Post # 17
@pineapple23: The reason people give to have children are often absurd!
Also I don’t get why people need to convince you to have kids, I mean are they going to raise them? Because if so can they raise mine too?? 😉
I find the reasons given that children keep together and not having children is boring totally absurd not to mention so backwards! Most studies show that marital satisfaction drops after the birth of the first child. I’m not saying that couples who have children are unhappy but it’s undeniable that child rearing is stressful for a relationship.
Post # 18
A lot of these sound so familiar, I once had a friend beg, like seriously beg my Fiance and I to have kids so she could see what they’d look like…wth?? Thats a pretty lousy reason to have kids!
Post # 19
I get, “You two will get bored of eachother” a lot.
Post # 20
My Husband and I have been married for a little over 1 year now and we aren’t planning on having any children at all so I totally understand the pressure. It seems like people with a certain viewpoint just don’t understand when someone thinks differently than them about an important life decision such as having children. Just the other day, one of my Husband’s coworkers started questioning him on when we’re going to have children. He gave the “purpose of getting married is to have kids” reason. It really is annoying when people get that way, but in the end you can feel however you want to and nobody can change that.
Post # 21
My fi and I aren’t having kids, the questions really haven’t started bothering me. I am damn proud to be cbc. “What are you going to do with your life if you don’t have kids?” Enjoy it!
Post # 22
I don’t want to have children, so I have heard a few of these along with “what are you doing to do when you are older and don’t have anyone to take care of you?”
But what really irks me is when I tell someone that I don’t want to have kids and they say “accidents happen!” I get this response ALOT…
Post # 23
My family understands, but everyone in my FH’s family looks at me like I have “baby-maker” tattooed on my forehead. It’s like I’m good for nothing else. Never mind that their boy has found someone who makes him happy and to spend the rest of his life with-never mind that we’re going to have a beautiful and exciting wedding day, when are the babies coming?
And when I tell them we’re going to take our time and enjoy ourselves they go, “But don’t you want kids?” …Um…What part of that said that I don’t want kids?? “Because you know your FH wants children right?” ….You know what, he never mentioned it. This probably won’t work-we’d better call it off. OF COURSE I KNOW!! AND OF COURSE I WANT KIDS! But I’m going to do it in my OWN. SWEET. TIME!!
I’m only 23. And we’re not even married yet. We’re buying a house, I’m finishing grad school and he just bought a truck (which we’re all paying for ourselves.) Yes. We have plenty of money to spend on diapers and formula right now! Who needs a sense of responsibility to have kids…just do it and don’t worry about it!!
Post # 24
@AnnieAAA: I get that from my grandma all the time “Accidents Happen! Then what?”
We are CBC, so if an accident happened we probably wouldn’t keep it… do you really what to hear that answer? Didn’t think so.
I love when they say “What will you do when all your friends have babies and you are left out?” Oh, I’m sorry, let me just procreate to go along with the crowd. My hubby and I will be living large and travelling the world while our friends are worried about puke and excellent school districts.
“You’re so selfish, you’d be great parents” Yes, we would make great parents when that’s the last thing we want to do. Everyone does a great job when they hate what they are doing. That kid would have no idea we think it was a mistake to have him.
Post # 25
My parents want grandchildren closer to them. My brother and SIL just had a baby, but live in Texas (we’re all in MI). Nevermind that they’re packing up their house to move further west and further up north so they won’t be a couple hours’ drive away, more like 4. But I can quit working and stay home! And I can drop the kids off for a week at Grandma and Grandpa’s! And my In-Laws will be bored if they retire and move back to the States. They need some grandchildren to play with.
None of which helps me with… BIRTHING OR RAISING A BABY.
Post # 26
We’re not married yet, but we’re not going to have kids, and i’m really not looking forward to all this in the future. I did have a guy very ernestly tell me why he recommends we have kids. It was harmless, but it also pissed me off a bit. He doesn’t know me, he has no idea why we’ve made our decision! And no right to give me a hard time about it!
Post # 27
We’re married. I have two stepsons. One of my friends had a baby last year and is now pressuring me to have one. She recently listed a couple of my upcoming projects followed by “…and then baby time?” as though once I get these projects of my system I’ll be sufficiently fulfilled in my career to have a baby afterwards. Not necessarily. I love my stepsons, but they’re a handful and I’m not sure adding to our plate is really the right decision.
Post # 28
The best tip to get everyone to BACK OFF is to tell a little white lie and say you aren’t able to have children….believe me it works. All of a sudden the subject becomes uncomfortable and avoided 😉 And when the day comes that you are both ready to have kids “it’s a miracle baby!”
Post # 29
1. You and your spouse will fall out of love eventually if you don’t have kids to bind you together
Wow. Just, wow.
I’m 35 and pregnant with my first child. The timing is right, perfect for me. Luckily I wasn’t getting any pressure (never was) since I’d switched teams back in ’08 and started dating a woman… haha
Post # 30
@swissbride: LOVE THIS! lol!
Post # 31
“So, you want a dog but not a kid! That doesn’t make any sense.”
lololol at this one. Dogs and kids are NOT the same thing… I am happily taking care of a bunny and a dog right now but would freak if a baby was suddenly dropped into the mix. And I WANT kids. Just, you know, not right this second.
Fortunately the only person who has pressured me yet is my grandmother, and I’m well used to that since she’s been harping on about it since I was about 16. And now that the wedding is nearing, my fiance is all “omg, we should start trying for babies NOW!” and it’s like, dude, dude, that’s two years ahead of schedule, let’s deal with one major life event at a time.