Post # 1
Bear with me — been a long week and a long story. My daughter’s wedding is schedule for Oct. 13, 2013. We booked the reception venue last July with a contract that started with a block of 20 rooms.
We are from out of town. Every one in the wedding party is from out of town. It is our large familys’ hometown. We KNEW they would have to open the next block of 20 rooms (which they said would only do after the first 20 sold).
So last week!, in an email response to another question our hotel contact mentioned that we might want to contact guests via Facebook or E-mail to book now for next October since they had a race event coming to town. We jumped on it and contacted whomever we could (never mind that my daughter hasn’t even seen one of her bridesmaids in person to ask her to be in the wedding party!)
As quickly as we worked, the hotel SOLD OUT within 24 hours of her casual e-mail mention. I am livid that they couldn’t give us a week to at least give our guests first dibs at the reception site. Runners, I assume, can sleep in any of the town’s other lovely (and more inexpensive) hotels, esp. after a big race.
We are embarrassed (at least we did wrangle a miraculous 20-room block from a hotel down the street and within walking distance) that we had to inform and our invite our wedding guests this way.
We had ordered our Save The Dates a day before we got the e-mail. We will still send them even though about 70 guests have already booked their rooms and won’t get invitations until closer to wedding.
My brother and the bride’s Godmother can’t even stay at the hotel where we are having the reception. We chose the hotel so people could stay right there!
NOW FOR MY
ETIQUETTE QUESTION: If I know from an e-mail that someone will not be able to attend (before a formal invitation — I mean, the wedding is 10 months away!) do I still send the formal invite since it was our initial intent to include them? I don’t want to appear to be trolling for gifts and in one case I won’t send just for that reason, but for a great cousin or friend who would have been honored to be invited and who we had totally hoped could attend, is it proper to share the invite with them?
Thanks in advance and wish me luck with this one!
Now a MOMzilla
Post # 3
I would send it anyway since plans change. That is awful about the hotel!
Post # 4
Yes, you do still need to send a formal invite. Otherwise they will feel excluded.
I’m sure it will be fine for people to stay elsewhere – the hotel had no obligation to hold additional rooms, and it sounds as though they followed their own policies to a T. Frustrating, but the rooms were legitimately booked. The hotel couldn’t know that the whole thing would be booked within 24 hours! And even if they did, it was a courtesy to warn you, not an obligation.
Post # 5
@bhgerhard: MOMzilla….that’s hilarious. 🙂 I would still send the invite just so feelings aren’t hurt. Sorry to hear about your hotel. I hope it all works out.
Post # 6
It will be just fine. It’s a good idea to have a couple of hotel options, anyhow, to accommodate guests’ different preferences, and it’s possible there could be some cancellations at the reception hotel between now and October. Maybe you can ask them to notify you if that happens, so that you can try to funnel those rooms to your brother, the bride’s godmother, etc?
Post # 7
Thanks, everyone! Whew! I feel better now. The reception hotel says they will keep us posted if and when rooms open up, but I guess we will have everyone booked at the other hotel in about one more day, so it will just be a matter of switching if people wish to. The second hotel, a local Hyatt, totally saved the day for us. They aren’t blocking any weddings but the sales planner did remember us and cut us a break.
Post # 8
Oops. That should read Oct. 19 not 13! We STILL haven’t sent the Save The Dates but will include notes to whomever we missed during the e-mail/facebook frenzy.