Post # 1
So, DS had his 4 month checkup last night, and the pediatrician was concerned that he doesn’t yet try to reach for objects. She tried to get him interested in a couple of toys, but he really shows no response to them at all (we’ve tried at home a bunch too, and no response). He’ll grab at things once they’re touching him (my hair, his pacifier, his blanket), but there’s no “see- want-reach-grab” action. If he doesn’t start doing this within the next couple weeks, we have to take him back.
I realize that all kids develop differently, but now I’m kind of doing the paranoid new mother freakout thing… can someone please reassure me that this doesn’t mean my child is totally broken?
Edit to add a gratuitous photo of DS at 3 months:
Post # 3
Gah He’s freaking adorable! 🙂
I don’t have any great advice for you. I know this is easier said then done, but try not to worry about it at least until you have to go back. Just keep encouraging him and enjoy that sweet face, because worrying will get you nowhere! 🙂 Like you said, every baby develops differently. Do you do a lot of tummy time…it’s help SO much developmentally! 🙂 HUGS!
Post # 4
Such a cute picture!
My baby isn’t even a month old so we don’t have any personal experience with this, but I do have a friend who’s daughter isn’t talking as fast as most. Her doctor doesn’t seem worried, and as time goes on she’s been talking more and more. Just a little later than others. Kids just do things at different times/speeds.
Post # 5
first – he’s so adorable! love those big beautiful eyes! <3
my friend’s son was a bit delayed with milestones as well – doctors were pretty sure he was somewhere on the autism spectrum, ran lots of tests, sent to specialists, etc. eventually everything evened out and he’s right up to speed with the rest of his kindergarden class. Doctors like to pay attention to things early because it’s been shown that early intervention is best if there is a developmental delay. Don’t be too alarmed. 🙂
Post # 6
He is adorable!
Advice: Take a deep breath! It sounds trite but it is very true. Each child develops at their own pace. Give it a little time, keep trying and see what happens. He might be need some other type of stimulation at the moment.
My story: My now 13yo son started talking at 9 months. Then by 14 months he stopped altogether. We put him in speech therapy and that helped some. When he was three I put him in daycare and ever since he has not stopped talking. 🙂 He just needed that interaction to encourage him to speak.
Post # 7
Ugh those milestones!! My son was the same – much less interested in grabbing things at 4 months. I would take him to Gymboree and all the other babies would grab things but he was much more interested in studying them. I couldn’t help but be a little concerned, and then one day (between 5 and 6 months I think?) he decided he was ready to grab things, and then he wouldn’t stop!
Same thing with crawling – he was later than his friends, then one day was ready, and off he went! It is SO hard not to compare, but I truly believe a couple months here or there means nothing as all babies learn different things at different speeds. For instance, our son seems more focused on verbal stuff- he talks more than other babies his age – not just babbling, but the approrpriate word for the appropriate object, could follow simple spoken commands very early (like clap your hands) etc.
I know it is easier said than done, and you will always have that nagging voice, but try your best to not worry, focus on all the cool stuff he does and know, that in a few years when he is walking, talking etc you wont even remember a month here or there!!
Post # 8
You have to understand that milestones are just a general guideline, but they definitely don’t apply to all babies! Some babies walk at 9 months, some don’t walk until 17 months. Some smile at 4 weeks, some don’t smile for much longer.
It’s good to be vigilant, but don’t freak out just yet. Keep a watchful eye and encourage your baby with lots of talk and play, then check in again at 6 months.
Post # 9
As PPs have stated, kids develop and reach different milestones at different ages, and they do all usually even out by the time they’ve reached school age. As long as everything else seems fine, and he’s developing normally and “on time” as far as other aspects go, try not to focus on the one thing that’s not happening yet.
Of course, always follow your motherly instinct, and push the docs if you genuinely feel something’s just “not right”, but most moms and docs will tell you if there’s just one thing that’s “off”, but everything else is “normal”, it’s probably not a big deal. Just bring it up again at your next ped. visit if it’s still an issue.
