(Closed) Registry Help?! – We do not need dishes

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I have been to a few showers where the bride and groom have already lived together for so long and truly didn’t need anthing for their home.  What some have done is to register for a very small amount of things that would be “nice to have” and then once those were gone people just gave them money.  I have also been to one that didn’t have a registry at all and had a money tree.  There are a few cute poems you can find talking about a money tree instead of a registry that goes in the shower invite.  They did this at a Jack and Jill BBQ.  So it was really a big party celebrating them with a money tree.

Post # 3
Member
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
nicole31016:  anything you want to upgrade?  Nicer glassware?  Any fancy serving dishes or holiday specific things you want (like I want a set of Christmas plates that will be used for about a week out of the year…something that makes no sense to spend money on but if it’s a gift then why not!?)

Friends of mine registered for a new bed and the store had it set up almost like a layaway where people could make payments on it for them – like a big group of people buying the gift.

Any artwork you want?

Post # 4
Member
1579 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

You don NOT need to register for the normal stuff. We are registering for camping equipment, tailgating stuff, and the kitchen appliances that I would just really like to have. We have been living together for 4 years so we don’t need any of that stuff either.

Have a registery, but only put the stuff on it that you want! Don’t put stuff on it that you don’t need or that you think you should register for just because you’re getting married.

A registery is supposed to be a guideline for what the bride and groom want. So have a small registery and the honeymoon fund and that should be plenty because a lot of people are going to give you cash anyway.

Post # 5
Member
4057 posts
Honey bee

Hmmm not sure how a bridal shower would go with just a honeyfund, but hopefully someone else has done that and will chime in. My husband and I had already both lived on our own for a while and had all the basics, so we used the registry for items we hadn’t yet splurged on and also upgrades for some of our old items. Examples would be the kitchenaid stand mixer, a new vacuum, new bed sheets and a duvet, and kitchen items we didn’t yet have like more specific baking items and some barware. We didn’t register for new luggage, but that’s a popular one I see on my friend’s registries too. The only thing you want to be careful of is not doing all expensive items on the registry, it should be a good mix of low, middle, and high price ranges.

Post # 6
Member
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are also established, but will be registering for things that will likely need to be replaced every so often. For example, cookie sheets, a crock pot, bed linens, silverware (does anyone else’s disapear?). We are going to also upgrade some of our cheaper items we own, so nicer pots and pans, microwave, trash can. Some stores also have food products that we use. For example, speciality olive oils and seasonings.

Another idea if you don’t want any home items would be to formulate your registry around a hobby. So if you like campings, you might register for new headlamps, lanterns, sleeping bags etc.. 

Post # 7
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Either plan a theme an govern it around things you want (lingerie is always nice because you really can never have enough underwear, lol) or request gift cards or cash. You may have to risk appearing tacky to some (definietly not all) and speak up or simply get things you don’t want.

Post # 8
Member
47339 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Register for things you DO want or would like to upgrade. Do NOT include or allow the hostess to include a “cute poem” asking for money. If you have no need for THINGS, you don’t need a shower. A shower is not a cash collection. It is supposed to help the couple set up house.

Having said that, you can still have a shower.

Have a theme shower like stock the bar, backyard BBQ, time of day etc where all gifts are something anyone can use. e.g If I get 7 am, I prepare a bed tray with coffee, wonderful preserves, a gift card to a local bakery for croissants etc for breakfast in bed.

Post # 10
Member
10 posts
Newbee

My husband and I lived together before we got married and had everything we needed. We registered for “upgrades” like nicer pots and pans. We ended up returning so many items that we later decided we did not need to upgrade. (Why did I think we needed formal and casual red AND white wine glasses?!) Most of those items were from Bed, Bath, and Beyond, which gives you cash for returns from your registry! 

People love giving stuff…it’s just the nature of bridal showers. I would say just register for a bunch of small items so guests have tangible items to give you, (and you have things to open for games, etc.) then make returns later. Maybe not completely honest, but better than saying you would like a bunch of gift cards!

And I agree with julies to an extent that a shower is intended to get a couple started, but I think that in 2015, things are different. Many brides are a little older, already have stuff (which, in your case includes a house) and don’t need to rely on shower gifts. So now I think the shower is about celebrating the bride and the future marriage, and should be an opportunity to have fun with your family and future family.

Eat, drink, and play (embarassing) games!

Post # 11
Member
3443 posts
Sugar bee

We had everything we needed, so I registered at Pottery Barn for really nice outdoor wine glasses, margarita glasses, barware, salad bowls, etc. We don’t even have an outdoor space where we can use that stuff right now, but we will once we buy a house. I basically have an

Post # 12
Member
1998 posts
Buzzing bee

my fiance and I already had everything we ‘needed’, but I registered for a lot of things I would like to have. We both went and had a TON of fun registering for more ‘luxury’ items we would never spend money on ourselves. 

– Seasonal dishes (pottery barn has some lovely things!)

– Ridiculously nice sheets 

– Temprapedic pillows (life changing)

– new/ upgraded pots and pans 

– Pottery Barn has a lovely selection of home good items…..candles, candle holders, wall art, etc!

– really nice faucet head for our shower 

 

I bet if the two of you walk through a couple stores, you’ll find a TON of things, big & small!

 

Post # 13
Member
535 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
nicole31016:  What about wedding china? I’ll admit, I hardly use mine, but I am ever so thankful I have it when I host a nice dinner about once a year. Even if you don’t ever plan on using good china/crystal, you might find yourself wishing you had a set later on down the road (or to pass down). Also, it doesn’t have to be terribly expensive (Macy’s had great prices and usually has sales/coupons). 

And ditto what the other bee’s have said. What items do you wish you had but don’t? And someone mentioned linens. Sure, you have bed linens…but you’ll always need more and they aren’t cheap! We registered for tons of bedding and 6 years later, we are so happy we don’t have to shell out $$ for new ones! 

Post # 14
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

Not necessarily less expensive, but I’ve heard that Really Nice Bedding and Really Nice Towels are always great for registries–not always what you would get for yourself on your own volition, but something high quality that you’ll use every day.

If you’re at a loss for stuff, I would look at uncommongoods.com or browse Amazon for novelty entertaining pieces or decor items you suddenly can’t live without (and imho are more fun to give than a toaster). How else will you go on a picnic or enjoy Shakespeare in the Park without that insulated wine-and-cheese carrier and reversible outdoor blanket?

Post # 15
Member
528 posts
Busy bee

We were in your same shoes – we registered for a combination of “alternative” registry items and upgrades to some of our current stuff (replacing beat up hand me downs and cheap college purchases).  Some of our alternative items were a horseshoes set, boat bean bag chair, time & tide clock, stainless boat grill, propane smoker, patio furniture, beach towels, cooler, camp chairs, bike lights, board games, and an aquarium.  I was surprised at how many people gravitated towards the fun/alternative items over the standard household items.

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