Reasons that you didn't want any kids?

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

ohana33 :  I just always knew, from the age of 9, that I didn’t want, and wouldn’t be having children.

I hated dolls as a child (except Barbie) and if I’ve ever had any sort of maternal instinct, it’s always been directed at cats rather than humans.  

As an adult, I’ve been able to be more exact in my reasons why, and they are exactly the same as yours.  I dislike dogs for their neediness, and to me, children would be on a level that far surpasses that.  I’m also bipolar, and space and quiet are vital to my mental health…and from what I’ve witnessed, both of those are non-existant if you have children. 

Neither of my parents wanted children…I’m only here because my mother is a practicing Catholic.  I’m nearly 50 and to this day she’s still resentful of how having children ‘held her back’.  My father gave up being any sort of a father when I was 10.  Myself and my two brothers weren’t abused, we weren’t starved…but that was the best I can say.  We weren’t loved, either.  Tolerated, at best. So I’ve seen firsthand what happens when someone who knows that they don’t want children does it anyway. 

 

Post # 62
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

1. I’m terrified of hospitals.

2. I also need a lot of me time to recharge.

3. I hate the idea of choosing career or kids.

4. I have a passion for breaking stereotypes. I don’t believe I need children to have a happy, successful life.

5. I’d rather rescue and care for 10 dogs all day. 

6. Kids do gross things (so do dogs, but I can handle dogs better for some reason).

7. If I change my mind in the future, I’ll just adopt. There are a lot of children who need homes. 

8. They cost a lot of money, and I don’t believe that is being selfish. If I don’t want to use my income towards bringing another human into the world, then I don’t have to. There are plenty of unselfish ways to use your income that don’t include having children: donations, starting a nonprofit, buying tools for volunteer work, etc.

Wow I listed more reasons than I thought I would. And don’t get me wrong, I love social work and would advocate for any child any day. I just don’t want to raise my own. 

Post # 63
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not willing to sacrifice my identity to motherhood. 

Post # 64
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I have two kids, in college and yes I love them to bits……HOWEVER…..I am often a bit envious of double income no kids couples, or never married female friends.  To take off, for the most part, wherever you want?  AWESOME!!  My hubby has an old girlfriend on a teacher schedule and she takes off every summer to wherever!!!  HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?  

 

Post # 65
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

I don’t want kids because it will never be about my partner and me again. That may sound selfish but my partner is my refuge and I can’t imagine our relationship centering around another human being. I know a lot of parents who see their spouse as someone to split the duties of raising a child with.. not a best friend and lover, but like a coworker. I’m sorry I know this is kind of harsh but I have always felt this way even before I met my fiancé! 

Post # 66
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I never had the desire to have kids. I assumed at some point that the maternal thing would kick in, but it never happened. What I really wanted to keep, was my choice. I liked having the option to have kids, but I realized that either way, at some point, I’m going to lose having the choice, so I’d better choose wisely.

Post # 68
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

hispanicimpressions :  Exactly this. There are so many reasons I could give, but really it’s because I don’t want to have any.

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