Perfect example: My oldest son started talking around 9 months, but my youngest will be 3 next month, and he didn’t start talking until he was 2 years old. But, my youngest is and was way more physically active and hit physical milestones much sooner than “normal” and way before my oldest, in comparison. Same DNA, different timelines developmentally.
Post # 10
As others have said each child reaches the milestones on thier own timeline. As long as he is moving along (or even ahead) in other areas it is just fine. Our little boy (4 months in 2 weeks) grasps and holds and is very strong. But he doesn’t coo or respond verbally. He just isn’t interested in that and we aren’t terribly concerned. We have started trying to make sure we talk more to him and ask questions but that is all.
Do you have one of those activity gym/mats? We got a fisherprice one and our friends have the baby einstein under the sea one. That is were he spends a lot of time on his back (or tummy) and just under there. We also have the Lamaze firefly which he just LOVES (his 2 year old buddy liked it too when he was that age). It has great rings for them to hold onto. Try that and see what happens.
Just make sure he has opportunities to practice the skill. And isn’t always held or having toys brought to him (not that you are necessarily doing this but we held our little guy a lot when he was younger). A little frustration can be a good thing.
Post # 11
At my sons 4mo checkup the pedi said DS should have shown interest in his own hands by now and lo and behold, he’s never been entertained or interested in his own hands. My hands, his feet, yes. Every baby is different. My friends son was born 2 days after mine and her boy has been doing pretty much everything weeks before mine. Is there anything wrong with my son? Not at all. He’s developing at his own pace. I imagine your sweet handsome boy is similar. He’ll do things at his own rate. He looks like he’s alert and paying attention just fine. Just because he isn’t reaching yet doesn’t mean he isn’t puzzling it out in his mind first. Don’t worry just yet. Your son is adorable by the way!
Post # 12
Thanks everyone, I appreciate the reassurance 🙂
He’s very vocal and smiley, so he’s fine on other measures, it’s really just the lack of interest in reaching for things or toys in general.
I went back to work when he was 9 weeks, so when I’m home with him, I’m typically holding him and talking to him, and we don’t really use toys at all. I’m going to start doing more tummy time and time on the play gym, etc. (last night after we got back from his appointment I was like “I am going to shake this rattle in your face until you reach for it, even if it takes three weeks!” and my husband had to be like “ok, crazy lady, put the toy down and hand me the baby…”)
Do the neuroses lessen with subsequent children?
Post # 13
Our daughter is really laid back so she was pretty content where ever she was. She didn’t roll over because she was happy. So she sat before she rolled over. Every baby is different and there’s no firm timeline. The most important thing is that he’s interacting with you and bonding with you.
Having said all that, it is great that you have a pediatrician who is concerned about your baby’s development. Keep that pediatrician!
Post # 14
He’s ADORABLE! I have no good advice because I’m not a mother, nor a doctor, but I do know that my sister was constantly running into things, misjudging objects, etc because she couldn’t see!!! My parents had no idea she needed glasses – is it possible he maybe just can’t see the items being placed in front of him until like you said they’re touching him?
Post # 15
Haha I’ve wondered if the neuroses lessen with subsequent children too.
I just try to keep in mind that my little girl is a unique individual and not a computer program that can be accounted for based on averages.
Post # 16
My daughter didn’t crawl until 11 months and didn’t walk until 14 months. Darling Husband was so worried thinking something was wrong with her. Especially because all the other babies we knew were doing these things much sooner. One thing I’ve learned about my daughter, she isn’t gonna do anything she doesn’t want to do. She is extremely stubborn, everything has to be her idea and her way. Now at 2 she is way ahead of her peers in just about everything. Everybody is constantly aamazed how smart she is. Every baby goes at their own pace, try not to worry. Your little guy is adorable.