Post # 1
Our wedding is still 53 days away, and today we got a card and check in the mail from my fiance’s great-aunt who lives on the other side of the country and will not be attending the wedding.
My question is, should I send her a thank you card now since I know she won’t be at the wedding? Or should I wait until after the wedding and send her thank you card with the rest of them? I’m conflicted. It seems a little strange to send a thank you card before we’re even married, but her sending a check in January and waiting until probably April to get a thank you card for it seems too long…
What would you do? Or what is the official ettiquette?
Post # 3
Post # 4
Send her a thank you note now and let her know that you will be sorry to miss her at the wedding. People want to know that you received the gift.
Post # 5
Official etiquette says to send a thank you note as soon as possible after a gift is received.
Post # 6
I sent thank you cards as I received gifts, whether it was from someone who wasn’t able to attend or not. It made my list a lot smaller after the wedding. Definitely send the card now to those who won’t be attending your wedding. No point in waiting!
Post # 7
I say send it now, and after the wedding send her a photo of you both with a note to the effect of “sorry you couldn’t be there with is for our special day”.
Post # 8
@louisianablue: “People want to know that you received the gift.” – That’s a good point!
Post # 9
Hmm I didn’t answer the poll bc I’m a bit in between. Since it’s over a month away, I feel like you should awknowledge the gift w/ a thank you note. But, then again, it’s close enough to the actual wedding that I feel like you may be able to wait and send her a thank you w/ your batch after.
For me, I get a little peeved to get thank you cards months later (I’m talking like 3+ months later) after an event (not only weddings). Not sure how to approach this…I’d probably send it before and write in there that we will miss you at the wedding, thanks for your generosity and thinking of us, blah blah.
Post # 10
Thank you all! I’ll get right on sending her that thank you card!
Post # 11
@CarolinaCola: send thank you cards as soon as you receive a gift.
Post # 12
I would sent it now, especially so she knews the check got to the right person!
Post # 13
@CarolinaCola: Since you’re asking, send it now– for us, we had several gifts come (mostly from people who DID attend the wedding, but the gift was shipped directly from the store)– but they came SO close our wedding day (within 2 week, when planning was in full swing, dress fitting, DRs appts, I was sick the week before, and I have a son)– so all Thank You’s were sent after the wedding, even if the gift came before.
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
@CarolinaCola: I’m of the school of thought that you need to send a thank you card before the check is cashed, and personal checks expires after I believe, 60 days. Send the thank you, waitr a few days, and cash it. I just did the same thing! (The few days is so hopefully they will receive the thank you before you cash it).
If I sent a check and saw it got cashed and got no card for weeks and weeks, I would assume it wasn’t coming.
Post # 15
I would do the Thank you notes as the gifts come in. That way you knock out a few, at least, before the wedding.
Post # 16
I’ve sent a wedding gift to a former co-worker whose wedding I wasn’t attending, and she sent me a thank you card after the wedding.