Received invite, not +1 😩

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I have heard of the ‘no ring, no bring’ thing thanks to wedding bee and I think it is ridiculous but maybe your work friend abides by it. 

Post # 3
9692 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I wouldn’t go. This is the one etiquette things that truly bothers me. I’m not going to spend money on a gift and spend my time celebrating your love if you can’t be bothered to recognize mine. I’d rather spend that money and time on a nice night out with my husband. I suggest you do the same.

Post # 4
8829 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

kimmybeenj :  Usually it’s engaged or married. Or living together.  If you’re living together AND engaged, then it’s definitely a faux pas. I would just decline. I would never say anything to the bride about it, but if she has the nerve to ask you why you can’t come, I would be honest: I’d feel like a fifth wheel and would rather be home having pleasant thoughts about her wedding than there in-person feeling uncomfortable. 

Post # 8
12132 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The traditional rule is married, engaged OR living together, not “and.” By any standard it was rude to exclude your Fiance, but it would also be rude to confront her, though you can clarify to see if it was an oversight. If not, I’d just send regrets. 

Post # 9
125 posts
Blushing bee

It may be an oversight, I would ask her. If she decline giving you a +1 (which is not a +1, it is your live-in fiance), I woukd decline on my RSVP card and sent it to her. It is your co-worker not your close friend’s wedding. She may have invite you to be courteous because she invited other co-eorker and felt bad to excluded you so she didn’t want to spend money on 2 people instead of just 1.

Post # 10
6610 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

kimmybeenj :  I think sometimes people assume because they are colleagues, they can get away without the SO’s attending – after all, you’ll know your coworkers.  However it becomes more unfair when said coworkers do get their husbands invited.  Maybe they know each other outside of work so the couple changed the rules for them.  Or maybe they really are drawing a hard line at married only.  I think I’d consider it thoughtless more so than rude and I doubt I’d attend.

Post # 11
470 posts
Helper bee

Imho take it as it is and decline. If you are not comfortable without your Fiance, just don’t go.

It’s an invitation, so you are free to decline.

Post # 12
6443 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d decline. You’re engaged to be married not just dating 

Post # 13
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

She should have invited him. You’re a social unit now, and it’s a faux pas to invite one of you and not the other. 

Post # 14
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

That’s a big faux pas. Whether engaged, married, common-law, it doesn’t matter, you’re a unit. I would take PP’s advice and go out for a nice evening with your Fiance instead. 


Post # 15
751 posts
Busy bee

so she definately knows that you are engaged and she didn’t invite him? That is dissapointing.

I can’t explain this……I’d just tell myself that the person holding the purse strings  insisted you only be given a spot for one person and the bride didnt know how to explain it to you.  This is a person you work with, and might be best to be the bigger person and just send a gift of congratulations to wish her well. If your co-workers are anything like some that I have worked with, if you don’t send some kind of gift they’ll point the finger at you as the one with bad ettiquite. They shouldn’t, but very well might. Sorry this happened, makes me shake my head.


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