(Closed) Registering for a luxe honeymoon?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Registering for a luxe honeymoon?

    It's totally tacky. Don't do it.

    It's only tacky if you ask for airfare/hotels. Keep it to experiences/excursions/upgrades.

    Go for it!

  • Post # 31
    913 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014 - Nazareth Hall

    View original reply
    aliceandrews :  If you can afford it yourselves, don’t do the registry. Most of your guests will bring a gift anyways and you can supplement spending money with this and the website you register under won’t take a cut of it if it’s a check or cash written out to you.

    Post # 32
    7851 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

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    aliceandrews :  We’re professionals in our 30s and make good money.  I know a few couples that have registered for honeymoons like ours and my reaction was frankly an eye roll.  

    I think you answered your own question.

    If there is one thing I’ve learned from the Bee it’s that something that is seemingly acceptable in one region or within a specific social group may not be in another. Your peers are likely to respond as you did.

    Post # 33
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

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    aliceandrews :  I would register for a fund; screw people thinking it’s tacky.  I really didn’t care if we received anything and we didn’t register for our engagement parties (we had one for family and friends and the other for mostly family) so people bought us random stuff.  We are wealthy and no one gave us money.  I’d rather have more money in the bank and a few people think I’m ‘tacky’ (although I think judging people based on preferences is tacky), then a garage full of $hit I don’t need.  I even had to buy another bar to hold all of the wine glasses we received as gifts (5 boxes).  I would rather have nothing then stuff I won’t use-it’s just unnecessary spending.

    Post # 34
    1023 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    We had a couple traditional registries and then we registered with Blueprint registry, where you can register for things from “Drinks on the Beach” to “Help Us with our down payment”

    It might be tacky, but it felt better than crowdsourcing more blatantly. Blueprint seems to have a pretty honest system and it all comes to you in cash. Our wedding is a month out still but it seems like our young friends are doing that one first, we’ve gotten a few of our cash gifts purchased already. 

    (it helps that the website is beautiful and people actually feel like they’re buying something tangiable)

    Post # 35
    4881 posts
    Honey bee

    I wasn’t being nasty and i wasn’t accusing you personally.  You said you were worried about what your professional friends would think.  I told you what I personally think when I see them.  I think people who willingly throw away 3-7% of the money they receive do not make fiscally sound decisions and I am not willing to contribute to that. 

    Post # 36
    5920 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    aliceandrews :  Sadly, no I would say it’s not a good idea. I have given to one in the past because I knew they wouldn’t be able to afford a honeymoon at all oftherwise. I usually gift a check for weddings though or if I’m broke, I gift something small off the registry. I say sadly because it is a nice idea in theory but in practice it isn’t widely accepted. I would just register for the bare minimum of items that you actually really want and most likely the rest will give money. Depends on the crowd though.

    Post # 38
    2871 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

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    aliceandrews :  I just got the chance to chime in, and I’m glad you’re not doing one.  I have to agree with the others, especially weddingmaven who said (summarizing) that they can rub people the wrong way if it’s for a vacation that they could never afford to take.

    We’re going through a bit of this ourselves as my Fiance is 34 and I am 30 and we just purchased our first home.  We both have a lot of crappy dishes and both our moms want to throw us a shower (his family lives in another state so we would have 2 showers) and my Fiance looks at this as our chance to upgrade our stuff.  I feel weird registering for nice things knowing we should just buy them ourselves, but both our families are rather traditional and are insisting we do this.  Maybe I’m overthinking it.

    Post # 39
    9538 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We are huge travel fanatics, which all our friends and family know. So nobodyw as surprised that we went on a three week African safari for our honeymoon. It cost more than our wedding. ut we saved for it and could afford it.

    My best friend did a honeymoon registry and I thought it was a great idea and was really glad to get her an excursion through it when she got married. So it was an easy decision to do a a honeymoon registry through honeymoonpixie. It was failry easy to put together ad was very popular. About a third of guests chose to gift through it. And I got a lot of people that told me how cool they thought it was. I broke the all inclusive packages into experiences at reasonable and varied price points and those were most popular. We took tons of pictures during the honeymoon and included pictures of us enjoying each activity with the tahnk you cards for those that gifted on the honeymoon registry, which people really seemed to like.

    I knew there would be guests that wouldn’t like a honeymoon registry, so we also did a traditional registry but it was used very sparsely. 

    Post # 40
    403 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    beemyhandsome :  I agree. Be grateful for your gifts that people give you.Go on the honeymoon you can afford. I also don’t like “Go Fund Me.com” Click here and pay for my trip/gift that I can’t afford .

    Post # 43
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    It’s so NOT tacky! It’s the exact same as a registry where you ask for plates and fancy china. 

    Post # 44
    7 posts
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I’m going to have to disagree with most of the pollsters. I don’t find it tacky at all to have a honeyfund or other honeymoon registry.

    I’m getting married in April and am doing one in lieu of a registry. Why? Because we already own a home and have every appliance we need and then some. We have a sous vide for chrissake we truly don’t need anything else for our home. 

    Besides, either way a wedding guest is spending money on your gift so why does it matter if it’s on homegoods you’ll end up selling or donating anyway or if it’s on a dream honeymoon that you’ll remember forever?

    Post # 45
    8 posts
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Note: I’m 29 living in the Bay Area, CA. 

    How is giving a live-in couple ‘experience’ gifts tacky, but giving them what you (the giver) deems appropriate not tacky? I first heard of honeyfund-esque sites 4-5 years ago when my female coworker got engaged. Every single woman at our company was enamored with this idea. The geographic location here is now relevant: these were women from 23-55, all variations of 1st gen American or immigrants, and a mix of single, engaged, and married. All in professional tech careers.

    People saying “I didn’t like that I gave them cash to do whatever they wanted with”–seriously? So they can only use it for what you think is important. I doubt there are many couples laughing their way to the bank….you choose to give the gift and they choose to do what they want with it, whether that is regifting, returning, or using it in another way. 

    I imagine some of those who think it’s tacky might be more traditional or conservative and it ruffles status quo feathers. Perhaps they don’t live with or believe in live-in couples before marriage, is that where it stems from?

    The bottom line to me is: gift givers are being selfish in this type of thinking. Gifts are not obligatory, but if you graciously give a couple you love a gift, they are welcome to do whatever they want with it, including something that seems idiotic to you. 

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