Post # 1
Hey all! So I’m currently planning my own wedding so I totally understand having to make cuts on the guest list, etc. I’m not mad AT ALL but super disappointed that I was just invited to a work friends wedding without my fiancé. I’ve asked a few other girls from work who were invited and their husbands were all invited. Do some brides only offer a plus one to those who are married? I feel terrible but I really don’t want to go alone if my friends are all bringing their husbands 😔
Post # 2
I have heard of the ‘no ring, no bring’ thing thanks to wedding bee and I think it is ridiculous but maybe your work friend abides by it.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t go. This is the one etiquette things that truly bothers me. I’m not going to spend money on a gift and spend my time celebrating your love if you can’t be bothered to recognize mine. I’d rather spend that money and time on a nice night out with my husband. I suggest you do the same.
Post # 4
kimmybeenj : Usually it’s engaged or married. Or living together. If you’re living together AND engaged, then it’s definitely a faux pas. I would just decline. I would never say anything to the bride about it, but if she has the nerve to ask you why you can’t come, I would be honest: I’d feel like a fifth wheel and would rather be home having pleasant thoughts about her wedding than there in-person feeling uncomfortable.
Post # 5
Daisy_Mae : thanks for your honest response. We are living together and engaged. I think you’re right….I’ll probably decline and not say a word unless she asks why I declined.
Post # 6
hikingbride : I’m kind of relieved to hear others understand where I’m coming from. Thank you for your insight!
Post # 7
futuremrsdaniellebell : but even by this ridiculous standard…she has a ring. They’re engaged.
Post # 8
The traditional rule is married, engaged OR living together, not “and.” By any standard it was rude to exclude your Fiance, but it would also be rude to confront her, though you can clarify to see if it was an oversight. If not, I’d just send regrets.
Post # 9
It may be an oversight, I would ask her. If she decline giving you a +1 (which is not a +1, it is your live-in fiance), I woukd decline on my RSVP card and sent it to her. It is your co-worker not your close friend’s wedding. She may have invite you to be courteous because she invited other co-eorker and felt bad to excluded you so she didn’t want to spend money on 2 people instead of just 1.
Post # 10
kimmybeenj : I think sometimes people assume because they are colleagues, they can get away without the SO’s attending – after all, you’ll know your coworkers. However it becomes more unfair when said coworkers do get their husbands invited. Maybe they know each other outside of work so the couple changed the rules for them. Or maybe they really are drawing a hard line at married only. I think I’d consider it thoughtless more so than rude and I doubt I’d attend.
Post # 11
Imho take it as it is and decline. If you are not comfortable without your Fiance, just don’t go.
It’s an invitation, so you are free to decline.
Post # 12
I’d decline. You’re engaged to be married not just dating
Post # 13
She should have invited him. You’re a social unit now, and it’s a faux pas to invite one of you and not the other.
Post # 14
That’s a big faux pas. Whether engaged, married, common-law, it doesn’t matter, you’re a unit. I would take PP’s advice and go out for a nice evening with your Fiance instead.
Post # 15
so she definately knows that you are engaged and she didn’t invite him? That is dissapointing.
I can’t explain this……I’d just tell myself that the person holding the purse strings insisted you only be given a spot for one person and the bride didnt know how to explain it to you. This is a person you work with, and might be best to be the bigger person and just send a gift of congratulations to wish her well. If your co-workers are anything like some that I have worked with, if you don’t send some kind of gift they’ll point the finger at you as the one with bad ettiquite. They shouldn’t, but very well might. Sorry this happened, makes me shake my head.