(Closed) Registry Cards in Invitations

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wouldn’t because then it seems like you are asking for gifts, which is rude imo. If someone want’s to get you a gift they can inquire, also that information is usually in the invite if you are having a bridal shower 🙂

Post # 4
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i think you will find that everyone is split on this issue. i personally don’t care at all if there is a registry card in a wedding invite. in fact when i did my own invitations i included them because i thought i was SUPPOSED to (based on past invites i have received!).  i saw nothing wrong with it…..only after the fact did i find out it was “against etiquette” and i regretted it because some people feel really strongly about it!  so you just have to decide if you care or not.

Post # 6
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I did it. I was the norm in my circle and people would’ve been mad if I didn’t do it.

Etiquette says it was wrong, but Emily Post wasn’t at my wedding. lol

Post # 7
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

ok i was faced with this issue as well. IN MY CIRCLE of family..no one assumes anyone is being a gift grabber. Really and truly, if I wanted all my gifts.. I could just skip the wedding and buy the gifts. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, my guests have even requested it! 

Post # 8
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

In my circle, it’s perfectly acceptable. We live in a different state from most of our guests and most don’t know each other. We do not have a website and word of mouth is completely impractical. Personally, I like when it’s included because it makes things easy for me as a guest. I would never call to ask what a couple wants so if I was an invitee, I would just guess at a gift. At least by including your registry info you avoid getting 10 mixing bowls you can’t return.

Post # 9
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our solution to this (and I had no idea it was considered rude) was to omit any direct reference to the registry on the invitation itself, but put our wedding website address on the enclosure (with the directions, hotel accommodations, etc). On the website, there’s a whole section devoted to our registry 🙂

I think it is also standard practice to ask the maid/matron of honor or the mother of the bride where the couple is registered.

 

Post # 10
Member
29 posts
Newbee

I was recently invited to a wedding where the VERY FIRST card in the envelope was a registry card, which was also very large, thick, with glitter on it. So tacky, and it totally turned me off the wedding (although they are borderline acquaintances anyway and a destination wedding so there were other reasons not to go too).

But so long as it’s not the #1 card in your envelope, and it’s not glittery and way larger than everything else in your envelope, I would say it’s not a big deal. 

Personally, though, we’re just putting our registry information on our website and not including anything in the card.

Post # 11
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am deffinately putting one in. Especially since I am having a honeymoon registry but no wedding website… how would people know where to find it unless I tell them?

Post # 12
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had a big convo on WB about this too! I decided to have an enclosure card called “Details” and one of the items on the list includes a link to our wedding website, but I specifically say that things like fun things to do in Portland and the registry information can be found there. But I do not explicitly say where I am registered.

Post # 13
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2008

While etiquette does state that you shouldn’t include the registry information in the invite, a lot of people are doing it more these days because guests want to easily know where to shop and don’t mind the help.  I wouldn’t assume that people will go to the website to get that information.  If they are a close friend or family they will most likely just ask someone close to you to find out where you are registered.  So in this sense, including the card in the invite helps people know where to go.  And if people don’t know where to go, you are more likely to get cash, gift cards, or non-registry items.

You can’t go wrong in not including the registry card in there.  You may have people who feel it was too forward of you to include it in the invite, but you will have people who will have issues with many different aspects of the big day.  It’s your day, though.  You do what you feel most comfortable with!

Post # 14
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are not doing that, but we do have on the one card in our invite our website so people can get various info such as directions, hotels, things to do in the area and of course the registry info.

Post # 15
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Our registry info is going on the website.  There’ll be a card in our invitation suite that directs them to the website for other info (hotels, directions, etc). 

Post # 16
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Absolutely not! Even if it offends one person, why risk it.  I wouldn’t want any of my guests to think I was gift grubbing, even if they were wrong.

I never want to produce an image of myself that is unfavorable.  And if I inadvertently did I would want to err on the side of etiquette. 

I mean if someone was upset that I didn’t provide registry cards, I’d have etiquette on my side, rather then providing them and people getting upset and me having just a well i felt like it on my side.

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