Post # 1
My husband and I recently bought a condo in the city. We’re the first of our family/friends to buy a place of our own. I was so excited about it and still am, but we’ve gotten some weird comments from some people. And we really don’t talk about details other than we bought a condo.
My husband’s friend (who was a groomsman at our wedding) told us he’s happy for us but he hopes we can actually afford our condo. He doesn’t know how much it costs or how we’re doing financially so why even say that to us. Also, we live near Chinatown and he told us that we’re gonna get sick of the food.
My BIL is the worst. He told us our place isnt worth the cost, it’s tiny, and the other day he was laughing about how we dont have a kitchen (it’s an open concept loft). I know it’s not as big as a real house, but we’re happy. And he’s been telling people about our place. If he cant say anything nice about it to us, I can imagine what he’s telling his friends.
I know our condo choice is not for everyone but I’m surprised by how blunt people can be. Did anyone get those types of reactions from their friends or family?
Post # 3
We dont have a house but I would guess their reactions are jealousy? Does BIL own a house or condo?
Post # 4
he doesn’t own a place yet. he’s my husband’s oldest bro by 8 years. when he says all these things, we just look at each other. we never know what to say, especially we don’t want to fight with our older siblings. but i get so sensitive to ppls comments.
Post # 5
wow what debbie downers!
i’ve had people subtly ask if we are SURE we can afford our home or turn a nose up because my parents gifted us the down payment, and i was honestly kinda surprised at the not-so-happy-for-us comments.None of their business
But only you know that you can afford it, that you wanted a condo (i know quite a few condo owners!!!), and that you LOVE chinese food enough to live there. Seriously chinese food is more than chicken fried rice, lol. I’d be perfectly content there
But it only sounds like it’s two people so far, so just ignore them! Tell them to stop raining on your parade and that if they don’t like your place, i guess they’ll never be asking to stay over, eh? =]
Post # 6
Id say if he is older than your husband by 8 years, its a case of the green eyed monster! Im jealous that my SIL and BIL are looking for a house and we cant afford to! I would never say anything rude about where they choose to live thought. If you are happy with your home that is all that matters. It sounds like you got exactly what you are looking for and its the perfect place for you and your husband!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t worry about it—just smile and tell them how much you love it (and the food, and everything else) and leave it at that. You can thank him for his concern on the finance front, and just assure him that you’re set (or remind him how strict the lending standards are these days! 😉
I think a lot of people don’t really know where the line is on stuff like that…when we moved into our house, one of our elderly neighbors stopped to say hello, and finished with “well, I just hope you didn’t get one of those subprime loans.” Umm….seriously?!? Thanks for the welcome…
Post # 8
I agree debbie downers there! The person who is asking if you can afford it might be well-intentioned, especially with the housing meltdown that was so publicized but they really could have worded it better. And I think his brother is just jealous!
Post # 9
I just bought a condo in feb. My Fiance and I have gotten lots of similar comments. I think people are jealous that we have our own property and are trying to make it on our own. I know it is a lot different in the States than here in Canada though, so maybe they are just misinformed, well-intentioned people looking our for you.
p.s: totally am jealous that you have an open concept place. I am in an apartment style.
Post # 10
It’s usually jealousy or people who can’t help but point out the negative first. When Darling Husband bought an apartment (before I met him) the first thing his mother said when she saw it was “oh yuck the carpet’s horrible”. Some people, who are normally quite lovely, just can’t help themselves! I’d just ignore it unless it gets too bad and spend time with supportive people.
Post # 11
you’re not alone! Fiance and I are closing at the end of the month and we’ve gotten comments also with people asking if can we afford it… FIs older brother (he’s the baby of 3) kept asking really personal financial questions and I told Fiance just to tell him it’s none his business!! He doesn’t need to know how much our closing costs are, how much we make, or how much we’re putting down. ENJOY THIS MOMENT! This is one of the biggest, most important purchases you will ever make. You should feel so proud! CONGRATS!
Post # 12
It really sucks when people you care about can’t just be happy for you! This is a happy occasion! You bought your very first home! CONGRATULATIONS! Don’t let their bitterness get your down! Be happy and proud of it!
I say that because I’ve experienced some negative remarks as well. Right after finalizing our contract (it’s our 1st home too) my friend was doubting our purchase. She kept repeating how we “really haven’t gotten the house yet” and anything can happen. I kept explaining how things work a little different where I’m at and she just kept repeating how “anything can happen”. When I said, “like what? a death” … and she AGREED! I was so upset! I couldn’t figure out why people can’t just be happy for you, especially if they’re the ones initially inquiring!
Don’t let them get you down! Have you ever heard that saying about “blowing someone elses candle to make theirs glow brighter”? (I probably butchered that proverb) but that’s what they’re doing!
Let them stew in their own misery! Be happy and stay prosperous and just ignore them! Living a happy life is the best revenge! *HUGS*
Post # 13
First off…congratulations on your new condo! That’s fantastic! I definitely think this is the case of the green eyed monster. When your BIL laughs at your lack of a formal kitchen, quip back that at least you own your place! I always find it interesting how people react to friends buying houses. It’s based on your own taste and as long as you’re happy with it, it’s no one else’s business!
I wish you lots of luck in your new home! Try to let the comments roll off your back and enjoy your condo!
Post # 14
I agree with the others…enjoy and ignore all those “jealous” comments!!! So exciting!
Post # 15
Hey! Congrats 🙂 it sounds like a neat place! I love open floor plans. Check out apartmenttherapy.com for some small space design inspiration – seriously, they showcase places so well put together you would never know they are a small condo.
Yeah, the 8 yr older brother is simply jealous – Normally the older siblings are the trailblazers and set the example. But here, his younger bro has gotten married and bought his own place before him. He just can’t keep it to himself.. let the comments roll off your back and enjoy your new place!
Post # 16
Are you the only ones that live in the city? We recently moved to a new apartment (well, a condo we’re renting) and the reactions have been similar – you’re paying how much for what? this is so small! I could never live like this, I couldn’t stand to be in this neighborhood for long, etc.
In our situation, it’s because people just don’t care that they’re being rude about their dislike of the city. They want their space in the suburbs, that’s fine. There are so many disparities between the types of living, such as cost per square foot, etc, that are worth it to us but wasteful to them. We prefer city living, and while it’s too bad they can’t be happy for us, we’re the ones that live there!