(Closed) Registry before Engagement Party??? Help!

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1102 posts
Bumble bee

I think registering for an engagement party must be a regional thing. I have *never* heard of it or seen it amongst our friends/family, but I know in some places it’s very common. If that’s the case where you are and you’ve got time, go ahead. I wouldn’t worry if you don’t get around to it though, the showers and wedding are the traditional gift giving times rather than engagement.

A wedding website is where you set up a site about your wedding for your guests’ information. There are lots of places on the net where you can do this for free, they come with templates etc so you can just use those if you’re not very tech savvy! On the website you might have photos, stories, registry info, maps and hotel info, event info for the weekend (e.g. rehearsal/day after brunch), anything else you think your guests will need. So yes, it’s different to a registry 🙂

Post # 5
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

First of all, congratulations, about 10 times over! An engagement, a graduation, a new job and apartment, and a birthday? Geez girl, when it rains it pours, huh? ;D Enjoy this time, however stressful it may get! That all sounds so wonderful.

Secondly: Don’t stress. I know that families have this unnerving way of cheerfully implying that you ‘have’ to do this and you ‘have’ to do that, but don’t ever forget that ultimately, the choice is yours and your FI’s! This can get tricky if parents are helping pay for it, but still, don’t let anyone tell you that you need to do anything unless you really have the time and desire, okay? Trust me, you’ll be much happier that way!

That being said, it sounds like your area/culture/family is like mine, and pre-engagement party registries are expected. However, it also sounds like you are majorly pressed for time, which is totally understandable.

What I suggest is maybe registering for just a few items to start, and then finishing up your registry later in the summer, or whenever it is you start sending out save the dates, wedding and/or shower invitations, or whatever. How many people are coming to your engagement party?

I had 70 people at mine. Fiance and I registered for about 35 items (consisting of our fine china, bedding, including pillows and sheets, bath towels, and a couple of random kitchen electrics) and received 17 or so gifts from it. We also got some cash and I think two or three gift cards from the places we registered! All in all, it was a wonderful way to kick off our registry. A month later, we went and added in our casual china, all of our kitchen stuff (omg, if you’re like us and in need of a lot, kitchen stuff will take up TONS of registry space!), stemware, flatware, serverware, frames, a vase and candlesticks, etc etc etc. If we’d had to do all that in our tiny time frame before the engagement, I think we would have had to camp out at Macy’s!

My point is, don’t feel like you have to do a full registry and design a new website in a month’s time, okay? Baby steps! <3

Post # 7
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Not a problem! Yeah, about 20 gifts for 45 people sounds just fine to me. That should be do-able, even if you guys just spend one afternoon hitting up a store or two. And the beauty of online sites is that there are tons of reviews; you can take everything in in person and then come home and research it further, then make changes whenever you have time at home.

Go for that tea kettle, hon! Tell Fiance it’s one down, 19 to go! ;P

Post # 9
5789 posts
Bee Keeper


Congrats on your engagement! There’s a ton of helpful articles on the internet designed to help those newly engaged get ready for the planning and excitement that’s to follow. You’ll probably be spending a lot of time reading, just so you can familiarize yourself with the changing world of weddings. Families,  friends,and other brides-to-be will all have plenty of ideas for you, so get ready for the ride of your life! Try and have fun with it all and use those things you find helpful and forget about the rest. 

Good luck to you !!

Post # 10
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

We registered before our engagement party at the insistence of my Future Mother-In-Law.  You can keep it small, with just stuff you really absolutely want and then add more to it as you shower and actual wedding get closer!

Have fun at your engagement party and congrats!!! 

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