(Closed) Registry for couple with an established home… acceptable or off-putting?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Acceptable. People are going to be buying gifts for a wedding. The registry just helps point them in the right direction.

Post # 3
13290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s fine — you don’t have to buy off the registry if you don’t want to.  It’s just a list of things they’d appreciate receiving if you opt to get them a gift.  Like you did, just buy a gift card or give cash or get something sentimental. Registries aren’t demands for gifts.

Post # 4
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think it’s totally fine. I’ve lived with my Fiance for 3 years. I can’t wait to upgrade our knife set and get some better sheets! 

Post # 5
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My Fiance and I live together and although yes, we might have already had two sets of the mismatching plates from when he lived in his college dorm and the second hand pans that still work but not well, we put those things on our registry because we wanted stuff that actually worked well and matched that we don’t have and people want to know what to get you anyway. Having knives that cut anf pans that don’t take double the time to cook has helped our daily lives and we’re very grateful. That could be the case with this couple.

Post # 6
7357 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’d be put off, unless the items they already have are of a lower quality and they’re upgrading some “key” items.  Like if they have a 5-year-old $20 coffee maker from Target already and have a new Cuisinart one on the reigstry, fair play. If they already have a top-of-the-line coffee maker and have another on the registry, I’d suspect they’re planning to return their gifts and get some cash. In which case, I’d be annoyed, but I’d probably give just cash (and possibly a little less than I’d normally give).

Post # 7
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

cls9q:  Exactly because (if you’re like us anywa) the stuff you have is all stuff probably merged together and handed down and it’s not the same thing as having items bought for you to start your life together 🙂

Post # 8
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Soemone is always gonna end up buying you a present for your wedding. Might as well be something you need. In fact, if you’ve been living together for a while, a registry might come more in handy than if you weren’t since you’re more likely to have a lot of typical wedding gift items already.

Post # 9
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

They are probably trying to get better versions of the stuff they already have. When you’re establishing a household, you may get something less expensive and later on realize that your tastes are different or you should upgrade to a better quality item.

I know when I was planning my wedding, I was worried about all the different judgements from other people and my Darling Husband told me to cut it out. As you think it’s off-putting for them to have a registry, someone else might think it would be stupid if they didn’t have one. It just proves that when you plan a wedding, you just have to be as considerate as possible, but go with your gut and do what’s right for you.

Post # 10
8692 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

A huge amount of couples live together before marriage. It wouldn’t bother me in the least.

Post # 12
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would assume they’re upgrading. Even if that means buying the slightly newer and more gadget filled version of something  they already have but is  few years old. Especially if this guy is into the best of the best, I’d guess he wants to newest and greatest. 

So I don’t see the registry as offensive. If you don’t want to buy from it or would prefer to get a gift card, that’s perfectly fine. But I don’t see any reason to be rubbed the weong way by a registry.

Post # 13
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014


I put all that stuff on mine and I have been living with Fiance for almost 2 years. I cant wait for a new bedding set, new cookware. I would love to upgrade what I have now. I dont see a problem with this what so ever. I dont understand why this would rub you the wrong way. 

Post # 14
3239 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I do get it. It kind of feels like a cash grab, especially if it is the sort of place where you can return registry items for cash.

Post # 15
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

Not sure why it rubs you the wrong way.  More and more couples are chosing to live together before marriage.  We also registered for top of the line stuff even though we had decent household items already.

Also, to purposely give them less money because youre annoyed at their registery is a dick move so I would stick to what youre comfortable giving.

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