MemberWe’re note married yet but I thought etiquette said you weren’t supposed to. I think we’re going to hold off and make a big event of opening and using all the gifts after we come home from our honeymoon.
MemberWe waited. I don’t see the harm in adhering to the tradition, and no one plans a wedding thinking it won’t happen… but sometimes weddings get cancelled and gifts have to be sent back, so it’s best that we all just wait.
MemberI see no problem with it. I’m not going to wait to use stuff “just in case” the wedding doesn’t happen. I plan on making cookies for the wedding with my new baking stuff.
MemberTO RunsWithBears: —> THIS
mchitt329: asked…
Why wouldn’t I ?
Because, as noted, these items were SPECIFICALLY GIVEN / MEANT FOR STARTING YOUR MARRIED LIFE TOGETHER… and not beforehand (so kind of like the old adage, don’t open until Christmas)
As per Etiquette if the Marriage doesn’t happen, OR if there is a Break Up (or a Death) in the short-term following the Marriage the correct procedure is to return the gifts to those who gave them* … or in the very least make the “appropriate gesture” of offering them back… and that includes Engagement Gifts, Shower Stuff, Wedding Gifts and any financial items received (Cash, Cheques, and Gift Certificates as well).
* It could be very embarrassing to find oneself in a situation where the Wedding gets cancelled entirely, and the Bride (and ya it is always the Bride who ends up doing this) finds herself holding a bunch of “used stuff” that needs to go back to the folks who gave it. The whole idea being, that the gift giver can “recoup” some of their losses too… afterall we seem to forget that Weddings tend to be expensive for everyone, Wedding Families as well as the Guests (and the whole idea is to inconvenience one’s Guests as little as possible)
And as someone else said… many Brides who are a tad superstitious… or those who just don’t want to mess with Karma… consider the using of Wedding items prior to the Wedding is also tempting fate.
MemberWe integrated them in as soon as they came. I know the “what if the wedding doesn’t happen?” idea, but I was afraid that tripping over unopened boxes in our tiny apartment might lead to the fight that would call the wedding off! 😉
MemberNo way! That would have taken the fun out of coming home after the wedding—finally husband and wife—and cooking together, sleeping on new sheets, using new towles, and redecorating with all of our new things given to us by the people who we are closest to in the world.
Coming home to already have used them or looked at them for a while wouldn’t have been as exciting…but that’s just me. I like enjoying the moment/stage of the relationship I’m in, and right now we’re blissfully happy newlyweds.
MemberMy Fiance and I plan on not using much until our roommates move out. We don’t want our roommates ruining our wedding stuff (and due to money issues, we won’t be roommateless until about a year after were married.)
MemberTO BrooklynWife: I agree it is a TON OF FUN phase…
When I was married the first time (circa 1980) my Ex and I came home from our Honeymoon and had a total ball opening gifts, and organizing our apartment… and “playing” with our new toys that had been given to us with so much LOVE (those were / are great memories)
Mr TTR and I will do things similarly this time round as well… it really is a blast… lol, 100x better than the BEST CHRISTMAS you’ve ever had.
MemberWe didn’t although since we already had been living together for years, it wasn’t like we were in dire need of a frying pan or a vase. I wanted to wait as it was kind of exciting and fun to be like “Yay, we get to use this now that we are husband and wife/newlyweds.”
MemberNo because we weren’t living together yet. We had just got an apartment shortly before the wedding and my hubby used stuff his mom let him borrow until we could both use our things together. =)
MemberYes, although mine weren’t gifts from others, we actually bought a few plate sets off our own registry. I wanted us to get an every day plate set that we’d use for the rest of our lives, but wanted to be sure the set we chose was right for us. Right now our plates are a Corelle mish-mash (some from my grandma and some I bought) and we were considering making the jump to fiestaware. Before we have our friends and family buy us over $1,000 in fiestaware we wanted to be sure we love it. And I think we do.
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