(Closed) Registering only for cash?

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 19
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

100% agree with @Miss Chapstick. In fact, we’re going out of our way to do a honeymoon registry where the money doesn’t go to us, but to the resort, because I want to know Aunt Susie gave us a candlelight dinner because we always talk with her about good food, or our college friend Steve gave us a scuba dive trip because we’re the ones who turned him on to diving, and I want our guests to know the money went to what they chose, and not just our pockets.  But regardless of what you do, I think being so blatant about not wanting any non-cash gifts is just rude.  You’ve made it clear what you want by registering, so adding a cutesy little note about how hard it is to pack is just awkward.  90% of gifts get bought online and shipped right to your door anyway, so how exactly could you lose them? 

Post # 20
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@moderndaisy — exactly! and that is why i posted that article, i completely agree with you. the article really highlights that people WANT a direction in which to give you a gift (ie: through a registry). you guests want to bring you someone physical or meaningful, have the experience of wrapping it and bringing it to the wedding! and while i appreciate the modern twist on the traditional wedding registries (like the ones we listed), you cannot be so demanding and have such expectations as to only telling your guests to “gift” through online transaction (paypal) or a credit/debit card. that is so bizarre to me. it’s not really “gifting” at all! plus, just because you tell your guests to do it that way, doesn’t mean they will!

my advice is to give them a gift in way that is comfortable and feels right to you. some of the other girls listed some good ideas!

Post # 21
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Hi Ladies.  LONG TIME lurker here, 1st post 🙂

ModernDaisy, your post was so funny, I had to register and ask bc I wondered if it was a really small world and we are going to the same wedding?! I am invited to a wedding in NYC (Central Park for J + K?? in June?) and received the SAME message from the couple via a website.  Was told Paypal and not to mail or bring cash or checks! I was astonished.

Could there be 2 rude couples out there? Haha 🙂

Post # 22
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

As a general rule, it is inadvisable to bring gifts/checks directly to the wedding, as it is quite difficult to keep track of them during the wedding.  If you want to send a gift, please have the store ship it directly to the couple’s home before or after the wedding.  I don’t think there is anything inappropriate about a honeymoon or house registry – people can choose to utilize those registries if they want and ignore them if they don’t like them. 

My concern about not registering is that my friend only started a honeymoon registry, and she got a lot of gifts (dozens of vases, 3/4 of a china pattern she didn’t really like) from a ton of different stores.  A wedding registry at bloomingdales allows you to return everything for a year, but if you get a bunch of gifts from a lot of stores, you will be very busy (and frustrated) trying to return everything within the return deadline.   Bed Bath and Beyond returned our registry items for cash, and Bloomingdales gave us store credit that never expires, so we were very happy with those registries.

Post # 23
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wont be offended because we only want cash too. I dont need anything/ want anything i wouldnt just go out any buy myself.

edit- we just didnt register

Post # 24
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I’m actually shocked! that a note went out saying just pay us via this website.  and don’t bring us an envelope to the wedding.  To bring a gift to someone is a loving gesture.  Her wedding isn’t an event to prepay a ticket for (its what it feels like).  I think things have gotten outta control in the wedding gift giving department.  

Post # 25
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Personally, I’m not a fan of honeymoon registries but I don’t think that they’re rude & they’re getting more & more popular so they’re becoming more main stream.  I do think asking for cash is pretty bad though. In a case like that I wouldn’t register for cash, I just wouldn’t register at all.

Can you team up with another couple going to the wedding and you can all get them a couples massage or a dinner voucher or something for their honeymoon?

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