Reassure me about a Sunday date?

posted 11 months ago in Logistics
Post # 31
Member
3616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

megkate87 :  no one is saying no to a sunday wedding – they’re saying no to a sunday NIGHT wedding. those are different. and a sunday wedding on a holiday weekend is also massively different – it’s the equivalent of a saturday night wedding.

Post # 32
Member
6044 posts
Bee Keeper

FWIW I do think my mother would skip my (second) wedding for her 50th class reunion. (She probably won’t be invited to the 2nd wedding anyway.)

Sunday can be great–as long as you get over the idea that you are going to have a Saturday night vibe. Because, unless you have an atypical group of guests, it’s not going to be the same. I would LOVE to attend a Sunday brunch wedding, followed by an afternoon wedding that works its way into dinner time/early evening, followed last by a Sunday evening wedding.

I (and most everyone I know) can take a Friday off more easily than a Monday. Mondays are crammed with status meetings and other things that can be hard to miss, no matter how much notice I have. If I attended a Sunday wedding I’d be on the first flight out Monday morning and straight to work and so would my FI–so it wouldn’t be a late night. 

Talk to your FI–he can choose to accommodate his father or adjust his vision. Adulting is hard. We don’t always get everything we want. 

Post # 33
Member
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

A lot of people are suggesting a brunch wedding, but to be completely honest, I don’t think I would fly across the country for a brunch wedding. I know that sounds really shitty, but is it really worth it to spend hundreds of dollars and hours of your time to fly across the country for a 3 hour event? To me, no, not really. If it was family I would go out of a sense of obligation, but I probably wouldn’t for a friend’s wedding. Of course, I probably wouldn’t just fly in and out for a quick one day visit either. If I’m flying across the country for a wedding I’m probably just going to take a few extra days off and hang out for a while. 

That said, you know your guests best and you know what you and your Fiance want. If you want the traditional afternoon ceremony and evening reception, don’t compromise on that and end up doing something you don’t actually want. I do think that at the end of the day, most of your loved ones who are coming from out of town are going to be willing to take what time they need off to be able to attend whether it is a Saturday or a Sunday. But I also think it’s important not to get into the habit of compromising on things that are important to you because they’re inconvenient for your Future Father-In-Law. 

At the end of the day,

Post # 34
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I just want to note that for people flying home from the west coast to the east coast, a Sunday brunch wedding isn’t really any better than Sunday evening. Let’s say they leave the wedding at 1:00 to head to the airport and catch a 3:00 flight. The flight is five hours, and they also lose three hours to the time change. So the plane lands at 11pm; they’re not home until after midnight, and probably not actually asleep until 1am. They’ll be working on limited sleep regardless, so they might as well just take the red-eye on Sunday night.

We had a Sunday tea wedding (my Jewish mother vetoed Saturdays), and it wasn’t a problem. Most people were flying in and had to take a day off anyway, so it didn’t matter whether it was Friday or Monday. Very few people travelled home on Sunday.

I do think weddings should be scheduled so that they don’t conflict with any other events for the VIPs. Given the constraints of the academic year, and your fiancé’s determination to have a traditional evening wedding, would it really be so bad to get married in May or June rather than March next year?

Post # 35
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

I usually have to travel for weddings anyway, and for most weddings I take at least one day off of work to accommodate for travel. 

 

If the wedding is in a in a place I don’t really want to explore, I don’t take a day off and take the earliest flight out Saturday morning and leave Sunday afternoon. 

 

So for me, I’m fine with taking a Friday or Monday off for a wedding. 

 

That said, Sunday evening weddings tend to have less energetic guests because not everyone can take Monday off. 

 

This is has not been the case for any Jewish weddings I have attended on a Sunday. Those experiences have been lively and fun. 

Post # 36
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I was a bridesmaid in my friend’s Sunday night wedding a few years ago, and I honestly thought it was fine. We all tore the dance floor up and the majority of the guests stayed until the reception ended at 11. Most of the guests (including myself) were out-of-towners, so I guess everyone was planning to just take Monday off for travel anyway, so might as well party it up!

Post # 37
Member
7828 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mrsziggy :  Yep same. When we were debating whether or not to have our wedding on a Sunday evening, I was talking to my bff about the dilemma and she reminded me that she had gotten married on a random Sunday evening in August a few years back. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and had zero recollection that her wedding had been on a Sunday! It was an out of town wedding for me so I would have had to take off Friday anyway if she’d had it on a Sat – so instead I just took Monday. Her wedding was one of the best I’ve ever been too – the party went strong until last call. Which was the same with my wedding, also on a Sunday. 

I think you just need to know your crowd. The out of towners who came to our wedding partied just as hard as they would have on a Sat, cause most of them took Monday off. Some of the locals reined it in more than they would have on a Sat, which was expected. We didn’t really want a crazy rager of a wedding anyway so it was all good. 

Post # 38
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Sunday night weddings are so much more common now that I don’t subscribe to the belief they are an inconvenience anymore. I’ve been to two Sunday evening brunches in the past 6 months – aside from the cost factor, the rise in popularity in brunch weddings has really limited the available options during peak wedding season. 

