Post # 1
My fiance is a medical student which is making choosing a date a bit of a challenge since he can’t skip lectures/labs/exams/etc very easily to get away for any random weekend. He doesn’t have enough time around Christmas or NYE which rules those out. MLK weekend is a no. And we didn’t really want to wait for Summer 2019.
So, that left us with spring break (this is the only year of his program where he even gets a spring break!) and we were getting settled on the Saturday going into the break, so we could have the rest of the week before he returns to school.
But then. Future Father-In-Law remembered he has his 50th high school reunion that day. And is soooOOO upset that we would think of getting married that day.
Bees who had Sunday (or other non-Saturday dates) weddings — how did it go? Were guests upset? What should I be anticipating?
Post # 2
I feel your pain! My fiance is going to dental school and like you, we had about one date that worked haha. I think it depends what time you planned to have it on Sunday. If you did a Sunday morning ceremony with a brunch reception, I wouldn’t have too many qualms, especially if most of your guests are local. If you did a Sunday night wedding, I would come but not be happy if I was local, and potentially not come at all if I had to travel.
No offense to your Father-In-Law, but I think his son’s wedding trumps a high school reunion? Especially he should understand how difficult it is for the two of you to pick a date. I’d honestly just pick that Saturday, your wedding should be infinitely more important than a high school reunion.
Post # 3
Your guests aren’t going to say anything, but yeah, it’s going to inconvenience them.
You have a few options:
- Brunch wedding, which definitely changes the feel of traditional evening weddings, but can be lovely. There’s less dancing and drinking, but usually it’s more cost effective
- Still have the evening wedding, but be aware that people who are local will probably leave early or be cursing you at work the next morning (or have to unnecessarily take time off)
- Have an afternoon wedding with, again, a different feel than a traditional evening wedding, but less issues for guests who will have to work in the morning
If you have people traveling, you may have higher than average declines. It’s less convenient to take a Monday off than it is a Friday in my office, and honestly, just getting days approved is difficult.
Post # 4
We got married on a Friday – is that a possibility? if it is the last Friday of term he might be able to get out of uni?
A friday worked great for us. We chose it because we didn’t want a long engagement and all the saturdays for July were booked for our chosen venue. Only 1 guest declined because of work (school teacher) and everyone else was able to take the day off. We are in the UK though so we have more annual leave as it is.
It also worked great for our evening guests. Our venue was in sight of both our offices and as our evening guests were mostly work colleagues they could head over after work just like a normal friday night drinks session.
Post # 5
I think the only way to have a Sunday wedding and make it convenient for guests is to have a morning wedding. I got married at 10:30 am, lunch was served at noon, and we made our exit at around 3:30. People who could lingered, those who needed to get home were able to leave… some were even able to catch evening flights. For cocktail hour, we had mimosas and bellinis passed, along with brunch-type hors-d’oeuvres.
We still had dancing (upbeat live band), cake cutting, etc… all the good stuff. The natural light at our venue was AMAZING.
Post # 6
If you’re going to do a Sunday wedding, please try to do it earlier rather than later. Brunch is good. My very good friends threw an engagement party for us on 5 o clock on a Sunday (terribly inconvenient for all involved). BUT the bright side is it is ‘only one day’, right? So people, if they know ahead, SHOULD be able to plan and make arrangements.
I think it was inconsiderate of your Father-In-Law to even mention his 50th reunion if he knew about your scheduling constraints.
Post # 7
mintjulep20 : is it a brunch wedding? imo, that’s the only time on a sunday that is acceptable for a wedding (on a non-hoiday weekend). i recently went to a sunday NIGHT wedding and it was AWFUL. all the guests were complaining about it being a work night; the DJ was constantly reminding people that it was an open bar and they should drink up and party (because no one wants to drink a lot on a sunday night and party). 80% of the guests left right after dinner. it just felt….so forced. but i’ve been to LOVELY sunday brunch weddings!
Post # 8
We had a Sunday evening wedding and it was great! Some guests did leave on the early side, which we expected, but there was a strong contingent who stayed and danced their socks off til the bitter end at 11pm.
ETA: We chose Sunday for a few reasons. Dh’s family is Jewish and was uncomfortable with a Saturday wedding, and Friday traffic in the city we got married in is beastly. Over half of our guests were out of towners who would have had to take at least a half day on Friday anyway if we’d gotten married on Sat, so with this set-up they took time off on Monday instead.
Post # 9
As PPs have suggested already, if I were doing a Sunday wedding I would make it brunch or lunch rather than a evening party.
I love brunch and would be psyched to attend a brunch wedding.
Post # 10
We are doing a Sunday as well, primarily due to Judaism.
And I am pretty nervous about people not showing up, leaving early, etc. I suggested a brunch or garden/afternoon. Tea wedding but my Fiance was insistent on doing a more traditional evening wedding. We did at least compromise on making it earlier – late afternoon/early evening.
I’m playing with timelines and thinking if we did a 3 or 4 pm ceremony, then cocktail hour, then transition to an early dinner, we could manage to have ample time for dancing and cake but still end at a reasonable hour. Is it reasonable to expect or hope people stick around until 9 or 9:30 pm on a Sunday?
Post # 11
Sunday weddings are fine, just a different atmosphere. People aren’t really looking to party hard on a Sunday. So if that’s not what you were hoping for, you’re good.
If you’re looking for a non-Saturday with more of a party atmosphere, I would go with a Friday night.
Though if you’re already pushing it back to Spring Break, is it that much different to wait until summer and do it on a day you’d be happy with? That would only be an extra couple of months, right?
Post # 12
Thanks everyone who replied! I am tempted to agree with y’all wondering why this is even a question…but alas he is probably paying for a good bit of the wedding so it feels like he should have a say.
Similar to MissLucy (sorry idk how to tag!!) my Fiance really wants an evening/non-brunch thing 🙁
If this is helpful info, almost everybody is traveling from far-ish away to attend. Most of our friends are on the East Coast and all of our family is out West. So I assume people would take most, if not all of Friday off to fly out (or drive up, if they’re family) — so maybe people would instead use Saturday as the travel day and then take Monday off?
I feel like I’m driving myself crazy with imagining so many hypotheticals about this and a hundred other things!
Post # 13
Weddings on different days of the week are getting more and more common, and its totally understandable given issues with cost and availiability, but the day you pick does have an impact on your guests.
I used to work at a Wedding venue and our most common day was (obviously) Saturday, closely followed by Friday.
Friday weddings would always turn out almost exactly the same as Saturdays as it seems to be the easiest/least disruptive day of the week for people to skip work and they don’t have to get up for work/school in the morning. Thursdays tended to have much smaller ceremonies and a bigger portion of guests joining the reception later on after work/school, but go on late (lots of guests book the next day or morning off to recover!) and Sundays almost always finished or wound down a lot earlier because everybody seems to have to go back to work on Monday morning.
We wed on a Friday at the end of the school holidays (Saturdays at our chosen venue were massively more expensive, and we would have had to wait 2-3 months longer). A handful of our guests came down after work but most people were able to be there for everything, and I know because of distance and jobs/schools that a significant number would have either not been there at all or had to leave earlier if we’d gone for a Sunday.
Post # 14
bostonbee2018 : Summer isn’t great either as he has to do research in a lab as part of his scholarship :/ though I guess it is doable if we decide this doesn’t work. we liked spring break because we can’t afford/don’t have time off for a big honeymoon so it would’ve been nice to have a few days off before going back to school (I’m also a grad student).
Post # 15
I think Future Father-In-Law needs to suck it up… a high school reunion? Really? Who cares lol It’s his son’s friggin wedding!