(Closed) Registry on invites?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude to include where you are registered on the invitation itself?
    Yes - here's the proper way to inform guests about the registry (comment below if you have time!) : (81 votes)
    86 %
    No, not rude at all! : (13 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Put your registry info on your website and have your wedding party or parents let guests know via word of mouth if/when they ask. I think the sentiment behind not putting it in your invite is that it’s in poor taste/rude to expect people to bring a gift (although we all know we do Wink).

    Post # 4
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I’ve always heard that its rude to include registry info on your invite but I’ve almost always gotten invitations with registries.

    I put my registry info on my invite…guess i’m rude :-O

    Post # 5
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    It is a no-no.  Even the lady at BB&B said “Here’s some cards to put in your invites to show your registry info.  It isn’t a no-no.”  I said “Yeah, thanks” and recycled them.

    Post # 6
    Member
    457 posts
    Helper bee

    It actually never even occured to me to put the registry on the invite, and I’m not sure why! I had a wedding website that I put on the invite, so I figured if people wanted to see it they could, and most of the women attending were invited to my shower as well so they would know where to look.

    My family only ever does money gifts as well so I think that’s why I didn’t really think to put it on there too. The last few weddings I went to it only had the wedding website, so maybe the site is a new way to come across as not tacky?

    Post # 7
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    come to think of it all the places that we thought of registering with and ended up going with give u a pretty little card with registry information to put in the invite so it cant be that outrageous.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2030 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Word-of-moth is the only appropriate way to do it. Older guests will know to ask your mom or your Maid/Matron of Honor. Younger guests will either ask you directly, hear through the grapevine, or do a search for your name on weddingchannel.com (which shows multiple registries).

    Post # 9
    Member
    5921 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I think those cards are meant for the showers, not the invitations.

    I have never recieved an invitation with registry information, and didn’t put it on mine either.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It is absolutely a no-no to put the registry on the invite.

     

    The number one gift is the guests’ presence. This is why it is not OK to put the registry on the invite.

     

    The secondary gift is whatever card or object they give you. The maid of honor/best man are responsible for making sure people know about the registry. People will inquire, or they will get their own gifts (even knowing about a registry some people want to get something else).

     

    You can put it on your website if you do one.

    Post # 11
    Member
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I would not (and did not) put registry info on/in invites.  I’ve only seen people use those cards for showers – not actual wedding invites.

    I’d just include your registry info on your website and otherwise rely on word of mouth.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    absolutely not! it’s incredibly rude to put registry info on your invitation. the stores only give out those cards because they want people to buy from them – they don’t care about etiquette or your best interest! you can put your website on an info card in your invitation set, and then link to the registry from your website, but never put your registry on the actual invitaion! it’s offensive.

    Post # 13
    Member
    14494 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    No, you don’t put anything about registries on the invites. I am putting in a separate card that will have our web site listed on it. The web site is the place to tell people where you are registered or by word of mouth.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @noodlesploosh: It’s considered poor etiquette to put registry information on invitations. The reason is because the purpose of an invitation is to request your guests’ presence to share in an experience–in this place, witnessing vows. It is an extension of hospitality. Registry information implies that your guests’ attendance is contingent upon giving a gift and thereby a breach of the very hospitality you are trying to offer (and according to traditional etiquette–and there are many different views on this, but I’ve seen this is several etiquette books–no one is required to give a wedding gift, even though it’s customary).

    Very very traditional etiquette holds that the bride and groom should never directly ask for wedding gifts, which means no registry info on your Save-The-Date Cards or website either–strictly word of mouth. And believe me, people WILL call your parents, his parents, and/or your bridal party members if they don’t see a registry listed–so don’t worry about no one seeing your registry if you go this route. No one will assume you don’t want gifts just because it’s not on your website/invite/STD.

    However.

    Times are a’changing and now it’s far more common to see registry information on the website with a reference to the website on the invite and/or STD. In fact, some (particularly younger) guests consider it a breach of etiquette NOT to have the info on your registry because it puts the burden of finding everything on them.

    So the bottom line is: No registry info on the invitation; yes it’s okay to put it on your website and have the website referenced on your invite/std unless you want to adhere to conservative etiquette in which case go by word of mouth.

    (Sorry it’s such a long response–I feel it’s helpful to explain where these “rules” come from–bear in mind, I am not the etiquette god–this is just knowledge I’ve culled over the years and from reading lots of books 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    You can put your wedding website on an insert (with directions or details) and include the registry info on the site. Most people will ask though. I just made sure my parents and my in-laws knew where to direct people.

    Post # 16
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I wont be putting the registry on the invite. I havn’t decided yet whether or not I will mention me and Nathan’s wedding website again. BUT I did put it on our STD and the website has our registry’s and all that good stuff.
    Good luck on what you decide!

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