Reasons for quitting job- feeling like a failure.

posted 6 months ago in Career
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    1020 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2020

    Don’t feel bad Bee! Work life balance is extremely important for your mental health. The job that you are quitting sounds unsustainable. No one would blame you for leaving it for one with shorter hours and more pay. 

    Post # 3
    1097 posts
    Bumble bee

    You’re not unreasonable! Your job sounds terrible. Lack luster pay, long shifts, only a 30 minute break in 11 hours (is that even legal?) unpaid training, shitty insurance, minimal PTO….. I would leave too! 

    Honestly I don’t blame you at all. Especially because you’ve already found another job. Sounds like there are zero redeeming qualities for the job you’re about to leave.

    It is so easy to get burned out in healthcare. And sadly, many of these companies don’t care at all about their employees, which is ironic, because we preach to patients how important it is to take care of ourselves, and yet we the staff are running ragged for long grueling shifts with no lunch break many times, holding in our pee for hours on end, busting our backs for others, overexerting ourselves, etc. You need to put yourself first.

    I hope your next job is much better! otterbee :  

    Post # 4
    855 posts
    Busy bee

    otterbee :  You need work/life balance. How could you possibly provide the best care for patients if you’re mentally and physically exhausted all the time? We all move on and up in our careers. This is your move. And you’ll eventually move on to something even better after the new job. 

    Post # 5
    325 posts
    Helper bee

    otterbee :  Bee!!! Congratulations for taking hold of your life and finding a solution to move forward from a miserable situation! You are the opposite of a failure, you at an inspiration to many who find themselves in a similar grind!! Sure, some people do the 4/11 shifts and love them, but we’re not all made for those kind of hours – and it’s not a failure to realize that this isn’t something you want.

    Celebrate your strength in acknowledging that it was not working; celebrate that you have a supportive partner and the freedom to move on to your new role. And guess what?! If it sucks, you can make another move!!


    Post # 6
    922 posts
    Busy bee

    You haven’t failed! Failure is staying with something that isn’t working for you. It sounds like you’re thriving- you know what you want & you found a job that does it for you. 


    I’m a good decade ahead of you into the work world and can promise you almost everyone – at some point – takes a job they think they think they’ll love and it turns out to be a complete dud.  I once worked somewhere for less than 100 days; it was horribly wrong for me but I couldn’t see that until I worked there.  That stint was bookended by 4 years at one company and 8+ at the next (still there). 

    Post # 7
    6155 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Congratulations on your new job! The circumstances of the old job sucked. Given a choice, I would never work like that. One 30 minute break in the middle of 11 hours of work isn’t even legal (depending on where you are) – in my state (CA) employees are required one 10 minute break for every 4 hours of work and then at least 30 minutes if they’re working at least 5 hours in a day. I looked it up and (if you’re in CA) you should have been getting at least four uninterrupted breaks in an 11 hour work day. Many studies show that employees are productive for about 5 to 6 hours of a 9 hour work day (if even that much). If you were working 2 hours more with fewer breaks, of course your quality of work is going to be in the crapper for the last 3-4 hours. We are not robots and we aren’t built to just go go go like that.

    When giving your notice or during your exit interview, I would let them know how unsustainable their schedule is (just to try to make a difference for those who aren’t leaving) and also probably check the labor laws in your state. You may be entitled to some back pay. My mother worked for a company that wasn’t properly accounting for employees’ time and overtime and they ended up having to retroactively pay out a significant back pay to everyone impacted because someone reported them.

    Don’t feel badly for taking care of yourself. That was wise of you and hopefully you will feel much better at your new job!

    Post # 9
    1097 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes there will be negatives with every job.

    *But bee- with the job you’re leaving EVERYTHING IS A NEGATIVE! I haven’t read even ONE GOOD THING about that place! 

    That is the difference here. There should be a trade off- maybe your new job has less pay, but the time off could be excellent or the benefits are better and u will actually get legitimate breaks and u will have a much better balance.

    Do u see what I’m saying? You were selling yourself short and needlessly overworking yourself and martyring yourself to a place that doesn’t treat employees well AT ALL.

    There’s a huge difference between pros and cons of a new job and all the many cons and cons and cons and ZERO pros of the job you had

    It’s pretty obvious you are not the problem here. You are not expecting a perfect job- you just want the bare minimum of what a job should provide- adequate breaks, paid training etc. You are not being unreasonable 

    Even though your next job won’t be perfect and there will be negatives about it, I’d be willing to bet it will be an upgrade from your current workplace

    Don’t underestimate the importance of work and life balance. It could add years to your life otterbee :  

    Post # 10
    86 posts
    Worker bee

    I used to work in healthcare. I was pretty much on-call 24/7 including my weekends and holidays even though it was not originally supposed to be that way. I never took a sick day, it was looked down on if you did. Obviously, it was only a few years before I burned out completely. I ended up changing professions because it was not possible to find a better job at the time in my area. I’m happy as a clam now that I have my life back. You need to find the right work-life balance. No job is worth giving up your entire life for. There is more to you than your career. Part of growing up and being an adult is learning how to stick up for yourself and making the right decisions to protect your health. It’s not like you quit without a plan so it was definitely not a childish decision!

