(Closed) Reception Hall Coordinator very confrontational

posted 10 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh wow, that sucks!  I’ve never seen a dance floor assembled while I was eating at a wedding.  I wouldn’t be ok with this either.  What was her reasoning for it?

As far as dealing with her personality, there’s really nothing you can do but to deal with it!  Unfortunately you were hired to do a job, that’s part of the territory.  But you can refuse to work with her for any other wedding, that’s for sure!  And maybe after the wedding, you can tell the owner of the venue about her unprofessional behavior.  She is probably like this to everyone, I’m sure he doesn’t want that.  But if no one tells him, it will keep happening. 

Post # 4
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Wow, if it was yesterday I’d have thought you were making this up.

That’s unacceptable, period. Does it state anywhere in the bride’s contract with the venue when set-up begins? If so, find out what that time is and go from there.

I’m all for following proper form, holding your tongue and being professional, but if this woman is going not going to extend you or the paying client the same courtesy, then I say escalate it to her boss and the owner, ESPECIALLY if the bride and groom have an in. You don’t need to make it personal, keep it professional and highlight the UNprofessionalism that you are being faced with.

And ask her if that’s how she’d have her wedding run, hell ask the owner if that’s how he knows the events at his facility to be run.

It’s one thing if the dance floor is in a separate room from dinner, but setting it up right there in front of the guests while they’re eating? What, is the woman HIGH? (I say this having worked weddings for 6 years, and having planned my own and a few others.)


Post # 6
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Ugh. I have to run, but this woman should be fired.

NONE of that is ok. You know as well as I do that the cake cutting fee is BS to begin with, not to mention when it’s not even being done! I negotiated mine out of the contract, you should be able to so the same for your friend with CUPCAKES.

I’ll come back and post more, but this is infuriating.

Post # 8
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

You need to go above her head.  Who is this lady’s supervisor?? I also fail to see how the bride and groom should be charge a “cake cutting fee” without a flipping cake?  And if they aren’t even going to be in the kitchen, I still don’t see how the math adds up.  I guess taking off the fee was her illogical way of throwing you a bone.

The bottom line is that she is not paying the bill.  You need to put your foot down otherwise I would explore an alternative venue.  Has she been rude to the bride or groom???

Post # 10
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m very surprised that she’s acting this way, considering the owner and HER BOSS, is personal friends with the groom. Does she know this fact? if she doesn’t, I’d casually but deliberately mention it. And definitely talk to her boss. A little disagreement is fine, but she sounds like she is impossible to work with.

Post # 12
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Some cell phones have the option to record a short (5-10 minute) phone call. Otherwise it might be best to use e-mail as much as possible, so that you do have plenty of proof.

Definitely go over her head – Good luck. It sounds like you’ve been very reasonable, but the dance floor/no dinner music definitely needs to be cleared up before the reception!

Post # 13
1816 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I would try to record your phone conversation if possible.  Put her on speaker phone and use a tape recorder or do you have Microsoft Onenote on your computer?  It has a recording function.  I think Powerpoint might too.

To me, this lady sounds like she has lost all touch with reality.  I would tell her that she either needs to get her sh*t together, or you are going to have the owner straighten her out.  I would understand if she was being firm about something that might damage the venue or violate their operation rules, but none of what you have asked her fits into these categories.  Stay strong, lay down the law!  Good luck!

Post # 14
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I realize this was yesterday, but some advice that’s helped me at my job:

Sometimes you can’t record a phone call, but take careful notes of all that was said. Note all the thing she said you can and cannot do, any unreasonable demands, and to be fair, anything good that came of it. THEN, after the call email her and say, I just watned to recap our phone call. Here are my notes so that we both remember what we discussed and are sure all of this is correct… and then list everything out.

If she doesn’t respond, it’s kind of like a silent acceptance of it. I’ve had a lot of clients who are totally nuts on the phone, which is why I do this. If they misspoke, or thought better of their crazy demands after the call, they have a chance to redeem themselves. And if they don’t, I have proof that this is what they said and that I recapped it with them for when they deny that they wanted any of the things they said.

Good luck!

Post # 15
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think I would go to her manager. That is NOT professional at all. You should not be scared to be snapped at. This bride is probably spending a nice chunk of money on the venue (I know I am for mine) and she should be able to have her wedding the way she wants. My venue is up for anything and I love that. If we have an idea they will do their best to help us achieve it.

Seriously you need to talk to her employer, she either needs to straighten up or they need to find a friendly more passionate coordinator. She sounds like she is making the wedding miserable for you and the bride. Being miserable will follow you through the planning and the actual wedding if you don’t do something to fix it. I personally don’t like having to “tell” on someone but in your case it sound neccessary.

Good Luck! I hope everything works out well.

Post # 16
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

UM.  Deja vu.  The coordinator at my golf course venue is EXACTLY THE SAME.  Except a bitter old man.

I would call on the owner card.  We did, and the guy was not happy, but you know what my feelings are towards him? If you did your job right and satisfied the bride without throwing the golf course rules out, people wouldn’t have to go over your head and f*** you over.

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