Post # 1
I wanted to get some opinions on this issue…
I know most ettiquette boards say you can only include your registries in the bridal shower invitations and anywhere else is a big no-no. Though i did find one that said times are a changing and that it was an acceptable thing to do. In my culture (i’m asian) guests automatically give monetary gifts; it’s like sending the RSVP card in American culture…it’s something that’s normally done without a second thought (though asian guests are the WORST at replying to RSVP’s).
The registry was created mostly for his side and for our friends. We don’t live together and he only has the most basic things so we actually did register for a toaster and measuring cups. =P With the language barrier, different groups/sets of friends, and long distances friends/family, getting the ‘word of mouth’ about where we are registered doesn’t seem realistic.
After discussing with the Fiance, I refused to insert those little store registry memo’s into our invitations or have it ON the invitations but I did agree we would somehow include it with our invitations or our STD’s.
So i was going to create a mini-newsletter to be included with our STD. This would have our website, who’s in the wedding party, the different events going on, airports, hotels, places to go in the city and lastly where we are registered at.
I guess my reasoning is that I’m giving my guests all these suggestions about the airports and hotels to help make their trip easier if they plan to attend the wedding but i’m not EXPECTING or INSISTING that they HAVE to come (though i would really be happy if they all could). So take that and put it in the context of registries…IF our guests decide they would like to get us a gift, then they’ll have an idea of where to start BUT it doesn’t mean I’m expecting/insisting they absolutely must buy from the registry. Gift or no gift or just a card with a personal message/advice would be great, we just want our guests to enjoy themselves and have a great time.
What do you all think? Is this a potential solution?
Thanks for any advice and suggestions. =)
Post # 3
What about posting links to your registries on your website? Perhaps mention in your newsletter something like "registry information is available on our website." That way it’s not blatant, but the info will be out there and the direct links can be helpful.
Post # 4
We had a similar issue with where to put registry information. Even though times are changing, I knew I did not want to see it in the invitation.
Ultimately, we decided to steer everyone to our website and tout it as the "go to place for information." On our home page, we explain where people can find the registry info. We plan to include our URL with all the wedding correspondence that goes out (STDs, invites, showers, etc) because it also has useful travel and event information.
I think if you include anything with the STD, I’d include some info about your wedding website. There you can explain that you arent expecting them to bring stuff, but if they want to you’d like something off your registry or a card, etc.
I wouldnt worry about it too much.
Post # 5
I second (third?) the other posters to just put all this information (including the registry information) on your website and include only the website url on your Save-The-Date Cards or invitations to direct guests "for more information." Or you can make little business cards with your website url on them to include with the STDs/invitations.
This is what we did and it worked out great. It will also be less time and aggravation for you in making the newsletters, stuffing the envelopes, and paying for any extra postage. It also receives the stamp of approval from any etiquette sticklers. Good luck!
Post # 6
I agree that it’s tacky to put the registry info anywhere except the wedding website, and even then it should be small and subtle, in my opinion. I wouldn’t even mention the registry info on the invite/std/whatever. I’d just put the wedding website info. Most people know that if they have any questions (about airports, lodgings, registries, etc) the wedding website is the place to go.
Post # 7
If you’re bothering to produce a whole newsletter, I’m assuming that you don’t expect a significant number of your guests to be able to (or to bother to) navigate your wedding website. Otherwise you could just include the wedding website on your Save-The-Date Cards and skip the newsletter. If that is the case, putting your registry information on your website only is not a great solution. I don’t see how including it on your information sheet with your STD is that different than including it on your website, from an etiquette standpoint. After all, the main reason everyone seems to think it’s okay is that the website is not the invitation, but just a way of disseminating information. So is your newsletter.
I guess I would also disagree that "most people" know that the wedding website is the place to go for any information they need. I personally don’t know anyone who has ever had one. I didn’t bother to make one, because the majority of my extended family (who comprised the majority of my guests) are not that computer savvy – they don’t use one at work, and might or might not even have one at home. Out of our 150 guests, not one asked for the link to our non-existant wedding website. Quite a few did email me for advice on hotels, which would demonstrate that they aren’t completely technologically backwards.
Post # 8
I know that most people on my guest list do not automatically know to go to a wedding website, but I put the website on my Save-The-Date Cards for those who are likely to look (the others will just ask everyone where we registered) and I am including an insert in the invitation directing people to the website for information on how to get here, where to stay, and what to do. The website, of course, has a tab to our registries. To make it less of a we want you and your gifts too, we included thank you pages and such on our website.
Post # 9
We put our registry information on our website’s F.A.Q. page. The page also has info about where we’ll be living after the wedding so that people know that we aren’t moving into either of our current apartments (but without the actual address, since it is the internet). And it tells them where we met, and explains the groom’s first name, since my family keeps asking how he got such a unique name. (Ans.: his parents met at divinity school). These tidbits were partially added because we wanted the F.A.Q. to have something more than only registry information, but also for fun.
Putting the registry information in the F.A.Q. section leaves it a little hidden on the website, but we didn’t feel comfortable putting a link on the front page saying "info about gifts we want here". Also, our website is small: the menu bar links to pages titled Welcome, Ceremony, Hotel, To, Around, Fun, and F.A.Q. So, guests who are inclined to look for registry info on the website will find the link, so long as they have sufficient curiosity to click on the FAQ section. The non-internet savvy weren’t going to get there anyway. 🙂
Post # 10
I have never asked a couple (or anyone else) where they’re registered. And if you’re registered at Macy’s, Bloomingdales, Williams-Sonoma, Crate & Barrel, Target, or Walmart, you won’t have to tell your guests. I guarantee you they’ll figure it out.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
Yeah I’ve generally just searched online to figure out where a couple is registered. They’ll either be determined to buy from a registry or they won’t be. Almost all of the major stores make it available online. So I assume your friends will be savvy enough to figure it out and the family members who are inclined to do monetary gifts will keep doing just that.