Post # 1
So I had my shower this past weekend, hosted by my bridesmaids and it was so, so beautiful! They put so much work into it, I was totally shocked and felt so special. What an amazing party! Annnyway, I was curious about registry stuff. My FI and I have registered at 3 places, all with both online purchasing and stores nearby, with a variety of pricepoints. Our items are rather random as I’ve owned my home for about 5 years and have a lot of the stuff already that I guess you’d typically expect on a wedding registry (i.e. I don’t need a vaccuum, blender, every day dishes…), so a lot of it is ”filling in the blanks” of things we don’t yet have but could definitely use. We did register for some nicer things like fine china, new flatware, etc because we love the idea of using them for holidays and special occasions, but then we also registered for new towels, random kitchen accessories, and the standard less expensive items.
Weeell, so far we have recieved almost nothing from our registry which I’m embarrassed to admit I’m a little dissapointed about. My mom got us some of our china (yay!), and two of my bm’s got us things off the registry which we’re pumped about! We did get several random sets of towels that are completely different colors/patterns than we registered for (we wanted just plain white), and colors which match nothing in the house, and then random little nick-nacky type things that left me scratching my head as neither FI or I are fans of ‘clutter’, haha. I totally appreciate everyone’s gifts, and more than that I appreciate them taking the time to come to the shower and have a great time with us, don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to be gift-grabby or anything and I’m not un-appreciative. I also know people sometimes prefer shopping off the registry or finding things at other stores for a better pricepoint, whatever, and maybe I’m in the minority but I always shop off the registry because I know that these are items the couple genuinely wants/needs (unless it’s a good friend and I know of something in particular that she wouldn’t register for that she’s been wanting!) Was just wondering if this is a normal thing? Should we have even done a registry? I guess we’re secretly hoping that we get at least some things from our registry or gift cards to the stores for wedding gifts 🙂 Also, having a pretty small house we don’t really have ideal storage opportunities so I’m not sure where I’m going to put all of these things (particularly the nick-nacks).
I do hope there are some gift receipts for the various mis-matched towels so that we can hopefully trade them in for a matching set, although I think they were all purchased at different stores, none of which we are registered at 🙂
Anyway, I knew I could ask you bees! What have you found to be true for your showers and/or wedding?
Post # 2
In my circle most people give cash, so maybe that’s what your guests are doing for the wedding itself. As for shower gifts you didn’t ask for, smile, say thank you, and return away!
Post # 3
I always give off the registry.
Post # 4
At showers, I always give off the registry. At weddings, I almost always write a check.
I think it’s very strange that no one really bought off your registry. Is there a chance that the registry information wasn’t passed around so people just didn’t know? I’d never buy something completely random for a shower — if I didn’t know where they registered or what they truly wanted, I’d get them a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond or a generic home store like that…
Post # 5
gymbunny04: I am a huge fan of buying off the registry….. to me it is foolproof……
As for your situation……. are you sure that your guests were aware of the registry (was the information on the invite, on a wedding website, or an insert in the invitation)
Any chance that your relatives can snoop around and try to find out for you where a lot of the gifts were purchased????? Hopefully you can return or get a store credit……
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
I’m sorry, but I can’t sympathize with anyone griping about receiving gifts they didn’t want. It just seems incredibly ungrateful to me. I never got a wedding shower and we got mostly cash as wedding gifts. We didn’t even have a registry, because like you we already own a home and had most stuff we need. Dish towels don’t take up a lot of space. Store them in a closet and use them for rags if you’re really bothered that they don’t match anything. As for DH and I, we usually get a gift off the registry for the wedding shower but give cash as a wedding gift.
Post # 7
Was the registry included on the invite? My first guess would be that not everybody knew about the registry, which may explain why your mom and bm’s used it and the rest didn’t. I always shop from the registry for showers, so if I had known there was one as a guest, I would have gone straight to it for gifts. I think many people would do the same.
There’s not a ton you can do other than thank everyone for their gifts, and return anything which doesn’t work for your house. For wedding gifts, keep the registry up and make sure that you mention it on your wedding website when the invites go out.
Post # 8
The OP didn’t seem u ngrateful to me. I think it is normal to hope for things off your registry, and I agree with her about mismatch towels…they are sort of useless. Anyway, the tone of the post seemed plenty respectful!
Post # 9
for my shower i only got about 3 gifts from my registry. alot of the other girls bought me lengerie. Our wedding is in a few days and we have maybe 5 more gifts from the registry purchased but i think most of my family gives checks at the wedding.
Post # 10
Yes, they had saved me an invitation (I didn’t get to see them before the party because the details of the shower were a surprise – they were so cute!) and they had included registry information on the invites. I wasn’t trying to sound – and I don’t think I’m being, ungrateful. I’m not at all, as I mentioned we did appreciate everything 🙂
My FI and I are just kind of confused. Also to clarify – they weren’t dish towels, they were (random) sets of bath towels, which do unfortunately take up a lot of room in our (limited) closet space.
Post # 11
I totally smiled, gushed, and said thank you! And I plan to do the same as I write my thank-you notes. I would never, ever let it show if I didn’t care for something. It’s about the thought, I do realize this and my momma raised me to be a lady 😉 We were just curious about the whole situation, we’ve never done this before haha and weren’t sure what to expect or what is typical which is why I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask my fellow bees!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Where do you live? I think this can be a cultural thing. We live in a fairly small town in the intermountain western US, and we got mostly physical gifts for our wedding. Of those, I’d say half were off-registry. People like to be creative and get you something THEY think you’d like, rather than what you’ve clearly indicated you’d like… luckily most of our gifts were really pretty cool. And the rest got donated, with a nice note sent to the gifter who was none the wiser. Anyway, that’s my $0.02.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
as long as you know where the unneeded items were purchased, most stores are willing to give you store credit so that is an option. I find most people buy off the registry but those I am closest to often deviate as they know me well enough to purchase off the registry.
Post # 14
I think some people, especially younger people who don’t have a lot of wedding/shower experience just don’t get it. I’m going to a shower next week and my younger friend showed me a picture she bought the bride. It’s def not everyone’s taste and was NOT on the registry. She told me that everything was picked over off her registry, not realizing there was more than one store, so she got that. I feel bad because she spent like $70 on something that I’m not sure the bride will love, and it’s a custom non refundable/returnable peice. when I suggested a gift card instead, she was just like oh well if she doesn’t like it no big deal. She was just happy she did her shopping and it was over with. I think some people are just like that, they don’t wanna put in the effort so grab whatever they think they would like and not think about it further. See what you can get receipts for, return what you can, donate or re-gift the rest. It’s disappointing but you didn’t pay for the items they did so it’s not “hurting” you in anyway.
Post # 15
gymbunny04: I generally shop off the registry, but if I don’t, I definitely give a gift card for one of the stores the couple registered with. Just this past weekend a friend had a shower and they got some things off of their registry (they had four different registries with lots of similar items), and I think people knew they weren’t moving out until next year (nearly a year after the marriage), so they received lots of gift cards and only a few things off of their registry. I definitely think registries are important and generally they are used to stop people from going out on their own and purchasing you things they “think” you will like.