(Closed) Reasons Why People Don't RSVP

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

1. They forget

2. They lose the invite

3. They procrastinate, and are then embarrassed to tell you

4. They have somewhere else they’d rather be, and don’t want to tell you

5. They are holding out, waiting to see if they have somewhere better to be (I had someone tell me this TO MY FACE when I asked about their rsvp!)

6. They are hoping to find a +1, even though they don’t have one right now, and even though they have a group of friends coming to your wedding they wil know (Had someone else tell me this, too)

7. They think they’ve already sent it

8. Their invite got lost in the mail (or they lost it, and claim it did, who knows?)

Post # 4
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MsBlackberry:  +1 and I also have to add I had a job that will just throw mandatory OT on the weekends a week before! I didn’t know if I was going to SIL’s wedding until a week before but the way she had her RSVP setup was only call if you weren’t going to make it. She was only having light apps and drinks, something small anyways.

Post # 5
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I ran into a lot of friends who said they were coming early on, but then had stuff come up ( all out of town and military friends) who were sad they couldn’t come and put off telling me to protect my feelings. By that point though, i was bummed but not devastated, and understood. 

Post # 6
2351 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

They just don’t care enough or respect u enough to send it back.

Post # 7
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MsBlackberry:  +1 especially to #5. I think a lot of people hold off becuase even a month in advance is too soon for them to decide.

I usually know right away when I get the invite whether or not I can or want to go.

Post # 8
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

BOTH entire extended families decided they didn’t need to RSVP, because clearly I should have somehow magically guessed they were all able to attend.

Post # 9
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Most of my guests who haven’t sent one in offer no excuse, or say they keep forgetting.

It’s soo frustrating! 

Post # 10
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This drove me insane – it couldnt be any easier to RSVP to a wedding.  People just dont think of the hassel and deadlines. And some people dont like making commitments.

Post # 11
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We always send back RSVPs… except the one time when they didn’t provide a stamp.  I didn’t have any stamps, so I intended to stop by the post office every day at lunch and every day I forgot.  One day, I realized it was due THAT day so I sent an e-mail to the bride to let her know we were coming and was honest that I literally could NOT remember to go an buy a stamp.  

Post # 12
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ajillity81:  Uh. This would/will drive me bonkers. 

Is one of the reasons that some people think that you know they will be coming? Because I know a couple that had this happen to them. Some family member went up to the bride after she asked  them and said “Oh…my RSVP is required? You actually had doubts that I wouldn’t come??”….*crickets* Don’t you wish you could read people’s minds?? 


Post # 13
6114 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I figured the most popular reason is because people procrastinate. So they either wait until the due date to actually send it (as opposed to sending it in enough time for it to get to you before the due date) or they end up forgetting because it’s thrown in a corner somewhere.

Post # 14
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ajillity81:  I hear ya! It’s so annoying! At first our RSVP’s trickled in slowly but then the 2 weeks before the deadline they started pouring in. We did have to reach out to a handful of people numerous times which wasn’t fun. Why should the host contact the guest when you were sent a STD months prior and a formal invitation with a pre-paid stamp … I just don’t get it. 


Post # 15
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I have heard from a lot of people about an upcoming cousin’s wedding that they figured a verbal RSVP to the MOB was good enough…one family member actually got upset about the MOB being “too demanding and mean” just because she kept telling them to mail back the card!


Post # 16
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

  • They lose the invitation
  • They don’t want to come but don’t want to tell you
  • They aren’t sure if they’re able to yet

For a lot of the weddings I’ve been invited to, I wasn’t sure what my school/work (when I was employed) schedule was going to be like. I always tried to contact the bride/groom and let them know what was going on before the RSVP deadline. 

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