Post # 1
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
- Wedding: November 2016 - Amherst College Alumni House
Hi Bees! Thanks in advance for reading my first post.
I am getting married in May, and although I am having an indoor ceremony and reception, I am worried bout getting over-heated in my heavy satin Maggie Sottero ballgown. I love my dress and I plan to wear it through the 30 minute ceremony and the first two hours of the reception (through intros, the first dance, dinner, etc). Yet, I have been toying with the idea of getting a second reception dress so I can really dance and enjoy myself later in the night. My fiance and I are also considering having an after party at a local bar since we want to spend as much time with our out of town guests as possible.
I would love a vintage style tea-length dress such as Maggie’s Isadora Ann, or a dolly couture dress, but I really can’t afford to buy a another new dress so i would have to try to find a pre-owned or sample dress which is hard as a plus-sized bride. Our wedding is a formal black-tie affair, so I can’t change into something too casual otherwise the guests will be more dressed up than I am! The other issue is that my fiance is a woman as well (yes, I am having a two bride wedding. Yay for marriage equality!) so if I change into a reception dress, she should change out of her satin gown as well. That means two additional dresses.
When I think of the cost, I try to convince myself that it isn’t worth it. I love my dress and I will just have to sit down a lot if my dress gets too heavy or if I get too sweaty. On the other hand, I can’t seem to get the idea of a second dress out of my head.
What do you think? Is a reception dress worth it? I’d love to hear advice or anectdoes from some recent brides who did purchase a second dress as well as the reasons some brides opted not to do so.
It is exactly 12 weeks until our wedding so I have to make a decision soon. What do you think?
Post # 3
Member
13943 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I honestly don’t understand the idea of a reception dress. I’m spending so much money on my gown, why would I want to change to another dress? I guess I’m very traditional and old-school, but I just can’t fathom buying a wedding dress, wearing it for an hour, and then changing into another dress that makes me blend in more with my guests. It’s the one day I have to stand out at a party.
Post # 4
Hostess
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I agree with the pp. This is the only day of your life where you can wear that gorgeous gown, why do you want to take it off?
However, if you’re going to a bar after, it would not be appropriate to wear a huge gown. Why not wear a dress you already own? No one would expect yo uto have a special dress just for the bar afterparty.
Post # 5
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee
1) if you want another dress I dont think your soon to be wife needs a new something, unless she wants it.
2) I think you will be fine in terms of comfort BUT if you can find something for cheap enough that you love, go for it.
3) personally, I would not want to spend that amt of money on a dress to wear if for less than the whole event if it wasnt planned initially and purchased on discount with that in mind.
Post # 6
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
I like reception dresses 🙂 especially so when the first gown is big, and heavy.
Post # 7
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
I’m not changing out of my dress until the end of the reception but I definitely bought a super cute number for our after party! We are doing the same thing as y’all 🙂 And I went silver and sparkly! I still want to be the bride 🙂
Post # 8
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
- Wedding: November 2016 - Amherst College Alumni House
Thank you for all your responses.
I guess I am still trying to figure out if I am interested in a reception dress because I truly think my big dress will be uncomfortable and inconvenient after a while, or if I just feel obligated to get a second dress because it is such a hot trend right now.
On the one hand. I have always loved late1950s/early 1960s fashion. I swoon over Betty Drapers clothes in the earlier seasons of madmen. So, in a way, I am using my reception as an excuse to finally get to wear a dress like that. I’ve been looking for something in that style that is pre-owned or sample and less than half off since I’ll only wear it for part of the night.
On the other hand, I am not going to spend more money just because a lot of other people do, especially since we are paying for everything ourselves, so I need figure out my priorites. Afterall, I could follow in andilene’s footsteps and get a super shiny/cute cocktail dress for the bar that will be a lot cheaper than a “wedding dress” and still allow me to stand out.
Post # 9
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
You should add a poll.
“or if I just feel obligated to get a second dress because it is such a hot trend right now.” << In response to this:
I have been to about 4 wedding in the past 1.5 years and NOT ONE bride had a reception dress. I have been to many more weddings throughout the years and not known ONE SINGLE bride to change their dress. Receptions dresses might be very popular on blogs and a “trend” but that doesn’t mean that most people are doing it. If you want to wear a reception dress do it for your own comfort not because of other people.
Post # 10
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
- Wedding: November 2016 - Amherst College Alumni House
@Tostones: I’ve been to several weddings myself. I’ve actually been a maid of honor seven times in the past 4 years and not one of my friends had a reception dress. Yet, I read about them on blogs and see it on bridal shows and in bridal magazines.
Having said that, I agree with you! Even if ALL my friends were wearing second dresses, I’m not one to do something just because it is popular. So, I need to decide if that is why I want a second dress or if I truly concerned with comfort and/or interested in changing it up because of my own interest in fashion. Thanks for reminding me of that.
I also have to remember that this won’t be the last time I ge to wear a fancy dress, so I don’t have to fit in all the dresses/styles I love into one night, right?
Post # 11
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
My dress is a convertable which I bought specifically because I wanted to change; the bottom comes off and it becomes a fun flirty “retro glam” reception dress.
I feel what you’re saying but if you really want to change into something after the reception, just go for something you own. The bar won’t expect you to go bridal after the wedding’s over.
Post # 12
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
I think it’s totally what YOU want to do and can afford to do. I got my dress on clearance (it’s a cocktail gown for sure, Jessica Simpson brand) for $22. I knew I did not want to wear my wedding gown out to the bars afterwards and had no doubt I would be getting another gown. I do not, however, as I said, plan to wear a true reception gown. The number one reason is because I can’t afford it because I have COMPLETELY toyed with the idea! Apparently I’m too picky 🙂 Good luck though, in which ever you decide. Let us know!
Post # 13
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
I loved my reception dress. Most of all, I loved it because I can actually wear it again and I’ll always remember the first time I wore it. Get something you’ll wear for anniversaries for years to come. My reception dress was actually grey, so I can also wear it as formalwear for other events. 🙂
Post # 14
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
I got married in a tropical location so it was hot and I was wearing a long ballgown style dress with a tulle skirt and train. I got really hot during the reception and threw on a little white BCBG dress I had brought with me for a reception dress. It was nothing too fancy. Just a cute little white dress that was just above the knee so I could let loose and have a good time. I think it’s worth it if you feel as if you may be uncomfortable at all.
Post # 15
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
I am getting a reception dress! Its almost identical to my gown but its a shorter and more of a party dress! Way more comfortable to wear in the limo on the way back to the resort!
Post # 16
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
I’ve never seen anyone with a reception dress that looked better than they did in their wedding dress. I’m sure that there are reasons to have a reception dress, like if you are wearing your grandmother’s dress during the ceremony, but most of the reasons that I’ve heard make me think “you should have just gotten a different wedding dress to begin with.”