- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
I’m MARRIED! Thank you so much to all your lovely bees who have helped me! I’m sitting here the morning after the wedding, with Darling Husband still asleep and just had to post. You ladies have all been so helpful, and I feel so lucky to have found such a great community. Especially since I was always the reluctant bride who just wanted to be a wife and skip through the chaos of the rest of it! Justelope wasn’t just a screen name, but a secret desire!
To all you planning, I want you to know that we skipped all the stuff we didn’t want, and our wedding was fantastic! As women we put so much stress on ourselves, and yet so much of it is us driving ourselves crazy.
neither of us ever had the fantasy weddings planned in our heads, and we both were highly skeptical of the wedding industrial complex (lol!). We are also pretty busy and active people with a lot of things that compete for our time.
But our day was BEAUTIFUL and couldn’t have been more perfect. My recap is going to be around how we approached planning, and to let bees know that no matter how much you cut from your to do list, it will be perfect because you will be married!
- Make a list of what is important to you. Ours was so simple: no sit down meal, invite as many people as we want, keep it simple low stress; no DJ or dancing.
- Everything not on that list is not important so don’t sweat it. IF it was however important to someone else in the family, they could agree to take that on. But they were then responsible for it. Be firm with vendors who may not “get it.”
- Cut what you don’t care about. We cut: paper invites, tuxedos (groom wore a suit that can be used again), wedding ring for me (my e ring has a triple band), DJ, Dancing, Sit down meal (so also seating charts, escort cards, menus, etc.), bridal parties, rehersal dinner, favors (though guests got to keep photo booth strips), flower centerpieces, announcing of the bride and groom, traditional vows, hours of photography (getting ready, etc.), hair and make up were DIY for all involved, uplighting, caterer (we ordered platters from whole foods, baked, and brought in our own food), DIY bar (limited to beer, wine, champagne), cute little signs, yay flags/bubbles/confetti, flower girl.
- We gave ourselves three months to plan so that it wouldn’t get bigger or more involved than we wanted. When it inevitably did, we were ok with it. Also, it could only consume so much of our lives.
- Really ballsy? We only planned the big stuff in advance, and left all the last minute details for the week or two before. At that point, you just go with what is easy and doable. Which worked great for us.
- We tried to stay within our values. We registered for charities as well as gifts because while many people insisted on giving us gifts, we really aren’t about stuff and already have a household. We used local farmers market vendors when possible. We didn’t want $1000+ flowers going in the trash, so we cut in season citrus leaves/branches, and other ornamental bushes from a friend’s garden and arranged those. They turned out beautiful and were so cool!
- We set a budget and thought about WHY we wanted that budget. When something came up that would put us over, we made a concious decision about it.
- Accept gifts and showcase talents. My hairdresser offered to make my cake as a gift, and it was amazing! My dad loves to make a signature punch for his parties, so he made that. My Darling Husband plays a rather dorky instrument quite well, but we had him play and lead everyone outside in a processional march for a final group photo. My Mother-In-Law bakes delicious brownies, and my mom and her friend make fabulous Christmas coookies, so they made an appearance as well. My BIL’s girl friend dubbed herself the “champagne girl” and poured a mean flute for the wedding party! We included who we felt should be included, and didn’t worry about step this, or who wasn’t married, or had only been with their BF/GF for so long.
For everything we skipped, our wedding was gorgeous! Everyone had a great time, I got to talk with everyone, and we had so many comments about how “us” it was. People laughed when we read our vows, they mentioned how many neat people they got to meet and talk to (how many weddings do you go to where all you talk to are the eight people at your table?), and got to intoduce guests to each other. Everyone loved the food and the decor and the venue and couldn’t believe we pulled it all off DIY.
I skipped a formal bridal party, but my friends were there to make sure I ate, help with set up the day before, and two of them even accidently showed up in matching colored dresses, which we all found hysterical!
So don’t sweat the small stuff. In the words of my friend, “Keep it simple sweetie!”