Post # 1
My Fiance and I recently got into an argument with my Future In-Laws over the definition of “hospitality” for our out-of-town guests. My Fiance is from Kansas City and the wedding is being held on a Sunday in Boston, where I grew up.
Since all of the FILs’ guests are flying in, my Future In-Laws are concerned with entertaining them throughout the weekend. In my family, we’ve traditionally done a smaller reception the night before the wedding and brunch the morning after the wedding for our close family members , but my Future Mother-In-Law would like her OOTGs to be entertained for Friday dinner, Saturday lunch, Saturday dinner, and Sunday (for the wedding).
Here’s my question: My Future Mother-In-Law swears that every wedding they’ve been to in Kansas City includes special meals which friends or relatives of the B&G host for the OOTGs. She had assumed that someone would step up and offer to host them in Boston, but no one has because that’s never been a part of our family tradition. (Plus, most of our family is from out-of-town, too.)
Is hosting “pre-nuptial parties” a Midwestern thing? Is it also common on the East Coast and I’m just unaware? Should we be arranging all meals for the OOTGs?
Post # 3
I’m also from Boston, and in my social circle, Out of Town guests are usually invited to the rehersal dinner and then go to a brunch the morning after the wedding, like you described. I would put some maps, restaurant suggestions, maybe a pre-paid Charlie card, etc in an Out of Town bag and let them explore Boston on their own on Saturday.
Post # 4
I’m in the midwest and typically Out of Town guests are invited to the rehearsal dinner. I’ve never seen them entertained all weekend, but definitely included in the rehearsal dinner.
Sometimes they’re also invited to the gift opening the morning after and any meal/brunch that is provided. Usually Out of Town guests are headed back home though so not sure how many would actually attend this.
Post # 5
Upstate, NY here and I’ve never heard of such a thing. Like you, we’re used to having a rehearsal dinner and then the morning after brunch. While it would be nice for you to host something special for your Out of Town guests, in most situations it’s just not possible. Your Future Mother-In-Law asking you to host THREE additional meals for her guests is a little outrageous if you ask me. If she’s so concerned with it, then why doesn’t she arrange something?
Post # 6
That seems like a lot of parties to host. I assume they are going to the rehersal dinner on Saturday, right? So that leaves Friday night and Saturday morning/afternoon. If it was me I would give suggestions of places in the area to visit, restaurant recomendations, etc. If theyve never been to Boston theyll probably be happy to have some time on their own for sight-seeing.
Post # 7
My wedding was in the South and we had all our guests (OOT and in town – there were only like 10 total in town) invited to our rehearsal dinner and all guests invited to our day after brunch. But we didnt host a lunch the day before or anything.