Registry Faux Pas

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
4007 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You haven’t even gotten it yet. Just wait until you see who it’s from then decide. I would probably return it since you know where it came from. It’s not ungrateful to exhange an unwanted/unneeded item for something you’ll actually use. Just thank the person and move on to the next item.

Post # 3
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Why is this a faux pas?

Someone decided that is what they wanted to gift you.  You can either return it after the shower or keep it and use it.  

Either way, send a thank you note thanking them for their generosity.  

Post # 4
9841 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve heard sometimes when people purchase things along with a registry item it can get accidentally added sometimes…maybe that’s the case?

I’d wait and see who gives it to you lol.

Post # 5
47440 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
rae419 :  I would speak privately to the person who bought it, explain that you did not add it to the registry,that a mistake somehow happened, and ask if they are ok if you exchange it for something else.

Do this after you have received the gift.

Post # 6
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

View original reply
rae419 :  Hopefulyl most of your gifts will come with a gift receipt. I would thank the guest for it as usual and not mention its not something you wanted. Then either return it with a gift receipt or exchange it if you can.

Unless its someone who will frequent your house and ask about it, then you might be stuck using it or risk them asking where it went!

Post # 7
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I would keep it. This is something your guest chose for you even if you didn’t personally choose it for the registry.

Post # 10
13646 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
rae419 :  What? People are most certainly never obligated to shop off of your registry. Maybe there was nothing else they wanted to buy at their price point. Maybe they loved the frame and thought it is the kind of thing you might have forever. For that matter, traditional etiquette does not even approve of gift registries. Perhaps this person prefers to select her own gifts and purposely bought from a store they know you like.

The polite thing to do is thank them for the gift, period. That said, you are certainly not obligated to keep something you don’t like or have use for.

As long as you do not tell them you plan to return it, there’s no faux pas. That said, there really is something sentimental about keeping something chosen with love by someone you care for. If the person means something to you, you might consider that.

Post # 11
3897 posts
Honey bee


If they purchased something off your registry and then also chose that item, when the cashier rang it up, they probably put all items under your registry.  So I would bet that you didn’t accidentally register for it, but they chose it specifically for you.

However, I’m not a huge fan of decorative stuff like that, so I would graciously accept it and then return it after.    

Post # 12
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

This happens if they buy something and mention your registry at many stores, if you look at my registry it looks i registered for deodorant and memory cards because my Maid/Matron of Honor bought them at the same time she bought my gift for the shower. 

If you don’t want the frame just exchange it for stuff you actually want, if you say it’s a shower gift and you have a registry they are very accommodating at most stores. We exchanged $200 of silverware and glassware that we thought would be a “nice upgrade” for a new dish set we had actually needed.


do not tell the person you are exchanging it, completely unnecessary. Just be very gracious and write a thank you note promptly.

Post # 13
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Yep, if anyone purchases anything else while shopping on your registry it’ll show up as “purchased”- at least at Bed, Bath and Beyond- I ended up with a Snickers bar and a thing of Bar Keeper’s Friend on mine. 

Don’t understand why you wouldn’t just accept the gift in the spirit it was intended though. 

Post # 14
5114 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s not a faux pas to buy something for a shower that’s not on the registry, I don’t know where you got that idea. Take it back for a store credit. It’s not a big deal.

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors