- 2 years ago
So, here goes!
I am a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober going on 8 months; I am active in AA and Therapy. It has been amazing and a great blessing.But as I am sure any recovering alcoholic/drug-addict can tell you….it is extremely hard. Namely dealing with still being a “dry-alcoholic”. In my recovery, my partner has been incredible. But there is a source of contention that is coming between us: I am a control freak. I don’t think he realized ( I didn’t even realize!) what a control freak I was until I got sober. I have been trying so hard to work through this in therapy. But today something came up that has made me feel horrible. My partner and I live together and we have some maintenance issues to deal with in our home. We split the costs of these things. We’ve recently had something come up and I insisted it had to be fixed this way, while he had an alternative idea. We bickered and then finally he said to me: “you just do things your way, you don’t listen to what I say so I will just give you my half and you can figure it out”. Keep in mind, my partner is so patient and kind. Saying things like that is so out of character for him. Immediately, I knew I was being ridiculous. I gave him a second to cool off and then I apologized, he accepted my apology and we compromised on the issue. I have had hellish mood swings while getting sober; panic-attacks…so much shit. This past month though has been worlds better. I finally feel like a real person-maybe even for the first time. I guess my question is this: how do I make this easier on my partner? He loves me, has proven to be my biggest supporter but sometimes I feel like I just get in these funks. He knows what I am going through, knows I am trying. I always admit when I am wrong. Just any words of encouragement would be so helpful…