    Post # 11
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2020

    Hey, working in healthcare is tough and what you described is not sustainable!  Good for you for seeking out another oppotunity that will give you work-life balance.  You can’t take care of others if you yourself aren’t taken care of.

    I’m work in mental health and my first job out of grad school was one I loved but it was super low paying (of course this is true in so many jobs that help people), long hours, took home work, on-call hours, etc.  I did that for about 6 years and knew I couldn’t continue like that.  I still work in mental health and love what I do helping people, but now I make a lot more money, have work-life balance, get to leave my work at work, and have great benefits.  I did feel guilty for leaving my first job, but you really do need to take care of yourself.

    Post # 13
    2923 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Listen, your bosses aren’t looking out for you.  The only one that is, is YOU.  You totally need to take care of yourself first.

    My husband, dad, sister and Brother-In-Law all work in health care (and I had grandparents that did as well).  There’s a reason I don’t.  It’s a tough field, one where I think it takes a special kind of person.  For a long time I felt like a failure myself because I chose not to go into health care; I felt like I was disappointing my dad but he fortunately assured me he was proud of me no matter what career I chose.

    My husband works in the ED and generally can leave his work at work but there are days where he comes home completely drained.  He works close to 60 hours a week (rarely leaves on time because of all the documentation he has to do) and recently his hospital tried to impose that they were going to add an extra hour to each of their days.  Fortunately his coworkers all fought it and his bosses backed down.  He said many times those that are making the decisions don’t work in the “trenches”, or they did so long ago that they’re completely out of touch with what the reality is now.  Health care especially is a field that is constantly changing, and like so many fields you’re expected to do more with less staff, less resources, etc.  And there comes a point where, like my husband did, you need to stand up for yourself and say no.  In your case, your saying “no” was finding another job.  You did the right thing.

    From what you described, your job wasn’t sustainable.  Burnout is going to happen for the next person in that position too.  I totally get comparing yourself to others that have it “harder”.  I do that with my sister all the time.  She’s super woman and I feel so inadequate sometimes.  But then I try to take an objective look and tell myself I’m not her and I never will be.  I have to be true to myself and my strengths.  She has a lot of help and she’s able to make it look easy because of that.  You also don’t know what happens behind closed doors.  These people that look like they’re handling everything gracefully either have a ton of help, or they’re *this close* to cracking and aren’t letting that on.

    Fortunately, from what my friends that work in other industries tell me, there are companies that are finally moving toward finding a better work-home balance.  I think health care is behind in that area, and you do have to be realistic that no job is perfect.  There ARE going to be things that aren’t pleasant to deal with at any job you take and realize that going in.  But I think in your case you did the right thing in finding another job.

    Post # 14
    1251 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I don’t think it’s fair to say that these people are dealing with it better or toughing it out better. People get energy from different things, so for all you know, your colleagues don’t feel like this job is as big a struggle as you do.Alternatively, people may look at you and tihnk you’re handling this so much better then they are – because it sounds like you’re suffering in silence so to them they’ll only see the competent pulled together professional.

    My job is DEMANDING – clients are demanding, hours are long, setting work/life boundaries is very hard, time lines are short, stakes are relatively high. Some people thrive in this job and other people totally burn out. It doesn’t really correlate to skill or competency, it mostly correlates to whether people get enjoyment/satisfaction from the work they produce sufficiently to outweigh some of the negatives of the job.

    Some people actually get energy from the high stakes, fast pace, and stressful environment – it’s a thrill for them. For others, it’s a constant drain. Personally, I struggle with the work/life balance in this job and find that the over-emhasis on work in my life is a slow drain. I know I won’t last in this job as a career, so I’m getting what I can out of it for now until I hit my limit and need to move on.

    So it’s not about one person being tougher then the other, it’s about the experience affecting people differently. You’re not a failure, this job just isn’t the right match with your sources of energy, self-worth, and satisfaction. Hopefully your new job suits you better!

    Post # 15
    92 posts
    Worker bee

    Your work conditions and benefits sound not worth it! Never be afraid to look for better opportunities for yourself.

    My job has its horrible qualities but the workers stay 20+ years because we have excellent benefits. 

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