Post # 1
My friend is getting married in France just her and her Fiance and she asked me if they should do a registry. I said that she should because then she could take advantage of the discount after but when I told my husband he thought that it was weird and that he wondered whether that was her way of hinting for gifts. I do not think she is the type to gift-grab like that but now I am worried that what I said was wrong.
For eloping brides, did you/are you doing a registry and do you expect gifts from friends? I just want to know what the etiquette on this is because I have never heard of this before.
ETA: I was just going to send a card to her house with a modest check but I want to know if I am supposed to use the registry if she does end up doing it.
Post # 3
@busterbluth: There’s nothing wrong with registering. Your friend will only look gift grabby if she gives her registry information to people who haven’t asked for it.
As long as she doesn’t advertise it and only shares the information only with people who specifically ask her if/where she’s registered…she’s fine.
Post # 4
Yeah I think it would be gift grabby to advertise the registry to everyone but if people ask, I guess it’s fine.
Post # 5
we eloped and we didnt register – i wouldnt to be honest (although i like registries)
when we returned there were a few cards and 2 gifts – thank you notes promptly sent. about a month or so later we had a big cartered tented party and we did receive some gifts but not too many (again i didnt register because i wasnt expecting any)
as she is eloping, if it was my friend i would send a congrats card but i wouldnt send a gift unless she had a follow up reception/party and i was invited
Post # 6
I’m with your husband on this one. I know people will want to give gifts, but it seems a little off to have a registry in this situation.
Post # 7
@lisa105: I agree that it could be okay as long as she doesn’t go around telling people where she registered.
We eloped, and we did not register anywhere. We didn’t even think about it.
Post # 8
We’re eloping; and we’re having a tented party 2 months later to celebrate with friends & family. I plan on registering hadn’t actually thought anything of it. When we had our engagement party 2 years ago (before we decided to elope) we didn’t register and everyone kept asking us where we were registered so they could give us gifts. I figure when we have the party after we get back people will probably want to come w/gifts. I’m not saying they HAVE to; but having the registry available to them in case they ask in my opinion is just helpful. I won’t include any registry information on the invite to the party; and i will only tell people where we registered in case they ask or maybe ask my Mom or sister.
Post # 9
I’m not sure about a registry if you’re eloping. I figured people bought gifts when they were invited to the wedding and either came, or declined (in the latter, I wouldn’t expect a gift.) A registry in the case of elopment would almost be like advertising your registry for people that weren’t invited to your wedding, you know?
Post # 10
We eloped and we did not register. We didn’t even put our return address on the annoucements because we did not want people to send us gifts. I think it’s extremely tacky because we didn’t invite anyone to the wedding and it was a total surprise.
Post # 11
i think when you do announcements only, dont expect gifts.
however, if AFTER you are married and you do an at-home reception, small dinner, bbq, whatever, then it’s okay to share the registry by word of mouth.
Post # 12
Traditionally gifts are sent because the giver wants to wish the couple well, and not as compensation for the cost of the wedding/reception. So if a registry is appropriate in the context of a big wedding I don’t see why it shouldn’t be OK for an elopement. In both cases it should be word of mouth only, only given out to those who ask.
Post # 13
I am eloping this April at Sandals. They have a registry for their weddingmoons, and we have registered. We put extra tours and activities ppl can contribute to if they want to give a gift. We will list the registry info on my bridal shower invites only, and by word of mouth. I only did it because I know ppl WANT to give gifts, regardless if they are invited to our wedding or not. I was apprehensive at first, but we keep getting asked where we are registered by our fam and friends. When ppl find out you are getting married they want to give you gifts because they are happy for you, NOT beacuse it is expected. I do not find it tacky. I know if the tables were turned I would want to know registry info to give gifts, and would give whether it was a traditional wedding or elopement.
Post # 14
I think registering is helpful because some people will probably want to give her gifts regardless so she might as well lead them in the right direction!
Post # 15
She could set one up, but just tno advertise it anywhere. I was told that some people will wnt to give you a gift even if they weren’t invited to a wedding. A registry can at least show what taste in items you have, even if they don’t get something from the registry.
People could even just google their names and find a registry if they wanted to give a gift.