(Closed) Reasons people give to convince you to have babies

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

@swissbride:  Ouch. Can’t you just tell the truth instead of blatantly lying, when so many women do struggle to conceive and would love nothing more than to have a baby of their own?

 

Post # 33
Member
4517 posts
Honey bee

My husband and I have got these reasons:

1. The house will be quiet and lonely. Yes just how we like it! I don’t want screaming infants, clattering toys, and running on my hardwood floors booming through my house. I’ve mentioned this as well “the only thing better then a child’s laughter is the silence of NOT having any kids.”

2. Children make your life much more rewarding. Sorry but no. I strongly dislike all children and having one would make us miserable.


3. But I’ll never be a grandma.. Aww darn. I’m sure there are worse things that could happen to you in life.



My husband and I are CBC. No babies, not ever. Just the way we like it.

Post # 34
Member
5528 posts
Bee Keeper

We’re childfree, and since being ‘out’ have heard pretty much everything, from ‘it will be different when it’s your own’, to ‘it’s unnatural not to have children’, to ‘children are the cement in a relationship’. All of these are incredibly dumb and ignorant, not to mention incorrect (plenty of people don’t find it ‘different with their own’ and actually regret having children; most people are less happy with their partners after having children; etc); but my favourite has to be what my OH’s friend said to me the other week:

‘You’re intelligent and well-educated and have a duty to procreate. People like me [he has a 5 month old baby] shouldn’t have children; people like you should’.

Yeah, maybe you should have thought about that before having a kid.. And no, it is not my ‘duty’ to have a child; I can and will do whatever the hell I want with my reproductive organs thanks, and for me, that doesn’t involve procreation.

Post # 35
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

DH and I are struggling on the baby topic.  I don’t think I want kids, his son lives with us full time with no visitation to his bio mother and I actually find ZERO joy in parenting.  Like less than none.  EVERYONE says my feelings will change but I’m afraid they won’t.  DH wants more babies, like yestrerday.  We are getting lots of these above comments, I;m now 33, he’s 32.  It sucks.  I think I might be too selfish to have kids and he’s all about a big noisy messy house wchich drives me nuts.  I like quiet.  I like independence, I like easy, lets pack up and go trips.  Kids offer none of that.  Maybe I’m just bitter at having to become a full time mom when I didn’t want to but so far not one reason for getting pregnant has been good enough for me lol!

Post # 36
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

My sister tells me she wants a niece and it’s not fair that I have so many (I have 8 between my 2 bros and sis) and that she only gets to have 3 and they live far away….um, all not my problem. I don’t want kids, I have been around them my whole life & probably know more than some moms even but that definitely does not mean I’m having a child. That’s actually a good reason why I don’t want them lol

Post # 37
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Some of my favorites are:

  • Why get married if you’re not going to have kids?

 

  • Why would you deprive your parents of grandchildren? For the record, they already have grandchildren.

 

  • You won’t be a real family if you don’t have children.

 

  • Your marriage will suffer if you don’t have kids.

 

  • You need someone to take care of you when you’re old.

 

  • Who will you leave all of your property to when you die? Morbid much? 

 

  • But I want you to carry on the family name. This one comes from Future Father-In-Law who has grandchildren, but seems to think that we can choose to have boys to carry on the name.

 

  • You’ll be lonely.

 

  • Your life will be boring. 

 

  • It’s so much fun!

 

  • It will solidify your relationship. Most of the people I know that have kids have crappy relationships now that they have children. 

 

  • You’re supposed to want/have children.

And those are just the ones I remember. FH and I are 22 and 23, and we are CBC. It’s always a pain in the ass having to listen to people go off on a tangent about how wonderful kids are or how much my life is going to suck if we don’t procreate. I’ve been child free for 22 years now and my life is pretty awesome.

Post # 38
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Who else is going to come see you in your nursing home?  Or on your deathbead?   That was followed up by my great aunt, who has passed away, telling us all that she was a huge burden on her great niece/nephews because she should have her own family to take care of her when she got lukemia.

Post # 39
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I got one yesterday…my SS is having some major behavioural issues and is in process for testing for disabilities/ADHD.  I was told that if we had another baby his behaviour would improve. 

Post # 40
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

OMG some of these are really horrible reasons!

I have heard:

“You aren’t getting any younger”
(Thanks mom for reminding me!)

“Babies were born in far worse conditions”
(Another gem from my mom when I said DH and I needed to finish fixing up our house before a baby comes)

“If you only have one he or she will be weird”
(Comment from a friend when I mentioned we will probably be a 1 and done household. She has 3 kids, her house is a complete dirty disaster, she is constantly stressed out, and has threatened to leave her husband on numerous occassions).

Post # 41
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

“You’ll change your mind.  They’re different when they’re yours.”  <— Maybe so, but DH & I are CBC & won’t be giving ourselves that ‘opportunity.’

Post # 42
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

“If you wait till it’s the right time, you’ll never have one!” I get that all the time cause we’re trying to be more financially stable before we start parenting. Ugh.

Post # 44
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Future Mother-In-Law said to my Fiance yesterday, “You need to have them now since college tuition is climbing.”

 

Which is technically true, but no where close ready to have them. We’ll make our kids get scholarships lol

Post # 45
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We have one child and are in NO hurry for a second, but even when our daughter was less than a month old people started with the “So, when are you planning the next one?” Umm, still working on this one thanks! And my Mother-In-Law is CONSTANTLY telling us we need to start on the next one, you don’t want too much of a gap, they won’t get along if you have more than two years between, get all the hard work over in one go etc etc. Drives me insane! We’re not against having a second one but our daughter is only 15 months and people act like we’re cruel for not giving her a sibling yet. I know two mums from my birth classes whose babies have just turned one and they’re due for the second in the coming weeks, personally I would be terrified!

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