Reasons that you didn't want any kids?

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Canada

I’m on the fence about kids at 35… honestly I just don’t think I have the energy to care for a child.  I also need a lot of “me time and get overwhelmed and stressed easily.  I’ve never felt a maternal urge.

Post # 3
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2020

Fiance and I love our life as it is. We feel like our lifestyle would only be ruined with a kid. We wouldn’t be able to travel months at a time like we do now, or spend time with just each other, and not to mention how expensive it is to have a child. Also, we both find kids really annoying. Always screaming or crying, and sticky, and needy. We don’t need any of that in our life. We will probably have dogs eventually. We love dogs.

Post # 4
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I have never felt any maternal need to have kids. I have 2 cats and a dog, that’s enough for me and I love them dearly. Kids are expensive, and way more work than I would want. I like my life how it is now and I have no desire to change it. 

Post # 5
Member
2473 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I want one now but the reasons I didn’t, and I’m still worried about now, is having ro care for someone else 24/7, no sleep, expensive, and the world can be a really cruel place to subject another person to. Also you can do your best but there’s no guarantee of how they will turn out. 

Post # 6
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I go back and forth. Right now I want nothing to do with having children. I’ve been working with kids for over 10 years and I’m burnt out. I can’t imagine having to deal with the constant neediness 24/7. Children are physically and emotionally draining. You have no privacy or freedom. Jokes may be about spouses, but the real ball and chain is a kid. The thought of never being able to get a mental break really stresses me out.

Post # 7
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

Bc I’ve met other people’s kids.  

Ok, so maybe they have their moments, but those moments don’t make up for the constant care, annoyance, energy, time and money suck that comes with having kids.  Life is great the way it is… travel, luxuries, hobbies, time for ourselves, early retirement… why mess that up?  🤷🏻‍♀️

Post # 8
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I just never had a burning desire to be a mother. That maternal feeling skipped me. Some people definitively want kids and I have no idea what that feels like. I don’t hate kids, but I don’t really like being around them. I have a great life and I don’t feel like I need to add kids to it.

By The Way I’m in my 40’s now and I still don’t regret being child free.

Post # 10
Member
1196 posts
Bumble bee

We have no issues with people who want kids. But sometimes it is annoying when people keep asking why we don’t have any and look at us like something is wrong with us not to want them. 

We think society brain washed us to believe the end goal is family and kids. When we really think about it, we like not having to deal with the respoinsibilities of raising children. It takes a lot and you have to give up a lot. And for what? What is the point? Just because people say so and expect us to? The only real reason is so we can have some one to take care of us when we’re old, but that’s kind of a selfish reason. There are enough people in this world, we don’t need anymore. I also don’t need a physical human to remind me what “our love created”. We have dogs and that’s enough responsibilities as it is. We can’t leave town without finding someoen to watch them and we also can’t leave the house for longer than a certain set of time. 

We also like having money and without worrying about other mouths to feed if we ever lose our jobs or something bad happen in life. 

 

Post # 11
Member
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

For us personally, it’s basically because we want to be “selfish” with our lives. Doing what we want, when we want, not worrying about money, not worrying about a whole human life lol. That’s pretty much it! Just want to live our own lives to the fullest and for us that doesn’t involve raising children. Plus the money thing is huge as well. Kids are expensive and you have them until you’re dead really… not just 18! Haha

Post # 12
Member
277 posts
Helper bee

SO and I are choosing to not have children because we like our lives the way they are. We like to have money for luxuries, eating out, traveling, etc. We also don’t feel the maternal/paternal draw to have children either.

 

Post # 13
Member
1411 posts
Bumble bee

There are a few different reasons.

The ones we share are that we like our lifestyle and kids would make it impossible and that caring for a human being and making sure they are provided all the tools necessary to live a satisfying, fulfilling, and successful life is a lot of work that we are not willing to do. We also agree tht we wouldn’t have the patience to teach someone to wipe their butt or use a fork. Nor would we be willing to deal with yelling and mess and temper tantrums. Additionally, the world is a crappy place and we don’t really want to bring a new human into that.

My own personal reason is that I really really really really really do not want to ever be pregnant. It creeps me the fuck out.

And the fact that I don’t think I’d be able or willing to properly raise a child means adoption is out of the question as well.

Post # 14
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

I love my body. I love my sleep. I love my money.

Post # 15
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We really like being able to do what we want when we want, we are doing well in our career paths and don’t feel like interrupting that, and for me personally I just do not feel like having my entire life re-worked to focus on another person other than myself and my husband. It took me a looooong time to figure out how to take care of *me* to begin with, I’ve spent enough of my life so far putting others first, now it’s my turn. 

We may change our minds, since we thought we wanted kids when we met in our late teens, but now in our early 30’s we are in the CFBC camp. 

 

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