Post # 1
I’m from a small town and fell in love with this chapel that was just built on a small college campus where I grew up. Since I am already having the reception held in the ballrooms of the college campus, I thought it would be perfect to use the newly built campus chapel. It has a max. capacity of 120 people. My problem is I have a big family! My wonderful groom wants to invite only 50 guests on his side, so that leaves me 70, but I have 152 family and friends I wish to invite to the wedding. The 152 are all guests that we invited to my sister’s wedding and reception about 3 years ago, so my parents feel inclined to invite them if not to the wedding, then at least the reception (they won’t budge on this)
My reception venue won’t be a problem b/c it can accomodate 300 guests. The chapel though is causing me heartache. A wedding planner has suggested two sets of invites: Wedding invites where you would attend the wedding and reception and Reception Only invites. Are there other brides out there doing this? What wording did you use? I am worried guests would be upset they weren’t included in the wedding, but my mom thinks people would feel slighted since they were invited and attended my sister’s wedding but not mine. There is a bigger church down the street from the college campus, but i am in love with this chapel!!! it is amazing! Please post any and all suggestions!!!
Post # 3
I think it’s OK to do reception only invites – I am not doing it, but I’ve seen it done – I can’t remember the wording. Are there any guests you would feel more comfortable inviting only to the reception/who would be more likely to understand the space limits?
Post # 4
Instead of sending out two invites, could i do wording on one invitaiton that says something like: due to very limited seating in the chapel, please check:
___ will attend the ceremony only
____ will attend the reception only
___ will attend the ceremony and reception
___ unable to attend either event.
what do you think?
Post # 5
@angelafarley8: I think you can do that, but be prepared for everyone to check “ceremony and reception”.
If I were a guest I would feel like a “second tier” invitee if I go ta “reception only” invite.
I would be a little offended and probably sad to know that you didn’t think highly enough of me to invite me to the ceremony.
I’d probably still come to the wedding, but “reception only” invites leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Post # 6
I think that if you are going to have a big wedding, you need to find the appropriate venues. To me, it;s rude to only invite certain people to the reception and others to both the ceremony and reception. You may really really love the small chapel but if you can’t keep to that number, then you need to look at other venues. People may argue that they don’t mind to miss the ceremony or whatever but it’s still initially rude. It’s one thing if it’s an only immediate family thing at the courthouse and the big reception later.
Sorry, that’s just my opinion.
Post # 7
@KatNYC2011: Ditto. (FYI from now on I’m just going to have my profile automatically post : “I agree with Kat”).
I would be highly offended if I were invited to the reception and not the ceremony. The marriage cermony is the actual point of the whole day. I say either cut the list or move the ceremony.
Post # 8
I have heard this is more common in the South, so it might be acceptable where your wedding is.
Just make sure you/your family spreads this info by word of mouth, and maybe say something like,” We invite you to celebrate the marriage of…” instead of “Reception only” on the invites.
Here is a good thread on this: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/can-we-invite-people-to-the-reception-only
Post # 9
@Moose1209: Haha… Let me know when you set that up… then I can post really inflammatory things and I’ll automatically have one person agree with me.
Post # 10
I see no problem with inviting some of your guests to the wedding and everyone to the reception. In fact I am doing the same thing with my wedding for the same reasons. The way i see it, is that this is my wedding and I want to look back on my fiances and my day and not say, “but I wish…” What i am telling my guests that are not invited to the wedding ceremony, is that we decided to have a very intimate family/close friends ceremony. If people are still mad at you, dont sweat it, they will get over it. Again this is yours and your fiances day, not theirs!
Post # 11
Until I came to WB, I noticed that MOST people come to the reception more than the ceremony itself. I wouldn’t sweat it. If I were you, I’d invite my nearest and dearest for the ceremony. Anyhow, I’m mean enough to invite them all and those who have seats, let them sit…ouch, that’s mean 🙁 Anyhow, do what’s best and convinient for you and your guests. I’d put you a notch above your guests though.
Post # 12
In my area, it’s common to have a more relaxed, word of mouth ‘open reception’ that is just extended to a good bunch of folks since the ceremony is more personal and for close family and friends. It’s generally a regular ceremony, sit down reception, and then ‘open dance’ where almost anyone who’s free that night around town shows up. So I personally wouldn’t be offended by a dance invite, but I’m familiar with them so it may make a difference.
Post # 13
I am doing a small short ceremony (about 65 ppl) and a bigger reception (about 175). Here is the wording I used (casual wedding):
Ceremony and Reception:
Your name and
along with their parents
invite you to share and celebrate at their wedding
Saturday, June 18, 2011
at 5:00 in the afternoon
Reception to follow after
Your name and
will be married in a private ceremony on Saturday, June 18th, 2011.
Together with our families, we invite you to join us afterward
at a reception to celebrate our marriage.
Six o clock in the evening.
Post # 14
no suggestion on wording but i think i’ve seen some wording for reception only invites for those who got married in a different city and then having a reception at a later date. i think it is worded something along the lines of, “so and so request the honor of your presence at a celebration of their marriage…”
for me i would not be offended to only be invited to a reception because that’s how it’s done in my culture. the ceremony is usually a more intimate affair for close family and friends at either the bride and/or groom’s parents’ home and then a bigger chinese banquet dinner/reception afterwards. but we’re talking about several hundred people at the reception and that’s where most of the fun and celebrating happens.
our rehearsal dinners are also different because it includes everyone and is more of an informal rehearsal party.
Post # 15
I see nothing wrong with this. The reception is the most fun part anyways!
Post # 16
I personally dont believe there is anything wrong with doing a reception only invites. I am doing this. We are having only a few family members at the ceremony then having a big reception for fam and friends. I have lots of different wording suggestions I am able to share with you if you would like. Let me know!