Post # 16
When we got married, we had a lot of friends & relatives who have severe food allergies plus some diabetics, people who had to follow a heart healthy diet, plus vegetarians, vegans, and lastly people who could not eat certain foods for religious reasons.
Our amazing caterer made it work.
One thing that helped was we provided menu cards that listed ingredients & clearly marked if a dish contained allergens, was vegan, etc. Guests felt more comfortable knowing that something was safe to eat and the catering staff didn’t have to field dozens of questions about ingredients.
You might want to do menus or label things with ingredients. A lot of typical side dishes for BBQ are not always vegetarian although people assume they are. When I was a vegetarian I got sick so many times from hidden meat like bacon fat, hi Ken stock, etc.
Post # 17
Hey, I’m allergic to tomatoes, eggplant, bell peppers, wheat, corn, chocolate, food dye, and a handful of other things. I also don’t like mushrooms, olives, melons, cucumbers, etc….
Guess what? I don’t expect ANYONE to accommodate me at THEIR WEDDING. I live my life every day and I find things to eat. NBD
As long as you provide a vegetarian option and a veggie or two that vegans can eat, I think you’re doing just great.
Post # 18
We had ~100 people and made sure that there were vegan/vegetarian options for all courses as well as Kosher options that needed to be requested beforehand (since we’re Jewish, some of our people are more observant). Any special requests beyond that could be made on a case by case basis to the servers and they would be taken care of (for example, if a vegetarian dish had cheese, they could de-cheese it if requested or have a sauce on the side, etc.) It worked pretty well!
Post # 19
I have celiac disease and have to follow a very strict gluten free diet. I usually eat before a wedding because I understand that I might not be able to eat anything there. Many people with ACTUAL allergies and intolerances do the same. People with pretend intolerances drive me crazy and I wouldn’t waste any energy trying to accommodate them
Post # 20
Agreed. As a celiac, I don’t always trust things that are labeled gluten free if I don’t know about possible cross contamination during preparation.
I attended several weddings for family members in 2019 and I always made sure I ate beforehand and had a snack in my purse, just in case.
True allergies/intolerances are one thing, but as far as your Mother-In-Law, she is (or should be) used to bringing her own meal or figuring out ways around it.
Post # 21
Good to know, haha. Her “restrictions” are mostly based on what her naturopath tells her she should avoid (tomatoes are evil because they are nightshades, beets, greens and beans are unsuitable because they contain a particular acid that MAY contribute to kidney stones and arthritis/chonic pain…..I know, I know, I think it’s pretty much bullshit too). Some other folks are keto/gluten free, but due to personal preference, not any medical conditions or moral/religious outlooks. It’s tough, because part of me doesn’t want to make this a “thing” that will cause tension down the line, but the other part wants to tell them all to suck it up and eat a beet/piece of cake already. It is a special occasion, after all. A happy medium must be reached, I think.
Post # 22
As far as I know, no one at our wedding had dietary restrictions. No one reached out to me prior to the wedding. We had 130+ guests, and we chose the menu that we wanted. Gluten, sugar, dairy, meat, all of it! I have no idea what diets it accommodated. Probably none. Maybe vegetarian if they ate the sides. Choose the menu you want. It’s one meal.
Post # 23
we did a vegan option and allllll my allergies and one guests allergies. We tried with one persons preferences but that one didn’t work out day of so I felt kind of bad and they mixed up one persons meal choice but all allergies and vegans were accommodated.
Post # 24
Ok so I read your list and just a note be sure that the nut sensitive isn’t anaphylactic. That’s me and you really don’t want an ambulance at your wedding. But also the allergic person really should talk to the chef directly. Imo its too stressful for you to do it.
Ok so we ended up being able to do nut free with two gluten free meals for those with celiac disease. And we had a ton of vegans and vegetarians so we chose one vegan option to accommodate both. You can double dip here so you don’t make yourself crazy.
And the kidney stone risk…. I’m not a doctor but is one meal going to make the difference? Or is it kidney disease?
And when I’m the allergic guest I now just ask the bride or groom way in advance if I can talk to the catering directly. I frame it as not wanting them to have to deal with it. And if so then I do and I make sure it’s within what’s reasonable with what’s being served. Otherwise I eat before I go or have a sandwich in my purse. It does get awkward though.
And some cuisine isn’t ever going to be safe for me but I can still go and enjoy the wedding. It also depends on how close I am to the persons if I’m going to ask.
I don’t know if that made sense but I hope it’s helpful.
Post # 25
What foods are you wanting to have?
I might be able to troubleshoot. Also I have a crap ton of new allergies do in the future I’m probably having a sandwich in my purse.
Post # 26
Can you tell me the wording you use at a wedding when you’re not eating? I always get 50 questions and I don’t want the whole dinner to revolve around my lack of food. I am usually unsuccessful at changing the subject. And I’m asking when you’re sitting in the dinner seat and everyone is eating.
Post # 27
just posting again to say I’m intrigued by pickled shrimp that sounds gooooood. I tried to edit my old post I had missed where you said what you were having. And it sounds good to me.
Post # 28
For us this was our plan:
Everything was Gluten Free because I am (and many of my friends are, for digestive reasons, not fad diet reasons), and the restaurant was amazing and delicious to accomodate (I include the late night snack of grilled cheese and poutine, but not the cupcakes, I mean I get it)
We had one vegetarian option and we made sure it was also a vegan one.
There were no peanuts in any of the dishes because my cousin has one of those really intense peanut allergies.
There was no shellfish because we had a few really bad shellfish allergies in our gang as well as kosher eaters.
And that was it. It was really easy honestly and the venue was so used to these requests. It worked AMAZING.
Post # 29
I usually say that I ate too much of the cocktail hour food (which is usually true bc I find it easier to find safe options).
If someone keeps picking at me, I then say “well, I’m celiac and I’d like to actually enjoy the evening instead of spending it in the bathroom.”
In most cases, family knows I’m celiac so there’s always been plenty of food and I’ve been able to ask the bride/groom when I’m selecting my meal as well.
For my own wedding, I had both gf and non gf options. My sister and I are both celiac, but I didn’t want to make my guests suffer with gf pasta (which is quite meh, but I’ll eat it).
Post # 30
Oh no, the nut-sensitive person is actually not allergic to nuts, his digestion just can’t tolerate them (and happens to be a very close relative, so I’m perfectly willing to accomodate him. Nut free is actually pretty easy to accomplish, but I am a nut lover myself and my wedding cake of preference is mostly almonds, so I’d rather just make two options than find a compromise, lol). Yes, I would be completely on board with eliminating ALL traces of nuts if I had anyone attending who was anaphylactic. No trips to the hospital, please!
Pickled shrimp are one of my favorite cocktail snacks and super easy tp make. It’s basically a cold marinade of vinegar, red pepper flakes, mustard seeds, black pepper, salt and bay leaves (or whatever combination of seasonings you want, really). Just add boiled shrimp and let it sit over night. It’s always a huge hit! Luckily I have no shellfish-sensitive people attending.