Post # 1
My bachelorette party isn’t until the last weekend of next month, but some of my bridesmaids are saying they can’t come. Here are a few of their reasons:
-she thinks it costs too much money (although she is going to concerts and snowboarding trips, which means my party isn’t a priority. It’s fine, I get it.)
-she can’t take unpaid days off work (although she works a M-F job, and my bachelorette party is from Friday night through Sunday morning.)
-she is flying into town when her husband can, which is a few days after the bachelorette party (I understand.)
-she makes the most money at her job on the weekends, so she doesn’t want to request those days off (I understand.)
….I totally get it. I’m just hurt. My bridesmaids have known about these plans for a year! I’m starting to feel like this isn’t important to them. 🙁
Were any of your bridesmaids absent at your bachelorette party?
Post # 4
I understand a couple of these reasons. I am in an upcoming wedding of a friends and I really can’t afford to do all the activities, events, dinner, brunch, etc. that they all want to do. And I can’t just sit there and eat bread and water while they all eat their $60 meals.
I also understand not being able to take off work. I work 7 days a week and obviously (from above) can’t afford to take a day off.
Don’t take it personally. As long as they’ve been a part of your shower, engagement party, and will be there the day of to love and support you is all that matters!
Post # 5
@KateByDesign: I understand their reasoning too. But I’m not having a bridal shower or engagement party….so their only obligations were the bachelorette party and standing with me on my big day! I even paid for their bridesmaid dresses….
Post # 6
I haven’t had mine yet, but I am 90% sure two of them won’t be there. One is out of town, and the other doesn’t seem to give a crap about me. (She never shows up for anything and doesn’t return my calls). How many people will end up coming to your bachlorette if those people don’t make it?
I’m even wondering I will even bother. My Maid/Matron of Honor has already said she wants to plan one, but what’s the point if no one comes? I totally get that it can be discouraging. My advice would be to try and forget about them and have the most fun you can. Sorry it’s not very helpful.
Post # 7
Well, I can’t really relate since I didn’t have a bachelorette party….but have they been to lots of wedding events already, or are spending considerable time and money travelling to the wedding? It sometimes seems like in recent years weddings and pre-wedding events/expectations have just exploded in general and that very quickly leads to disappointed brides and hurt feelings when loved ones don’t always see these events as important or critical and they feel a lot of pressure to “perform” rather than enjoy. Obviously this isn’t directed at you specifically, it’s just a general observation of lots of posts I see.
I know it seems sucky, and for sure it can be seen as a bit hurtful, but perhaps there’s a deeper explanation as to why each person needs to prioritize this event as compared to the “big picture” of the wedding. Does that make sense?
Sorry your feelings are hurt by this.
Post # 8
Two of mine didn’t make it because of money (one had to fly from london and the other has a baby) and I still had a blast. The truth is a bachelorette party isn’t as important as keeping your job/paying your bills.
Post # 9
@ChampagneBlushWedding: Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. That is a bummer then. ;(
Post # 10
@Stressed_Bride15: So far, it’s just me and the bridesmaid that is planning the bachelorette party that are confirmed. 🙁
Post # 11
Yes… they were! My Maid/Matron of Honor took me to Vegas, by ourselves, and my sister took me to Glen Ivy. My three other bridesmaids did not do anything.
Post # 12
@mrshunnybunches: How did you feel about the 3 bridesmaids that did not do anything? Did they go to any of your other events?
Post # 13
Honestly, I understand all of the reasons. It’s really unfortunate, but they’re all legitimate reasons. No one said, “I tihnk I’ll be sick that weekend” or waited until the last second to flake. You can’t judge people for being concerned about their finances.
Is there any way you can change the plans and have a fun spa day or something prior to the wedding when they’re all in town?
Post # 14
@ChampagneBlushWedding: That’s too bad….I know how much it hurts to find out that in the realm of your friend’s priorities, you are not one…..BUT, just because your BM’s can’t get it together does not detract from the fun the evening will be! I wouldn’t want someone dragging themselves to a fun night on the town, then pleading poverty the whole night through…talk about a party pooper!
You get yourself a new outfit, and that includes shoes, get all done up and have some fun with the people that are interested and invested in YOU!
Post # 15
@abbie017: I understand the reasons too….I am just really bummed out. We told everyone the plan a year in advance so they can save and plan for it. It’s not like they had to buy their bridesmaid dress, I paid for that. Their only obligations as my bridesmaid are the bachelorette party and standing by my side on the big day. I’m just feeling hurt.
Post # 16
@ChampagneBlushWedding: It’s a bummer she can’t make it, but all of her reasons are legit. I definitely wouldn’t take it personally. Even though she knew about it for a year, that doesn’t mean she can still afford to take the extra time off. Don’t worry, you’ll still have fun at your bacherlorette!