- 4 months ago
Hi everyone, I’ve been reading through the forums and can’t find anything similar to my situation so I’m hoping I can get some good input and advice. My fiancé and I are kind of stuck as we try to decide when to have our wedding. We’ve been “unofficially” engaged for about a month (still waiting on the custom ring to get made and the official proposal) and we’ve already talked to our pastor, told our immediate family, and started looking at venues.
My fiancé will be moving into my house and for various reasons he needs to do it soon, like within a couple months. He’s already been moving stuff to my house, but we still have a ton of logistics to get settled before everything is finalized. We’re both disabled and it’s not easy moving to a new state when you have to figure out health insurance, social services, doctors, etc.
Because he’s moving here now, we feel it would make sense to go ahead and get married this fall, like late September or October. There are also religious considerations for us about living together before marriage. But we feel stressed out by the idea of putting together a wedding in such a short amount of time, especially while dealing with the logistics of his move at the same time. We’d have plenty of help from family and friends, and we don’t want anything lavish, but it still seems daunting.
We’re considering the idea of having a very very small wedding at my parents house, basically just immediate family and maybe a couple very close friends. We both think that sounds lovely. But deep in our hearts, we also want to have a somewhat bigger party that includes more family and friends. Due to severe health issues on both our parts, our lives have been pretty bleak the last several years and we’re just now getting to a point in our lives where things are starting to look up. I personally have been bedbound and unable to visit with anyone besides my parents for a few years, and now, thanks to a new miracle medication, I’m slowly regaining some strength. I seriously feel like I’m coming back from the dead. I would love to see all my family and friends and celebrate our marriage and just the beauty of life in general with them, and so would my fiancé.
So what if we did a VERY small wedding this fall, and followed it with a bigger reception or maybe even a vow renewal ceremony next spring or summer? I know a lot of couples have a reception at a later date, but it’s usually a week or maybe up to a month after the wedding. In our situation it could be up to 8-10 months after the wedding. Is that weird? How would we spin it, as just a reception, or as almost a do-over full wedding with exchanging of vows again and everything? I really like the idea of having SOMETHING at a later date, as that would give my body more time to continue healing and I might feel more like an actual person by then rather than a shapeless, motionless blob who’s been bedridden for years and is just now able to shower, get dressed, and move around my house a little bit. I won’t be “cured” by any means by then (there is no cure for my illnesses), but I would potentially be more functional than I am now.
I’ll end by saying that everyone on our guest list knows our unique situation and just how sick we’ve both been and will understand that we need to do things our own way and at our own speed. I’m just wondering how to approach a celebration of some type so many months after our wedding ceremony.