(Closed) Delete……..

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ehh…. your post is extremely judgemental. This stance of “well I do it this way that means others should also do it this way” is just… not nice. As you said it before, some people have different economic means and she could have just not given you anything.

Is regifting only okay when you also regift? This just sounds so high and mighty.

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I actually don’t mind regifting so much as long as the gift is unused and actually useful. We got a few duplicate items and since we can only get store credit for them, they actually might make nice shower or housewarming gifts for others in the future, especially if the recipients aren’t registered anywhere.

Although, I received an extremely tarnished, worn and dated looking silver platter from a recently divorced guest which raised an eyebrow. Obviously there was no thought there other than “Ugh I have to get them something and don’t want to be reminded of my divorce anymore, here’s an old wedding present”. We also received a very ornate (not our style at all) vase with the price tag still on not wrapped just thrown in a gift bag which was obvioulsy either a quick no thought purchase or a regift. And someone bought us an extremely ugly, huge, heavy metal salad bowl with windy metal ‘branches’ all over it making it super heavy, huge and obviously totally not our style. What really confused me about this gift was I had already registered us for a nice salad bowl set which was already purchased, so I have no idea what would have possed these people to even think we would want this.

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@snake:  I disagree.  I was in the same situation where I got a regift at my shower from one of fiance’s cousins.  It was glass bowl in a VERY beat up box that had clearly been sitting in their basement since their wedding.  It’s pretty hurtful when a family member can’t be bothered to put a little thought into a gift for you.  Especially when you have gone out of your way to find something nice for them.  The OP explicitly said it’s not about spending money, it’s about the thought.  Regifting is never ok.  It’s rude to the person you’re giving the gift to, and the person who gave you the gift.

Post # 6
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t mind a regift when it’s something the giver knew I would like. 

It’s cracking me up that this is a first post.  Usually they are like “hi, I’m new here!” or “what do you think of my dress?”.

Post # 7
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

How do you know it was a regift? Maybe she liked the item soo much off of her registry that she decided to buy you one also? I don’t understand how you just KNOW that it was regifted?

Post # 8
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think that OP is too judgemental. The person didn’t even take enough time to make sure it wasn’t obvious it was a regift. I do think that is rude to just pass along something you don’t want, it’s like taking food off a buffet and deciding you don’t like it so you put it back.

I would much prefer a heartfelt card if times are really that tough. I really don’t care if people give us presents or not, it truely is the thought behind it.

Post # 9
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry but I do find its very judgemental. She has no way of knowing if the item wasn’t repurchased because as another member put it, she could have liked it so much she got a new one for the OP. Also, the way she goes about saying BUT THIS IS HOW I DO THINGS.. I made sure it was very nice etc etc and I cant understand why they wouldnt reciprocate.. its like come on grow up. You may not like a gift someone got you but plain and simple: they could have just skipped the gift all together.

Post # 10
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@snake: I don’t think her post is judgemental (although I don’t think “tacky” is the best way to describe what she’s talking about).

I think the point she’s making is that it’s disappointing to put time and effort into finding a gift that someone will enjoy (for any occasion) and then knowing that they didn’t spend any time on a gift for you. I don’t think it means if she goes to 8 stores and custom wraps a gift that she expects the same, but a little thought behind a gift is considerate.

If a regift is something that the couple would love/want and the gifter knows that then I don’t think it’s an issue. But just dumping some unused item in a bag so you have a “gift” is poor form.

Post # 11
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Chillmer: I also found this to be an interesting first post!

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@snake:I don’t think she’s being judgemental, she’s just stating her opinion. I think it’s usually pretty obvious at least how much ‘thought’ goes into a gift, regift or not.

Post # 15
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@lannie327027: I don’t think anyone meant that your first post had to be happy or about your dress.  It’s just different than the norm.

Post # 16
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

I think we got regifted one thing. It’s the only rational explanation of why someone would give us a random block of knives – not the ones we registered for – when the ones we did register for had been fulfilled several months before the wedding. I’m not hurt, it’s just a box sitting at the bottom of my closet now because no one needs two blocks of knives.

I wouldn’t call it tacky, just, irritating. Yes I would’ve preferred a card with a nice note than a totally useless item.

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