’s no reason to even get married!  I would never want that and as far as I can tell I’m the anti-bridezilla.  It hurt my feelings a lot but he just laughed. 

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I hate the word too!  And I hate it even more now that I find myself using the word, as in, “I’m really not trying to be a bridezilla but….”.  I do think that if you’re assertive, you can quickly find yourself mislabeled as a bridezilla.  Not really sure how to combat that though.  So far I have let things go that I know I shouldn’t, just so as not to appear too demanding, pushy, aggressive, whatever. 

Post # 7
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am a professional and expect others to behave like a professional as well – whether or not it is wedding related.  I was called a bridezilla because I wanted my Maid/Matron of Honor to get a dress from Davids Bridal, choose a pair of black heels that she already owned, and pay $40 for hair and makeup (I’m covering the rest).  Mind you, this is a girl that walks around in Louboutin heels.  Needless to say, she is no longer my Maid/Matron of Honor.

My advice:  Be mindful of who is actually calling you bridezilla… they are usually just jealous or unprofessional.

If you have crazy abnormal and expensive demands, than it’s a different story.

Post # 8
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I DISLIKE that word soooo much..my FI’s cousin who is in the bridal party, I love her, BUT whenever she is drinking she gets everyone started and will begin to call me that. Mind you i have been very diligent about handling all my wedding details myself and all the wedding party was asked to do was buy their own dress, im providing jewlery and hair/make up..but because i asked them to pick up their dresses from the store before they were shipped back..i was called a bridezilla..I am far from it, but like other posted, maybe its jealousy or just plain ignorance…I just have learned to ignore it and just walk away…

Post # 10
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is odd. The ladies on WeddingBee seem to all be really nice (at least over the internet). I worry so much about coming off as a Bridezilla when really my ideas get stomped on and I’m trying to please other people.

Post # 11
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Bad service is bad service. I don’t care if it’s when I’m out to dinner or if it’s some service for my wedding, if I encounter people who are not doing their job and meeting reasonable expectations I have zero problems saying so – it’s not demanding to ask that you receive the services you are paying for.

That said I haven’t dealt with anyone unprofessional…yet.

Post # 12
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I completely agree that the term “Bridezilla” is thrown out there way too much. 

In my opinion, if you’re questioning a binding contract that a vendor is not fulfilling that is not being bridezilla, that is making sure they are following a legal contract and that you are getting what you paid for.  I don’t understand why some vendors expect to half-ass you on services you pay for.

The only unprofessional service I dealt with was the coordinator at my venue.  My wedding coordinator got a hold of him and needless to say he hasn’t been a jerk to me since lol.<—- see, example of getting what you pay for in a wedding coordinator lol

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I will say I have learned to ‘leave it to the professionals’ a little bit. The wedding community in Philly is so small and tight-knit, they’ve been doing it forever and know what to do and don’t need to be micro managed. I started to micro-manage my florist then realized I was being a little too bossy as she was making good decisions based on what I said I wanted in the first place. So I could see how they might roll their eyes and be like “Bridezilla”but this is my 1st wedding so sorry! I want things to be perfect and can’t read your mind!

Seriously though, if carnations show up on my wedding day instead of roses and they don’t give me back 1/2 of my money heads are gonna roll.

Post # 14
Member
2858 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

I loathe the term – even before I got called it, I hated it.

I think that I’ve been pretty easy on my vendors. When I called the caterer for a proposal, he asked me what kind of food we wanted and I was like “I don’t know, something sort of eclectic, I guess?” And they came up with a KICK ASS menu. The photographer we chose was the first one we spoke to, and the florist we’ll probably hire was also the first one we spoke to. I was like “I don’t know anything about flowers, but our colors are this, this and this.” She came back with an appropriate and affordable proposal.

Sure, there are some crazy women who demand that their bridesmaids lose 20 pounds, get Botox, etc. But I find that most women who get called Bridezilla are just brides who have strong opinions and want things the way that they want them. We are spending THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS on one stinkin’ day. Of course we want it to be perfect!

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

haha….I completely agree!! I am already getting comments about my behavior which is totally reasonable. here’s why: I asked my dad to put into our reception venue contract that we had use of the garden area during cocktail hour with tables…hello??? i’ve hear way too many times if its not in writing, it doesn’t matter. I’m also being called out because I’ve asked my parents to get me a list of people (family and friends) they want to invite. again, HELLO??? don’t we need to know how many people we are planning on inviting before we start looking at other things?? I don’t get it…

 

Post # 16
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Great post.  I’ve only been called bridezilla by my sisters, and it really hurt!  From my point of view, they called me that in response to me being excited about my upcoming wedding.  I mean, if I can’t talk about the details to my family, then what am I supposed to do?  I really think it just came out of jealousy though (it took me a long time to realize that, I never think people are jealous of me.)

 

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