Reception only

posted 2 months ago in Guests
  • poll: Is this ok?

    Rude!

    Perfectly ok!

  • Post # 16
    Member
    753 posts
    Busy bee

    This can be a bit of a tricky one depending where you live. Some places it’s fairly common, but others it’s considered a bit gift grabby or rude. 

    I think that if the reception is relatively casual and local, then it’s totally fine. But people often go quite out of their way for weddings as compared with a regular party – purchasing expensive gifts and outfits, arranging transportation or travel, sometimes accommodation etc. So they may be a little miffed if it feels like there are still wedding-level expectations of them when they aren’t invited to the actual wedding itself. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Okay I voted rude because I thought you were inviting everyone but ten to the ceremony. I think it’s okay to have a small ceremony and a big reception. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee

    If I received an invite for reception only – I would majorly roll my eyes.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee

    It will very much depend on where you live and the cultural expectations of your circle.  Where I am from, it would be regarded as rude, but I know in other areas, it isn’t!

    Post # 20
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2021

    I’m having my wedding in July, but for our ceremony it is just our parents and for our reception it is a little under 40 people. We both have anxiety and it is well known in both of our families/friend group so I do not think they would perceive it as rude. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    7966 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    e did not do this for our wedding, but it is very, VERY common where I live. It wouldn’t be considered rude at all.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1434 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I feel like you should do whatever you want, this is your wedding, your day… have it your way.

    Post # 23
    Member
    47420 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    There is nothing inherently rude in having an intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception. It’s also not gift grabby, considering that the reception is the part of the wedding that costs money.

    There are other factors to consider. Guests who have to travel may resent a reception-only invitation.

    Post # 24
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee

    I consider the ceremony to be the most important part of the wedding. If I was invited to the reception only and not the ceremony I would notice and think it was weird. I mean, I’d go, I’d just be like WTF. Maybe this is common in other countries, but in the US it would seem odd. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    You cannot make a “rude” decision on YOUR WEDDING DAY. Nobody is entitled to anything, this is about nobody but you and your spouse. Do whatever in the world you’d like and anyone else can just deal with it. 

    This is not rude in any way, shape or form, so stop stressing about dveryone else and just do what you want!

    Post # 26
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee

    I dunno if it’s rude or not, but personally I wouldn’t bother going to just a reception unless it was super local and I was super bored.

    Post # 27
    Member
    14144 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    An intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception has always been acceptable etiquette. There are many reasons this might be necessary or practical. 

    The reverse, large ceremony and only some invited to celebrate after is what is no longer considered polite. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    3105 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    @lauralaura123:  As another PP posted, this is normal and appropriate in the UK. It’s typically in poor taste for the US. People see it as a gift grab because they weren’t important enough to be invited to the actual wedding but you want them at the reception to receive gifts.

    Post # 29
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2022

    View original reply
    @bluecutie00:  I’m in the US and I know multiple people who did this, even before COVID. 🤷🏼‍♀️ This thread is the first time I’ve seen anyone think it was rude.

    Post # 30
    Member
    2969 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @mayblueskies:  This. I’m in Canada and we had a private ceremony for personal reasons. As another PP mentioned, this is also very common in my area. And I spent WAYYY more on my wedding than what I got back in gifts so I definitely wasn’t trying to be gift grabby!

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