Post # 1
So my younger brother and his future wife just emailed our whole family their registry. And oh my god. The average price for everything is about $200. There are about 10 things that are under 100$, but oh my goodness gracious. There’s a $400 crock pot on there, and a $300 waffle maker. Added to the mix is that they’ve been living together for 4 years so they have alot of stuff already.
So the problem is, our family is pissed. 1) Because some of them can’t afford that stuff 2) Thinks its asking for to much stuff(she wants 48 crystal goblets at 90$ a pop) 3) worries about their guests being able to afford anything
I’ve been trying to say that it’s their registry and if people can’t afford it, they’ll just get alot of stuff off registry. But every cousin/aunt/other sibling/parent/grandparent are all snarking behind their backs, want me to say something, and that can’t be good either. Thoughts? Any words of wisdom I can pass on to family?
Post # 3
casually suggest they should add more things at different price points. your family is right, most of their gifts will be off-registry!
Post # 4
People really like to bitch about registries–even the most appropriate ones.
I’d probably say something to your bro, just be gentle. And you might start it by saying, “You know, because things are so expensive, you’re setting yourself up for getting a lot of crap that’s off-registry OR for people to show up without a gift at all. The economy’s pretty bad right now…”
I do think that what you’ve been saying to your family is the right thing to do–it is, after all, their registry and they can put on it whatever they want, just as your family has the discretion to purchase or not purchase whatever they want.
Post # 5
You might just say to your brother – “Hey, I was just looking at your registry and noticed you don’t have a real range of prices. You may want to think about adding a few lower item gifts. You can always return them for store credit to get the larger items. Just a thought.”
I think that’s about all you can say. As with your family, maybe they can all go in on a gift.
Post # 6
If you don’t want to confront your bro, you could suggest to your family members that they go in together on a few group gifts rather than separate gifts to make it more affordable – or they can get them gift cards they can use towards items on their registry. That does seem like a bit of an oversight on your brother’s side though.
Post # 7
I agree w/ kitzy that you should just try hinting that it’s a good idea they add different price range items. Are you in a position to be honest w/ them and just say, “We got your registry, and while there are some beautiful/great/interesting items on there, I’m concerend some of your guests may not be able to afford certain items”.
48 goblets?! What the…
Post # 8
Wow, that is pretty expensive for a registry. I would talk to your brother and tell him the truth. But, watch the words you use. I would say something like “Hey, I noticed there were a lot of expensive things on that registry; are you starting another one with lower prices so that people who may not be able to afford it can buy off of that one? I’d be afraid that they’d get you something that you really don’t need that’s off the registry.”
I mean, they HAVE to know that those prices are a little extreme and that there are some people who will have a hard time affording it. I’m sure they’ve thought about it – so if you ask it in a way where you’re inquisitive, it may have a better reaction and get him to realize it.
Good luck and I hope this doesn’t put a damper in their day. 🙂
Post # 9
what does a 400 crockpot do? I mean, does it do it’s own grocery shopping? insane.
Post # 10
Definitely suggest to them that their prices are too high and they should add more at different price points. There are even registry guides out there that tell you how many $20 gifts, how many $50 gifts, $100 gifts, etc. so maybe you could show them one of those!?
Post # 11
I also think that you should say something. I would want to know. I would say it not in a “people are talking smack about you” sort of way, but in a “I think you need to have things at different price points” way. There is a certain “know your audience” element to registry selections and, while they may be registering for the higher end items for completion discounts (which I get), higher end items can’t be the only things on a registry. We had things from $10-$335 (bedding), but ensured that there was a good spread of things under each price point.
People can be really cruel when it comes to registries. I know that I’ve cried a couple of times about ours (although that was more about my FH’s family not liking registries period and sort of having a “who does she think she is?” attitude…I really did not want to offend them). The point is (which you’ve made to your family) is no one is demanding that they buy the $90 goblets. It’s a GUIDE for people looking for help when selecting gifts or so they know the couple’s china pattern.
Post # 12
@jennabride SERIOUSLY. It’s stainless steel, but common. You can get a really nice high end one that’s digital, what else do you need really?
Overall though, my aunt has already made a hint, so I dodged that bullet. 😀
To put it in context, there’s already been some extended drama involving the two of them and their respective families. In the end, they are all adults and can deal with going in on gifts together (or going off registry), and my brother and his new wife can deal with not getting everything they requested. And learn for when I get to register! 😀
Post # 13
That’s craziness. I can’t believe they even emailed it to the family. I don’t tell anyone about mine unless they ask!
I laughed when I read your post because I fell in love with $90/stem crystal. I debated over whether or not to put it on the registry, but went with a $40/stem crystal instead….just to avoid this exact family drama!
Just because I’m getting married doesn’t mean I’m suddenly Ivanka Trump 🙂