Post # 1
Hi everyone! So my bridal shower is coming up at the end of this month and I’ve been thinking about a potential issue for a little while now. I’m keeping my maiden name for a variety of reasons. How do I handle receiving personalized or monogrammed gifts with my fiance’s last name? Of course, I’ll be grateful for any gifts received! I just want to try to avoid any potential embarrassment for my guests if and when they find out I’m keeping my last name and what they gave us is logistically not correct. I know this, in the long run, is a small issue to worry about but I can’t stop thinking about it lol (you can always tell me I’m just being silly haha) oh, and FYI, I do have a wedding registry but we all know that sometimes guests don’t follow that!
Post # 2
“Thank you so much. This was so thoughtful of you.”
If you don’t want them to be embarrassed, don’t call them out and embarrass them. All you need to do is thank them for the gift.
Post # 3
This is not an issue unless you choose to make it. Towels can be hung with the monogram to the wall and anything else turned around if it bothers you.
If they or anyone else says anything, you can say you are fine with it.
Post # 4
As a woman who kept her name when married you will have many times when you have to decide when you correct people and when you don’t. Your bridal shower is not a time to correct people. Just be gracious and say thank you.
Post # 5
I kept my name and get stuff addressed to my husband’s last name all the time. Including some gifts with the “The HisLastNames” thing on them. I don’t mind at all….. I love being his family, and even if it’s not my technical name, I’m still a HisLastName in some sense.
Just thank them sincerely and enjoy the excitement of becoming one family with your FI!
Post # 6
What the other bees said. Also don’t try to make a post or comment announcing you’re keeping your name in hopes others won’t gift you personalized items. At this point many people have made or ordered what they plan to personalize (if they do) and it would open up a new can of worms. I’d just use dish towels ir whatever with pride.
Post # 7
I think the OP is more trying to avoid the moment of ’embarrassment’ (for lack of a better word) that her guests may feel months after gifting a personalised ‘Mrs’ item, when they realise/find out that she is not changing her name, rather than worried about what she’ll do with the gifts themselves.
OP, I would say there’s no real way around this. You have a gift registry so the majority will likely stick to that, and anyone going the personalised route will hopefully be close enough to you to know you’re not changing your name!
Post # 8
What is there to “handle”? Just be a gracious guest of honor and thank them for the thoughtful gift, then move on to the next gift. You’re going to have a lifetime ahead of you of getting addressed by the wrong last name. People aren’t being malicious about it, it’s just changing your name is the norm still despite the number of people who don’t. You’re just going to have to decide when is the appropriate time to correct people and when it’s not a hill worth dying on.
Post # 9
PsychGIrl13 : If they assume, they are the one in the wrong, not you.
One of my favourite gifts to give at an engagement party is a cheeseboard or chopping board with MR&MRS *lastname* however I ONLY gift that if I’m close enough to the woman to ask her first if she’s changing her name.
If you do get something like that, just smile and say thank you. If they realise months down the track I’m sure they won’t say anything about it.
Post # 10
I agree that you shouldn’t say anything and simply thank your guests. For what it’s worth, I had a registry and the only personalized gift I received had our wedding date on it – no names.
Post # 11
I disagree with everyone here, it is best you make the fact you are keeping your name known. My future mother in law made a point when she told me to make sure everyone knew because in her social circle giving cheques as gifts is typical and if it written in Mrs his name and I am not that I may have problems cashing them in.
I know this is not the question you asked specifically but I think my FMILs advice was good, make it know and save yourself future trouble PsychGIrl13 :
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
My friends all know I am keeping my maiden name but I still received some gifts that said Mr and Mrs ____. I accepted it gratefully anyway because I think that is still a nice gesture to have even personalized a gift. I do not think it was wrong of them or a bad thing of them to still get me that even though they know I was not planning to change my name. So if or when you get those kind of gifts I think it is better to be gracious about it. Just because you receive that gift does not mean you even need to use it. It is the thought and idea behind it. You can even say in casual conversation that you are actually planning to keep your name but thank you so much for such a wonderful gift.
Post # 13
littlebirdbee : it is doubtful that she would get checks written to her in her married name at her shower, which predates the wedding. Also, it is doubtful that a bank would really make an issue of cashing a check written to her and her Fiance after the wedding. Nobody’s name change goes into effect the night of the wedding (after I went to social.security, it still took like 2 weeks for me tonget my SS card, so I was in limbo using both names for a.while), so the bank likely won’t care that much to actually stop payment on the check for the name.