(Closed) Reception food etiquette question

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Since your reception is scheduled for the “snacking hour” hor d’oeurves and cake along with champage is totally appropriate…but don’t expect the guests to linger…one you cut the cake and snap the garter they’ll be heading out for some chow…maybe to satisfy your mother an after reception dinner can be scheduled, but with the understanding that the guests attending that will be paying for their own meal?

Post # 4
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

How long is your reception going to last?  If it’s 3 hours or more, then it’ll run into dinnertime and people will be getting pretty hungry.  I have to say, too, that I’m doing almost exactly the same type of reception as you – starting at almost the same time, with cake, alcohol, and heavy appetizers (though it’s not going to last more than a couple of hours).  Honestly, the food isn’t any cheaper than some of the cheaper dinner options I had looked at previously, so it’s not really saving any money  =o/  The recommendation is 12-15 pieces per person, so it adds up.

Post # 7
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yes if it’s a midday recepton – cake, champagne, apps are totally fine!  It will most likely be no more than 3 hours long. 

 

Are people coming from far to be here, flights and all?

 

If you do opt to go out for dinner afterwards, just spread it by word of mouth.  As soon as you put it on an RSVP card, then it looks like you’re hosting.

Post # 9
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Melvin8:  Oh I meant if people have to pay flights, car rentals, etc to get to your reception, then a meal would be more fitting for all their troubles.

 

I had a wedding planned where no one was local to us so everyone had to fly in.  I compensated (in my own way) by planning a 3 day wedding event to make up for their troubles as providing and afternoon reeption would have not been enough.

 

Now if most people were local to me, then that is perfectly suitable.

Post # 11
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Hm… I don’t know. Every wedding I’ve been to there has been a nice dinner served, especially if the wedding has guests that will be traveling from out of town. I agree that it is at the “snacking” time of the day but you may run the risk of people feeling a little annoyed there is no meal.

Have you considered perhaps a light dinner buffet of sorts…one that is not too costly but has the basics…hot and cold apps, salads, fruits, simple entrees like flatbreads or lasagna?

Post # 12
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Melvin8:  I don’t think it’s rude – as long as you are clear about what type of wedding you are having on the invitations.

If you got married at 1pm and the reception started at 2pm and was a cocktail reception – I would think it would be over by dinner time (when I would get my own dinner).

FWIW, I really loved the idea of a cocktail reception (cocktail hour was always my favorite anyway) but it ended up being close to what I’d spend on a plated dinner – so I just went that route) and was happy I did.  

Again – there are no ‘rules’ – just make sure your guests are clear on what to expect.

ETA:  I seriously debated doing a cake and punch type reception – which I think is perfectly acceptable (and not rude at all!)

Post # 15
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Melvin8:  some friends of mine had a dessert reception (it was in the evening) and it was fabulous!  Cake plus lots of mini desserts…. just another option!  🙂  You could also just call it a cake and hors’dourves reception … the point is to make sure people know it’s not a dinner reception or even just a ‘reception’ (because people will think that means a full meal)

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