(Closed) Recently overheard Mother-in-law’s conversation

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry you had to hear that. From someone who doesn’t get along with my Mother-In-Law because even after I apologize, and told her that we have different views, she still thinks she has done nothing wrong and I did it all. 

With that said, I don’t think there is anything you can do. Anything you say to try to make things better- won’t help. She is going to keep mocking you.

I would just give it time. Hopefully, she’ll grow up or at least get over it.

I don’t know if this is what you wanted to hear but just know that there are many of us who have to deal with someone like this.  *Hugs*

Post # 4
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My rule is: ignore conversations that you overhear.

They are always biased and don’t necesarily mean what the person even really thinks. While what your Future Mother-In-Law did was wrong, just ignore it and go only off what she told you.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

exactly what @PinkMagnolia: said. she was probably venting.

Post # 6
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

A.) I honestly think you can’t say much now.  If we could rewind time, I think you should have made your presence known while she was yapping about you.  That would have put her on the spot.  So I wouldn’t say anything about what you overheard because that would be like brining up the past and what good comes from that?  Just take this as a lesson learned and take the opportunity next time.  Another lesson learned is that she’s a gossiper so I’d watch what you tell her.  And ditto what yrret posted.

B.)  You cannot control others.  Period.  They will do what they please.  The only thing you can control is yourself.  She wants to massage her gums, that’s her choice, whether it is right or not.

Post # 7
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@mtm2011:  I completely agree with what the PP have said.  Nothing productive can come out of your confronting your Mother-In-Law.  She was having what she thought was a private conversation with her best friend and blowing off steam.  I doubt there’s anyone anywhere who hasn’t done the same thing many times. 

Let it go. 

Post # 8
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Even though you “cleared the air”…she is still going to be upset over whatever the original piece of news was….right? You two are on better terms, but she didn’t get what she wanted so…

You know people vent to their friends, espeically about their kids/in-laws/you-name-it.

I wouldn’t confront her about it but I would just make a mental note that whatever you tell her, gets repeated. That’s something I always have to remind myself of when talking to my fmil ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

First …you were spying on her and listening to her private (or so she thought) conversation. You should have walked away, and as far as I see it, you knew what you were doing was sneaky and wrong, so do you want to admit it to her? Who do you think will look worse? What will you possibly gain by confronting her?

 

Post # 11
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mtm2011: Yeah, I’m going to take all of this advice, too.  My Mother-In-Law was complaining about a decision I made after my church ceremony. (She was still in the church (!) and there were guests and my family still in the church! I still can’t believe she though no one would hear.)  Yeah, so I was definitely not happy about it.

Post # 12
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

That stinks!! But, try to brush it off, saying something would lead to more awkwardness. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 12
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@mtm2011: Well then lesson learned right? If she doesn’t want to handle it the same way as you do, there’s not much you can do. I would limit how “personal” you get with her for a while though if it makes you uncomfortable knowing she will do this. Yes, people vent. But you’re right. You had an expectation that it would stay private. She didn’t. So if you don’t want it to get out, depending on the nature of what was said, I would just communicate with her differently.

With my Future In-Laws I just stay polite, but never get too close. Is it the most healthy relationship? DEFINITELY not, but it saves me a lot of hurt feelings and drama. I’m a fan of less drama. ๐Ÿ˜‰ We don’t all get along with our ILs or Future In-Laws. Just have to learn how to deal with their approaches.

GL and sorry you had to hear it. But it’s kind of a blessing in disguise.

Post # 13
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

In my opinion, its not worth it.  This woman will probably never admit when she is wrong as opposed to her always being right. 

You cannot change or control her; so you do your best to make the best out of all situations.  I think what you did by calling her was the right thing to do, and you will always need to be the bigger person so that you’re never upset with yourself or a decision that you may make (with her).

I wouldn’t even bother confronting her, it wont do anything but turn into a fight (and you know that).  Regardless how wrong she is.  Just know your place with this woman and avoid the negative confrontations (thats what I do with mine)  ๐Ÿ™‚

Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I wouldn’t say anything, because not only would she think you were eavesdropping, she probably would still think she was in the right. I understand wanting to confront her though. One of my SILs talked crap about me on Facebook, right out in the open where I very clearly saw it. I was livid, but I knew there was no point in addressing it, because she will probably think she was right to do what she did, and that I was wrong to do what I did.

Sorry you’re having to deal with it though. If people want to talk about you, they should really do it when there’s no chance you’ll be in the vicinity.

The topic ‘Recently overheard Mother-in-law’s conversation’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors