(Closed) Receiving Wedding "money" Gift before the wedding

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We received a few gifts early from people who couldn’t attend and even some who could, as well as a couple cash “engagement” gifts. I think it’s perfectly normal to receive some gifts before or after that wedding instead of at the wedding.

I would cash now, as I was taught it’s considered polite to cash checks as soon as you receive them. That way, the sender knows you’ve received it and they don’t have to keep that amount around in their checking account waiting for you to cash it. 

Send them a thank you card same as everyone else who gives you a wedding gift. People generally accept that there are a lot of thank you’s to be written, so sending the card at the same time within a few months after the wedding should be fine. We did this and were also glad we had a few extra cards for the late gifters. We did acknowledge the early gifts when we had a chance to speak to the gifters in person as well, like thanking my aunt when I saw her at the rehearsal for the lovely coffee maker, then still sent a card.


Post # 4
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ive always heard that you’re not supposed to cash a check until you send the thanks you card. But this rule might be different for weddings since there are tons and tons of thank-yous to be written. If I were you, though, I’d cash it now and send a thank you card now

Post # 5
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would maybe wait until the wedding but then again I am one of those who hates checks that dont clear.

Post # 6
257 posts
Helper bee

Definitely cash it now, and definitely send them a thank you card now. I know you wanted your pictures on the thank you cards, but these people will have to get generic ones. Maybe you could send them a picture after the wedding as well.

Post # 7
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@riss519:  what date did they put on the check? If its a current date then cash it. 

If they didn’t want you to cash it yet they would probably put your actual wedding date on the check (speculating here).

Post # 8
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

My older brother sent me a check for our wedding, they were coming, about two weeks before my wedding.  I didn’t deposit it, and when they showed up my SIL was like WTF you’re screwing up my banking. 

I would deposit it/cash it and send out a Thank You note ASAP.  It’s not rude to open the gifts you get before the wedding, besides one less Thank you note to send out AFTER the wedding.

Post # 9
3230 posts
Sugar bee

If I send you a check, please please please cash it immediately! I hate having a check floating around.

Post # 10
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would cash the check now. I hate writing checks because of the whole element of uncertainty and not knowing when the recipient will cash it. I definitely would appreciate it if recipients cashed it as soon as it is received.

Post # 11
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

We received a check before the wedding and cashed it. We let them know we got it and they’ll be getting a hand-written note like everyone else, shortly.

It’s polite to cash checks within the week of getting it. If you want to wait, then I’d ask the giver if they mind the check being outstanding in their account.

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