- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014 - Nazareth Hall
I think you answered your own question.
If there is one thing I’ve learned from the Bee it’s that something that is seemingly acceptable in one region or within a specific social group may not be in another. Your peers are likely to respond as you did.
We had a couple traditional registries and then we registered with Blueprint registry, where you can register for things from “Drinks on the Beach” to “Help Us with our down payment”
It might be tacky, but it felt better than crowdsourcing more blatantly. Blueprint seems to have a pretty honest system and it all comes to you in cash. Our wedding is a month out still but it seems like our young friends are doing that one first, we’ve gotten a few of our cash gifts purchased already.
(it helps that the website is beautiful and people actually feel like they’re buying something tangiable)
I wasn’t being nasty and i wasn’t accusing you personally. You said you were worried about what your professional friends would think. I told you what I personally think when I see them. I think people who willingly throw away 3-7% of the money they receive do not make fiscally sound decisions and I am not willing to contribute to that.
Update: Spoke with fiance and we’re not doing the fund. He seemed a little disappointed given that we know many folks who have done it, but as I’ve mentioned, I don’t feel very comfortable with it. Thanks everyone for your thoughts!
We’re going through a bit of this ourselves as my Fiance is 34 and I am 30 and we just purchased our first home. We both have a lot of crappy dishes and both our moms want to throw us a shower (his family lives in another state so we would have 2 showers) and my Fiance looks at this as our chance to upgrade our stuff. I feel weird registering for nice things knowing we should just buy them ourselves, but both our families are rather traditional and are insisting we do this. Maybe I’m overthinking it.
We are huge travel fanatics, which all our friends and family know. So nobodyw as surprised that we went on a three week African safari for our honeymoon. It cost more than our wedding. ut we saved for it and could afford it.
My best friend did a honeymoon registry and I thought it was a great idea and was really glad to get her an excursion through it when she got married. So it was an easy decision to do a a honeymoon registry through honeymoonpixie. It was failry easy to put together ad was very popular. About a third of guests chose to gift through it. And I got a lot of people that told me how cool they thought it was. I broke the all inclusive packages into experiences at reasonable and varied price points and those were most popular. We took tons of pictures during the honeymoon and included pictures of us enjoying each activity with the tahnk you cards for those that gifted on the honeymoon registry, which people really seemed to like.
I knew there would be guests that wouldn’t like a honeymoon registry, so we also did a traditional registry but it was used very sparsely.
It’s so NOT tacky! It’s the exact same as a registry where you ask for plates and fancy china.
I’m going to have to disagree with most of the pollsters. I don’t find it tacky at all to have a honeyfund or other honeymoon registry.
I’m getting married in April and am doing one in lieu of a registry. Why? Because we already own a home and have every appliance we need and then some. We have a sous vide for chrissake we truly don’t need anything else for our home.
Besides, either way a wedding guest is spending money on your gift so why does it matter if it’s on homegoods you’ll end up selling or donating anyway or if it’s on a dream honeymoon that you’ll remember forever?
Note: I’m 29 living in the Bay Area, CA.
How is giving a live-in couple ‘experience’ gifts tacky, but giving them what you (the giver) deems appropriate not tacky? I first heard of honeyfund-esque sites 4-5 years ago when my female coworker got engaged. Every single woman at our company was enamored with this idea. The geographic location here is now relevant: these were women from 23-55, all variations of 1st gen American or immigrants, and a mix of single, engaged, and married. All in professional tech careers.
People saying “I didn’t like that I gave them cash to do whatever they wanted with”–seriously? So they can only use it for what you think is important. I doubt there are many couples laughing their way to the bank….you choose to give the gift and they choose to do what they want with it, whether that is regifting, returning, or using it in another way.
I imagine some of those who think it’s tacky might be more traditional or conservative and it ruffles status quo feathers. Perhaps they don’t live with or believe in live-in couples before marriage, is that where it stems from?
The bottom line to me is: gift givers are being selfish in this type of thinking. Gifts are not obligatory, but if you graciously give a couple you love a gift, they are welcome to do whatever they want with it, including something that seems idiotic to you.
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