Post # 1
(Note: my date is incorrect) I know that it is traditional for the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor to give a toast or speech at the reception. Fiance and I have not had the best/involved at all/supportive/positive/what have you people in these positions, and I’m considering skipping it. This hasn’t been previously discussed with anyone (whether they would or wouldn’t give a toast).
Maid/Matron of Honor has been extremely negative, avoidant, just general self-absorbed girl drama. Bridesmaid or Best Man told Fiance if he had to give a toast he would “just wing it”. He is also not the most socially appropriate person, and this worries me a little bit. Neither one has been involved in anything or even our lives really through our engagement, and neither is attending bachelorette/parties. Honestly, there are people in our wedding party that would be able to give much more sincere toasts (and probably should have had the BM/MOH titles), but.. skipping all toasts is one thing, while asking a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen to give one in place of Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor is different. What say you, bees??
Post # 3
no toasts, no cake cutting, no grand entrance, no bouquet toss, no garter toss, no first dance (only danced with my dad) at our wedding. We wanted to have fun with our guests and enjoy the day, not be bogged down by all the nonsense.
You can just skip it and anything else you want!
Post # 4
It’s perfectly acceptable to nix toasts from the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor.
I would feel hurt if I were the Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor and another gm or bm was asked to give a toast instead of me.
I wouldn’t be upset however if a family member or another non-bridal party member gave a toast. Or you can skip to you and your FI’s toast to eachother and your guests.
Another option, if you’re willing to give your Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man a chance is to have them each write our their speech and present it to someone you feel comfortable with (maybe those other two bridal party members). You can ask them to make sure the toasts are appropriate…they can help make suggestions or if it doesn’t seem like they’re up to the task of toast giving they can pass it along to the gm/bm you asked to help, or share the toast making time, and they can give you more insight about whether it should just be nixed all together!
Post # 5
I say do what makes you happy. Many people opt to skip the toasts altogether. However, if you really want them to happen and just do not want the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor to give them, ask others in your wedding party and tell your Bridesmaid or Best Man & Maid/Matron of Honor that they wanted to do it!
If I have learned one thing through this planning process, it’s that…sometimes, we have to worry about our own thoughts and feelings rather than those that will be attending the wedding. After all, it’s your day!
Post # 6
My brother HATED my sister in law’s best friend so at their wedding I was asked to do a toast instead. It turned out just fine, except no one told her that she wasn’t asked to do a toast so she had one prepared. I’d say do what makes you happy.
Post # 7
@Bunny82: Haha THAT is awkward. Noted, we will have to tell them no toasts. I’m sure they will be offended just for the sake of being offended.
Post # 8
In your case, I would ask someone else in the bridal party to toast. Better yet skip it all together and if they feel the need to toast you at your wedding, they just might. My sister will give a toast but fi doesn’t have a best man. I am positive his cousins wiil toast though.