(Closed) Recurrent MC – finding the courage to try again

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

sophie55:  I am so sorry for your losses ((hugs)). I know what you mean about just wanting to see a heartbeat. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please don’t feel like you let your husband down. He has been there with you through it all and has felt the loss too. Although he couldn’t experience it the way you did I’m sure he knows that if it were in your power you would’ve done all you could for your little ones.

When you feel up to it, please come join us on the TTC After Miscarriage board. We’ve all unfortunately been through it – some multiple times. We’re a very supportive group.

Best wishes for you.

Post # 3
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

sophie55:  I am so sorry for your losses. I had 2 miscarriages earlier this year (d&c at 9 weeks for a mmc and a cp). Trying for this pregnancy was so tough. I was terrified when I saw the positive and started crying (in fear, not out of joy). It wasn’t until 20 weeks that I didn’t immediately check my underwear for blood any time I went to the bathroom. My anxiety got better as I got further along and felt him move, but it’s tough.

I hope Turtle jumps in because she’ll have some great advice. The short of her story is that this is pregnancy number 8 and will be the first baby. I believe her official diagnosis was shitty luck (that was mine). We are both 30 weeks and going strong.

Good luck– I really hope the next time is it for you!

Post # 6
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Hi, so sorry to hear your story. We are very similar. I’m 29, started trying at 28, got married last year. We get pregnant fairly easily and this year i’ve had 3 miscarriages and a recent chemical pregnancy. I also have had all those tests done and they show nothing wrong. Pretty much everything you wrote was spot on for how I feel. My husband is great but I still feel guilty sometimes and it’s like i’m on a different planet to my friends. My relationships with other people have really strained since these losses, we are just so different to everyone else. Join us on the ttc after miscarriage board. It’s so supportive and lovely. If you need someone to chat to, send me a PM.

Post # 7
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

sophie55:  I’m so sorry to hear about your recent miscarriages and know just how hard this road is. My story is a little different but still involves RPL. I got pregnant my first month off birth control in 2013 when I was 24 and everything seemed perfect, we saw a HB at 8 weeks and were over the moon. Went in for my 12 week scan and baby was measuring only 9 weeks and had no HB. We were absolutely devastated. I had a D&C 2 days later.

We tried again after my period and I got pregnant right away again. We were so freaking scared. I lost the innocence of being excited I was pregnant. That pregnancy continued normally and I now have a healthy crazy happy 20 month old daughter. We thought my first loss was just a fluke and I prayed that was the end of our MC journey.

Fast forward to May 2015, I had just turned 26, when we decided it was time to try for baby #2. I went off the pill again and got pregnant 3 more times all resulting in losses that did not progress past 6 weeks. I had a full RPL bloodwork panel done and the only thing that came up was MTHFR which still wasn’t the answer because I had a loss after that diagnosis with the correct supplements. I was so upset, frustrated and scared. What was wrong with me? My body did successfully carry a baby to term. I’m “so young” why can’t I stay pregnant??

We had an initial consult with a RE and had some tests lined up like a HSG and some more bloodwormk. Well 3 days later I found out I was pregnant again. So we were never able to do those tests. I’m now currently 7w3d with my 4th pregnancy this year. I’m doing everything I possibly can to try and remain positive. It’s so incredibly hard when you feel like your chances of things going right are basically zero. It has been the hardest year of my life. Emotionally I’m so drained from the miscarriages, the would have beens, and being so scared to lose this baby too. I’m so incredibly thankful for my sweet daughter but now know truly what a miracle she is. 

If you can get in to see a RE who specializes in RPL and get some more testing done it will help you feel like you’re taking the steps in the right direction. Unfortunately more than 50% of women with RPL never find an answer to the reason why for their losses.

I know what a difficult time this is and if you ever need to talk or vent please feel free to PM me, I’m happy to try and help in any way I can. Big hugs to you.

Post # 9
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

sophie55:  I had 3 miscarriages before I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that clots blood and worsens during pregnancy. Getting pregnant is easy, staying pregnant is hard for me. Stay strong and take all the time you need to try again.

Post # 10
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry for your losses. It really could just be bad luck. Some researchers estimate that even as many as 80% of pregnancies don’t result in a birth. I’ve had multiple losses, but I have medical issues. I wanted a large family, so we just kept trying. All of my pregnancies are a hot mess, and I’ve had multiple premature babies. But I also know women who have one normal easy pregancy, and they can’t handle doing it again, so they don’t. I guess what I’m saying is, you’re not alone, but every woman is different, and any decision you make about your family will be the right decision for you.

Post # 14
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

sophie55:  Thanks for your sweet words. I know they come from a true place of understanding of someone who has actually been there. It’s interesting you say your OB wants to test the fetal tissue after a next loss. My RE actually suggested we have the fetal tissue from my D&C in 2013 tested now. I guess the way that is possible is because I had my D&C at a hospital and they are required to keep the tissue. So perhaps if you had yours at a hospital that could be an option for you as well instead of having to wait for more heartbreak. 

I have actually had 3 early ultrasounds with my RE before I was transferred back to my regular OB. All 3 scans looked perfect and baby is actually measuring a week ahead, we have seen the heartbeat twice now. That definitely helps ease my fears but I know after my first appt with my OB at 8.5 weeks until my 12 week scan is going to be a really tough time. 

My faith has been tested completely through the last year. But I thank God everyday for my daughter and for this pregnancy. I pray it continues to progress the way it should and that’s all I can really do. I really wish you the best of luck and hope you will keep us updated on any findings your Dr. comes across. I’m rooting for you!! And I really encourage you to join the TTC after MC thread. That place is like home to me and those ladies are so sweet and everyone is so understanding. It’s a wonderful place for support.

Post # 15
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

There are many awesome Bees here who can totally relate. I’m one of them! Darling Husband and I lost our twins at 22w due to preterm labor. It was traumatic and terrifying. We had talked about trying again 2 years later and got pregnant sooner than we thought. I’m 24w now. The one thing that helped me was turning up my logical side. We had an emotionally removed conversation and admitted that we had survived our trauma. As awful as it was , and still is sometimes, we’re still standing. You and your Darling Husband are still standing too. As sad and scared as you feel some days, you haven’t crumbled or let anyone down! 

Good luck to you and your Darling Husband. 

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