 

If you’re giving your guest ample notice, I don’t see why people think taking a Friday off is easier than a Monday. Plenty of notice to plan should allow your guest enough time to take off the required time to attend and travel.

Post # 39
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

I’m having a Sunday evening (5pm-10pm) wedding and it’s been fine. We’ve only had about 3-4 no RSVPs out of 65 guests and everyone else is coming. And one of those is a mother with a newborn. The local people are making a weekend out of it – even though I thought they’d maybe drive back the night of and the out of town folks are just taking Monday off instead of Friday. No big deal. 

Post # 40
Member
24 posts
Newbee

bostonbee2018 : annabananabee :  I absolutely agree with both of you.  While a wedding SHOULD be a once in a lifetime event, and is VERY important… a 50th class reunion truly is once in a lifetime.  He will never get that experience back, and many of his classmates will unfortunately not make it to their 55th, 60th, or subsequent reunions.  Not even being morbid, but after age 70 a lot of people can’t travel alone cross country (or aren’t ‘advised’ to do so by their children, other relatives, etc.).

I know it’s inconvenient, but it is a really big, huge deal to attend a 50th reunion for anything.  When my granny had her 50th reunion, she bought me a ticket (as well as my aunt).  There were several other families there, and the classmates loved meeting each other’s children, seeing pictures from throughout their lives, and so on.  She didn’t make it to another reunion, so I’m very glad we took her.

Post # 41
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

if your guests would have to take off monday anyway for travel, they may stay and party as though it were a saturday night. For non travel issues though I would do a Friday wedding rather than a Sunday (if couldn’t do Sat) because you can still have the night party vibe with most people not having to work the next day.

Post # 42
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

OP asked if she could have a wedding, not an all night bender, on a Sunday. 

OP, you are scheduling the wedding around the most important guests, which is what you should do. You should not have to wait several months to be married so that people can get wasted at a particular place. If you have a wedding early on Saturday, people who travel will have to take a day off. If you have a wedding late on a Sunday, people who travel will have to take a day off. I don’t see how these are different. 

I’m getting married on a Tuesday. Why? My fiance works weekends. His mother works at a hospital and can more easily get off a weekday. His friends all work weekends. One of my friends works at a restaurant, one does events at clubs, one is self-employed and has an almost entirely flexible schedule, and the other told me that if she is flying up here she wants to make a vacation of it and is staying close to a week anyway. It doesn’t matter what works for most people’s schedules. It matters what works for the schedules of your guests and your most important guests. And there is no reason people can’t fly out on a Sunday night. 

Post # 43
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

You’ve got a lot of really good responses already, but just wanted to chime in as I just had a Sunday night wedding a few months ago and it went really well! Ceremony at 3, reception finishing around 10.30pm.

I think it really depends on the age group of your guests; for interstate guests who work, Sunday evenings are hard/impossible and we had a couple decline because of travel requirements and work commitments the next day (fair enough!). On the flipside it’s a lot easier for older relatives who are retired or a bit more flexible in taking time off work; pretty much all our interstate guests in the latter group were able to attend ours.

Re. local guests, I actually asked my friend what she thought of a Sunday night wedding, and she said yes while it would be a bit inconvenient, it’s a wedding, and if people really want to be there they will be. We had a really good turn out overall (140 people), but a lot of my friends and family had flexible schedules (able to take the Monday off) or were retired. Those that didn’t left early, or just came for the ceremony which was fine.

I think the first thing to do is make sure the people you definitely can’t picture the day without are able to make it (run the idea of a Sunday wedding by them, the date too if you feel comfortable), work around that, and go from there. We picked Sunday for the date and availability at the venue, and had people on the dancefloor until the end despite it being Sunday. Saving $$ was a bonus haha. So Sunday night weddings can definitely be a good thing, but depends on age/work status of your crowd for sure. Good luck bee!

Post # 44
Member
3888 posts
Honey bee

mintjulep20 : I’ve been in this website for a few years now. Generally speaking, people here are against Sunday weddings for reasons stated and Sunday brunch weddings is commonly suggested. I personally do not have a problem with Sunday night weddings. I would attend it given that weddings are once in a lifetime events. I will survive work the next day if I need to attend onE. However, I understand why people prefer Saturday weddings. 

For example, one of my closest friends will be having a Sunday wedding next year and that’s because their venue no longer has Saturday availability. The soonest one is December 2019 and that’s just too close to Christmas already. I will be having a Sunday afternoon wedding myself. My venue waves the minimum for Sunday weddings which is a huge relief and will add give us an additional discount of pricing pp. If someone has a problem with it, they are welcome to fork over extra $$$ needed to meet a Saturday minimum. Sometimes life throws you a curveball and you gotta work with what you have.

Post # 45
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We had a Sunday evening wedding, everyone was still there dancing at midnight. It meant that one or two guests didn’ come  but that was it. We picked Sunday because my husband and I, and about 60% of the guests are actors, and you are far more likely to have a Sunday/Monday off in a theatre job than a Saturday. But the other 40% of guests/family were either retired or just took the Monday off as they wanted to be there.

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