Post # 1
Hello! Totally new to all of this, planning my first (and hopefully only!) wedding for August 18, 2018!
What is the etiquette for setting up gift registries? I’m kind of in a complicated situation where I’ve been with my fiance for 11 years, we have two homes and so we have all the basics most newlyweds ask for on a registry. We’re also ethical vegans which extends far beyond food, for example we buy mostly made in the USA or fair trade things which tend to be more expensive. Is putting expensive things on a registry a no-no? I’ll put some low priced items too for those who can’t afford to get us much, but is it wrong to dream big and say, put an Amish made rocking chair at $250 or a set of Cutco cutlery for $1000 on a registry? Chances are his parents or brother will spend big, but I don’t want to look greedy either you know?
Also, how many registiries should you create, and how many is too many? Because we have such specific tastes, I was thinking of making a registry on Amazon.com and PotteryBarn.com, and listing some local stores that sell fair trade things (because some of my family seriously refuses to use the internet).
Or should I just scrap the registry thing and ask for cash/gift cars? Both my sister and his brother asked for cash/gift cards only, which I thought was kind of weird. Me personally, I enjoy making a registry and receiving physical gifts, I think it’s fun, but I also don’t want to seem like a pain in the butt with my special requests and restrictions on the types of gifts I’ll receive. I already hate myself as I’m typing this out for sounding like some princess!
Post # 2
Are you having a bridal shower? If so you will probably need a registry. You should definitely include some cheaper items though-If not, no registry needed for the wedding! If you already own two homes, maybe do something other than a shower to celebrate your engagement.
Post # 3
Ok, so I guess I don’t know what all these showers and stuff are for! My fiance’s brother got married and the bride had an engagement party, bridal shower, and of course the wedding. It seemed they got gifts (cash, gift cars) at all three. So I was thinking of just going with a one shot wedding deal, no other parties because my family doesn’t have the resources for such things.
So is it weird to have a registry if you’re not having a shower?
Post # 4
its perfectly acceptable to have a registry for a wedding even if there’s no shower. I would limit the places you register to 2, max 3. Have a variety of price points.
Nothing dictates that you have to have a registry. But if you Want one, go ahead.
Post # 5
You can register for anything you want. I think it’s helpful for guests to have a variety of price points. (Like maybe register for individual cutlery pieces rather than one really expensive set?)
We ended up registered at 4 places and guests used all of those lists, but I was afraid it would be too many.
Post # 6
I’m registered at 5 places- which I think is too many- but my guest list is global and covers about 20 states so this allows people to shop where they please!
Also, I wouldn’t register now for a 2018 wedding- most of what you have on the registry won’t even be available then! I’d hold off until at least next summer/ fall
Post # 7
wondering where you live? In my area cash gifts aren’t the norm so I did a registry. I think two places are enough but you could use Zola or blueprintregistry.com where you basically can link gift ideas from any website. I think you are going to risk coming off as overly greedy if you have been together a decade, own two homes and then put a ton of restrictions on gifts. I get wanting gifts 😉 I’m 35, first and only marriage and I dont see why when it comes to weddings people start talking about only gifting what people “need” instead of “want”. But rather than list out all of your restrictions just only register for things that foot the bill, hopefully you can come up with a mix of price points. Don’t include too many pricey things but personally I was surprised when my fmil bought up $1000 in gifts and family members went in on $200-$300 worth of gifts in a couple of instances.
Post # 8
If you use Zola.com you can make things “group gifts”.. so you can put that $1,000 item and let people donate what they like towards it.
A good rule of thumb to avoid looking greedy is to avoid being greedy. Think of your guests, first and foremost, and make sure you make it so people can spend whatever they feel comfortable with without feeling like you expect them to spend $250+. Achieving that is as simple as making sure there are plenty of inexpensive and moderately priced gifts for them to choose from.
Also, if you want cash you can keep your registry very small–most people understand what that means.
Post # 9
Adding expensive things is fine, as long as the lower price points are well covered too.
As for how many regiatries, we plan on 3. Amazon, Bed Bath and Beyond, and one more yet to be desided – possibly somewhere more specialized in cooking supplies (we love cooking together and trying to make chef-quality food)
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
We have 2 registries. We aren’t having any pre-wedding parties so the registry is strictly for the wedding itself.
I would make sure you have items at various prices so all of your guests will feel like they can get you something without breaking the bank, but I think it’s fine to have a handful of large ticket items. It all depends on your guest list, really.
Post # 11
It is totally fine to put expensive items on your registry as long as you have items at all price points! It also helps to “know” your guests. If you know a lot of your guests may not be able to afford expensive items, make sure you have an abundance of low price point items. If you know some of your guests may buy more expensive items, you can add a couple more to your registry to give them options. You are also 100% fine to have a registry if you aren’t having any pre-wedding parties. We had 3 registries, Macy’s (contained 95% of our items), Bed Bath & Beyond (I don’t like BBB but we knew some guests really liked shopping there (especially my inlaws) so we put ~10 items on there), and Amazon, which had a just a few more expensive items we wanted that weren’t at either store.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone! I’m now wondering if I sshould just not mention our vegan leanings in reference to gifts? Do most guests buy straight off the registry? Obviously if it’s on our registry we’ll be happy with it, I just wasn’t sure if I needed to assert vegan and fair trade etc. when sharing our registry links.
Post # 13
You’re an ethical vegan and you want something Amish made? That’s hilarious. Amish produce the most puppy mill/pet store animals in this country and use every part of the animal including to make the stuff they sell in their stores.