Post # 1
I got out of a majorly toxic, painful, emotionally abusive relationship with someone who turned out to also be emotionally cheating on me. I feel like I did dodge a bullet, but would like some reasurance from anyone here if you dont mind. Here are the red flags:
– he fluctuated between saying he loved me and saying he didnt
– he talked to other girls lots and would hide this from me until I would find out somehow. He promised he would stop but then didnt
– he used to insult me about how I was before I was with him, and bring it up a lot. I cried many times because of this
– he would say to me after doing anything bad on his side that he ‘knew I wouldnt leave him whatever he did’
– used to go out clubbing without me knowing
– used to hang out and nurtured another relationship behind my back, all whilst talking about marriage to me
– told me he wanted to talk to more girls as friends before settling down with me
– would ignore me for days if i brought up something i didnt like that he did
– would blame me for being overdramatic if i brought anything bad up or wanted to talk about us
– led me on whilst he emotionally cheated on me with another girl
– he threatened to break up with me if i didnt agree to some of his conditions eg. speaking to other girls
– he made me do thngs physically and emotionally which went against my beliefs because he would get angry or passive with me if i didnt
– insulted me majorly after the breakup and moved on extremely quickly because the girl was waiting for him. Never talked since.
I did breakup with him first because the pain was too much, and he agreed. I asked for him back though which I really regret.
i miss him a lot now, even though I know so many guys now who are way better than him and would treat girls like a queen. I dont know why Im so hung up over this one relationship. someone help!
Post # 2
You did the right thing and deep down you already know it.
Post # 3
Oh girl…DEFINITELY, hands down, 1000000% the right choice!!!
Post # 5
You completely dodged a bullet leaving that one. Leave him to his many other girls, and find a man who has eyes only for you.
Post # 6
I’m going through a breakup now and it can be very tough. I’ve questioned myself a lot and do miss him at times. He lied a lot and did a lot of other cruddy things and I held on for the longest thinking things would change. Since the breakup I’ve been tempted to take him back several times. I’ve considered calling and just showing up at his apartment several times. Thankfully each of those times I’ve reminded myself of everything that happened and of all the lies. I know and I think you know that you’ve done the right thing. I will also add that in no time at all he started seeing another girl.
Post # 7
You truly dodged a bullet. It’s tough after a break up – no matter who did the breaking up or how crappy the person really was – it’s always hard. Being alone kind of sucks .. At first. That’s the best part in my opinion, when you start to realize that being alone ISNT so bad, you start to really find yourself and grow as a person. I can honestly say break ups have brought out some real strength in me. They hurt, you eat ice cream, all of it is sad and full of sighs, until one day it isn’t anymore. And yes, you could meet a guy thats better than this one easily I’m sure. He sounds like a nightmare and you deserve to be proud of yourself for running the hell out of that burning house. Good luck honey! It’ll be okay. Your real other half is somewhere out there right now, maybe getting out of his own terrible situation and growing into the person you’ll meet one day 😊
Post # 8
You absolutely did the right thing. Give yourself a high five for extracting yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up for being “hung up” or for having a moment of weakness and asking him back. Whether the relationship was good for you or not, you are still grieving and you have every right and need to grieve. Please be kind to yourself.
Men prey on women that they believe they can manipulate. When you are ready, please get some counseling to make sure your next relationship is a healthy one for you.
Post # 9
I recommend you read ‘women who love too much’. It’s an oldie but a goodie. I think you’ll get a lot out of it.
Post # 10
You know you did the right thing, and thank god you found the strength to do so. A lot of women don’t. You never want to accept that kind of behavior from a man. Speaking to a counselor might help to clarify things and make sure that you don’t wind up with the same type of guy on the next go-round. Good luck!
Post # 11
thank you everyone. Im just confused as to why I would want this back even though I was treated so poorly. I had it in my my mind for so long that I would marry him, but since that didnt materialise, its hard for me to imagine marrying someone else. I feel like Ive lost trust in men; how can someone who promised all those things leave so easily, therefore how am I meant to trust someone if they tell me something from now
Post # 12
You dodged a bullet (like semi automatic level kind of bullet).
Of course you miss him.This is noral no matter if the relationship was good or bad.You miss the good parts and what could have bitten but he is clearly the wrong choice.Over time you will get over it completely.
Post # 14
you need to learn to trust yourself first; once you rebuild your self esteem, you will be a lot better judge of people and won’t tolerate BS behavior. Please find a good counselor. If it isn’t a good fit, find a different one.
Post # 15
im just annoyed that even though he wronged me so much and hurt me in many ways, he got away so easily and im still so hung up on it.can the healing process be sped up?