Post # 1
My fiancé and I are making some concrete steps in our planning process. Our wedding is in June of 2013 but we are about to put down a deposit for our ceremony and reception venue. Our reception venue has a cap of 70 people, which is fine because we know we will not have that many people show up, however,show many should we invite? I have heard/read that only 50-75% of the people you invite attend the ceremony and reception, but our invite list is at almost 100! What if they all surprise us and show up?! Should we cut down our invite to 70? But what happens if only 40 RSVP yes? Should be invite people we are sure are not coming, like my elderly grandfather from across the country who cannot travel? We just don’t want to go over, or be too far under, the 50-70 we would like to attend. We have family that my mom wants to invite, that I am sure would only come for the food and I would rather them not come. Please help! I am so confused of what to do!
Post # 3
I would recommend paring down your A-list to 70 people, sending out your invitations early and allowing a long-lead time for your RSVPs to be in before you need a final count, and inviting the others (as many as possible) as soon as you begin receiving declines. The key to ensuring that you follow etiquette in this is situation is to not let anyone know that he or she is on a B list, so you would need to avoid putting people from the same social circle into two different groups.
Post # 4
@Brielle: I agree. It’s really hard to predict how many people will come. Some brides have 95%+ acceptance and others have less than 50%. Since you have a hard limit from the venue, I would not invite more than 70 people until you get some regrets
Post # 5
I would have an A list and B list. You just never know if you might get 100% acceptance…
Post # 6
Thanks ladies! I had never thought abthat maybe sending out two waves of invites! That is an awesome idea for our predicament. Thank you so much! You all are wonderful!!!
Post # 7
@Miss Grape: Be careful about doing the B list thing. I get it and I’m considering it, but be really careful how you do it. You don’t want B listers to know they were on the B list!
Post # 8
You should always plan for 100% attendance. So you should either just invite 70 or find a new venue. I would also not make an A and B list as I think they are rude. How awkward would it be when a guest figures out they weren’t good enough to make the first cut? Alternatively, how many people are +1s for single guests? I think what you could do is not give single guests a +1 and then when you get RSVP Nos you can extend them a +1.